A Boozy Tour of Orvieto, in Italy's Umbrian Countryside
A nighttime view of Orvieto. (Photo: Thinkstock)
Mattie Matthews writes a blog called 67 & Dumped. A few years ago, her husband dave (whose name she refuses to capitalize) unexpectedly left her for a younger woman and another life. Now she is traveling the world.
Before dave ran away with that slut I really didn’t drink much. I always thought there should be only one drinker in the family. Two, and you have the “Jerry Springer Show.” By the way, remind me to tell you about when I went to the “Jerry Springer Show.”
Where was I? Oh yeah, now that dave is sipping sake in Japan with the girl that didn’t get away, there appears to be a void in my house where there used to be a drinker. I have therefore embraced the cocktail hour and I do think my evenings are better for it
If you like wine, a trip to Italy is for you. If not, the Bronx is lovely this time of year. Consider that my travel tip. I, however, am a fan of the grape.
So here I am in Orvieto, about a 90-minute drive from Rome, with my sister Marcia, drinking their local white wine. Did I mention that Orvieto has wonderful wine?
Orvieto wine that quickly disappeared. (Photo: Mattie Matthews)
I had been to Orvieto about 30 years ago. I remembered that the hotel that we stayed at, La Badia, was wonderful and the town had the most beautiful Cathedral I had ever seen.
La Badia is a former abbey dating back to the 6th century. Once the cells of the abbey’s monks, all the rooms overlook the Umbrian countryside.
It had been updated since I was there last, but the sense of history was still all around. You felt like you were walking where Caesar walked.
The people who worked there were extraordinarily kind. As proof of that they brought out a tray of lovely hors d’ouvres with our wine. Let me tell you. Any hotel that throws free eats at you gets five stars in my book.
Marcia and I couldn’t have been happier.
La Badia. (Photo: Matthew Ragen / Thinkstock)
The first morning we almost missed breakfast because we couldn’t find the key to our room. I made it really clear to Marcia that without it we’d have to haul all our valuables down to the dining room.
It turns out that I should have looked where I left it, in the lock outside the door. I thought I heard Marcia say, “Nice going, stupid,” but I must have been wrong. She’s way too sweet for that.
Marcia, unimpressed with my efforts. (Photo: Mattie Matthews)
Since my finances were decimated by my “better” half running off to a lifetime of happiness, my travel souvenirs have changed from jewels and pottery to refrigerator magnets.
I was trying to buy one in this little shop across from the cathedral in Orvieto but I was told that the guy had no change. The thing was four euros and I had a five.
How could a store that only sells crap to suckers not have enough change to get the deed done?
(Courtesy: Orvieto-Info.com)
And may I say that for a town that is world famous for its gorgeous cathedral, there are no magnets with true pictures of the church. They are all lousy “artist” renderings.
I walked out disappointed, but I was able to cheer myself up by remembering that I’d just have to be satisfied with the magnet I got in Rome that has the Pope giving a thumbs up.
Can’t get enough of Mattie? Check out her hilarious adventures in Rome here.
