Gwyneth Paltrow: Ring in the New Year With a Colonic to Rid Your Body of Fire Retardants

Gwyneth Paltrow in her second cookbook, It’s All Good.

Each year, Gwyenth Paltrow takes to Goop to publish what she promises is the ultimate guide to cleansing your body in anticipation of the new year. It’s always an in depth feature, complete with advice from doctors and nutritionists, her own recipes, and the promise of a lighter feeling body, mind, and soul (thanks in huge part to her favorite thing: a colonic). But every year, it also makes us laugh. She does admit, “Detoxing is a nebulous and overly-marketed concept…and there’s a lot of crap out there,” but then goes on to suggest “a handful of spa treatments,” and ways to rid the body of “fire retardants.” What other crazy things has she said about detoxing since launching her lifestyle site? Here are her best detox-related quotes. Read them, and then go enjoy a hamburger.

On how she knows it’s time to detox: “I’ll wake up exhausted; I can feel my adrenal cortex being really high. When I get into bed, my heart will pound, my skin won’t be good. I’ll feel cranky, and then I’ll just know it’s time.”

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“If your bowel movements get sluggish, you can accelerate things by drinking half a shot glass of castor oil followed by a glass of water or using a mild herbal laxative.”

On detoxing in the winter: “Make your liquid meal a warm soup instead of a cold smoothie or juice, especially at night.”

“Allow yourself programmed treats - I often have a glass of red wine in the evening and smoke a cigarette on a Saturday.” 

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From her second cookbook, It’s All Good: “Sometimes when my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, we’re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs.”

“As I do not wish to subsist on lemon water in the middle of winter, I asked my doctor…for the guidelines he uses to achieve a good detox that is not as hallucinogenic (in a bad way) as the Master Cleanse.”

As always, the rules are simple (but tough). Just say no to: alcohol, caffeine, added sugar, gluten, dairy, soy, corn, and nightshades (white, blue, red, and yellow potatoes, tomatoes, eggplant).” 

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