7 Funny Foodie Twitter Accounts

Julia Bainbridge
Food Editor
April 1, 2014

Happy April Fool’s Day! Here are our favorite recent tweets from the seven funniest fake food-related Twitter handles. Follow them. Have a good laugh. Carry on. 

Tweets on pizza. Funny ones. That’s all it is. Example: “The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.” It also pulls at the heartstrings of all pizza lovers out there: “Is ordering pizza an emotion cuz I’m feeling it.” And is so inspiring that it may convert the others: “Accept pizza not apologies.”

We really hope that @coffee_dad is “just a dad who loves his coffee,” but it’s likely some SNL writer or a fed up Intelligentsia barista. (We have no proof of that, mind you.) Whoever it is, B.J. Novak and Susan Orlean are fans. And so are we.

This is a very passionate (often violently so!) account. “If you love someone, let them go. Into the ocean, with a concrete block tied to their feet. They are a threat to your delicious kale.” This person loves kale. Or hates it and its trendiness so much that he or she decided to throw significant energy at creating a Twitter account that has since gained 20.4K followers.

Full of irreverence and profanity, the human behind this handle tweets mostly, but not exclusively, about food, often highlighting the ridiculousness of our self-important, indulgent foodie culture. Example: “Please enjoy my ‘butter on toast’ served on a velour kitten bed spread.” It started as a mockery of food bloggers—“I can smell my soul when I cook,” reads the bio—and now interacts, in a friendly (but still profanity-packed) manner, with many of them.

Another more insidery account, this is a parody mash-up of the poetic tweets of former Gourmet editor in chief Ruth Reichl and the bawdy mind of chef-turned-TV host Anthony Bourdain. Josh Friedland, who finally revealed his identity as the account’s author to the New York Times last summer, became so popular that he took to print, writing “Comfort Me with Offal,” a play on Reichl’s memoir “Comfort Me with Apples.” He also received a James Beard journalism prize for humor, a category that was invented just for him.

This account has nothing to do with tofu except for the similarity in the way the two function: “Tofu absorbs flavor,” as the handle’s bio reads, and, if you follow this account, it absorbs your tweets. Then it tweets a nonsensical mashup of words you’ve tweeted. 

“A simple bagel with a simple dream,” reads this account’s bio. And it’s accurate: every tweet is, simply, about bagels. “A bagel is not a very good lawyer.” “Makeup tip: the key to full eyebrows is feeding them a bagel. They’re probably starving. It’s been hours since their last meal.” “You can’t claim bagels on your income tax return I checked.” As for what the simple dream is, we’re not sure. That everyone stops hating on carbs? Bagel world domination?