9 Terrifyingly True Tales of Holiday Fashion-Shaming
If your family gatherings mean an outpouring of love, emotional validation, and non-problem drinking, this story’s not for you. If, however, your family puts the “fun” in “dysfunctional,” then you understand how traveling home for the holidays rarely lives up to the soft-focus, crackling fireplace vision of togetherness that Maxwell House ads shill. Instead, it can be a minefield of awkwardness, misunderstanding, and sometimes, downright rudeness — especially when family members don’t quite get your style.
Yes, despite the fact that you’ve been dressing yourself for nigh on 30 years, plenty of family members still take the holidays as an opportunity to let you know exactly what they think of your look, with the kind of self esteem-crushing candor not commonly seen outside televised modeling competitions.
But at least you’re not alone. From the auntie who side-eyes your sweatpants, to the mom who still insists on pantyhose, here are nine terrifyingly true tales of family fashion shaming. (Names withheld to protect the shamees.)
Photo: Courtesy of Shopbop.
The Anti-Athleisure Auntie
“You know how in any group of sisters, there’s always a mean one? My mean aunt always has a good one for me. Last year, it was a quick glance at my sweatpants (it was the day after Thanksgiving!), a slight narrowing of the eyes, and then the totally not-loaded question, ‘you’re still looking for a boyfriend, right?’ Just a chill, casually devastating day with auntie.”
The Maternity Fashion-Expert Grandma
“In 2006, I wore a short, empire-waist dress over leggings to my family’s Christmas. I had just moved in with my boyfriend of a year, was in the ‘comfortable enough to pig out together’ phase of cohabitation, and had gained a good 15 pounds. After I left, my sister called me, talking in a low tone: ‘Um, are you pregnant? Because grandma is over here telling the whole family that you are.’ It was super fun telling everyone the next day that I’d merely gotten fat, not pregnant, and that empire waists were in, dammit!”
The “Natural Look” Uncle
“I have an uncle who comments on my makeup every single time I see him at a holiday or family event. Whether it’s my red lipstick, blush, or filled-in brows, he’ll make some kind of jab like, ‘What’s with the lips?’ or ‘Those aren’t your eyebrows,’ etc. It’s so annoying that I usually tone down my look when I know he’ll be around.”
Photo: Courtesy of Net-A-Porter.
The Kilt-Killer Mom
“I used to dress really tomboyish in baggy clothes, so my family didn’t see my body that often. So it was extra traumatic the day I decided to dress up for Thanksgiving dinner in a sweater and short kilt, and my mom looked me over and exclaimed with true surprise, ‘You look nice — Wow, your legs are BIG!’ Pretty sure I looked aghast, so she quickly added: ‘That’s a good thing!’ Nice save, mom. I’m still afraid to wear skirts around her.”
The Never-Chill Grandma
“I have PTSD from years of abuse and put-downs about my outfits from my grandma. I never dressed crazy, but she makes comments in front of family members at meals, in front of friends at parties, even in changing rooms while shopping for ‘more appropriate clothing’ because she thought that, as a teenager, I was wearing too much Forever 21. She basically doesn’t think anything’s classy enough unless it’s J.Crew. Because of her, I planned my holiday outfits three weeks in advance of Thanksgiving. I’m wearing a boxy gray Madewell dress that I get a lot of compliments on. We’ll see how it goes.“
The Pajama-Hating Mom
“In the ‘90s I was into wearing men’s striped PJs as a daytime look, and my mom was absolutely mortified. She told me I looked like a mental patient that escaped from a hospital.”
Photo: Courtesy of Matches Fashion.
The “Put on Pantyhose” Mom
“My mother used to lay into me about having bare legs with a dress. I think for her generation, not wearing tights or stockings was seen as a little…maybe not ‘loose,’ but definitely risqué. I’m sure she still feels the same way now, but she doesn’t mention it anymore. Maybe Miley taught her there are worse things I could be wearing.”
The Coterie of Judgy Cousins
“Visiting my cousins in China is the worst. They’re all half my size, and try to get me to go clothes shopping with them, at which point they tell me all my clothes suck, and also I don’t fit in any Chinese sizes. So it’s sort of a fun combo of body and fashion shaming.”
The "Shame on the Family” Granny
“For one family get-together, I was thinking of wearing a pair of really cute J.Crew trousers I’d just bought, but thought ‘maybe they’re too dressy.’ Boy, was I wrong. When I showed up, everyone was in their finest garb, and I had on JBrand jeans, Ancient Greek sandals, and a J.Crew embellished denim button-down. My grandmother nearly fainted when she saw me and said: ‘You look like you going ah market!’ I tried to justify by saying none of my pieces were cheap at least, but she was so disappointed in me that I was going to make the family look bad by dressing common. Maybe should have worn those J.Crew trousers after all.”
