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Andrew Bogut describes the Dallas Mavericks as a target for bird droppings

What has two thumbs and doesn't think he'll be on the Dallas Mavericks much longer? This guy. (AP)
What has two thumbs and doesn’t think he’ll be on the Dallas Mavericks much longer? This guy. (AP)

Andrew Bogut just compared his current situation to being defecated on, so that should give you a decent idea about how he feels about coming off the bench for the bottom-feeding Dallas Mavericks.

“The best metaphor to use would be sometimes you’re the bird and sometimes you’re a statue,” Bogut said when asked during a 10-minute interview with Australia’s Sky Sports Radio to describe the differences between his first seven seasons on an often-middling Milwaukee Bucks team, four years with the ever-contending Golden State Warriors and a few months “now in probably one of the more testing years of my career here in Dallas.” And we all know what birds do to statues. Or on them.

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Interestingly enough, it was the 32-year-old center’s statuesque play that became the impetus for Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle’s decision to move Bogut to the bench on Tuesday. Dallas could not afford to field a slow-footed starting frontcourt of Bogut and Dirk Nowitzki, so the former opted to come off the bench in favor of the sort of smaller, quicker lineup that’s become all the NBA rage.

“We’ll give it three or four more games and see how it goes,” Bogut told reporters after the experiment worked in Tuesday’s 113-105 win over the Washington Wizards. “We won the game. Obviously nobody wants to come off the bench. I knew what he was doing with starting both of us and then pulling one of us a minute into the game. If you’re going to go through that, you might as well do it the right way. You’re a 10-24 team and you’re coming off the bench, it’s never the most exciting thing in the world. It’s not something you go home and talk to with your family and get a cake over.”

For the record, the Mavs moved to 11-24 with that win — a half-game up on last place in the West and still only four games out of a playoff speed. This came up often during the Sky Sports Radio interview, which was then transcribed by news.com.au and published under the original headline, “Andrew Bogut trade: ‘I’m done with Dallas.'” Bogut took to Twitter to admonish folks for buying into the headline, which has since been adjusted to, “Andrew Bogut expects to be traded by Dallas Mavericks.”

Go ahead and listen to the entire interview. Bogut does not paint a much prettier picture:

“It’s definitely an adjustment,” he said of coming off the bench. “Thankfully, I’m a free agent, so I only have a couple of more months left here and then will obviously most likely move on. I don’t see myself hanging around with everything that’s gone on, so it will be an interesting six months ahead.”

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Asked if he expected to be traded, Bogut added, “You never know,” and then detailed how attractive the remainder of his expiring $11 million salary might be to prospective trade partners, even detailing how he could reach a buyout agreement or be waived in order to sign with “whoever you want.”

“The trade deadline is obviously approaching in February, so a lot of action, a lot of teams will start heating up here,” Bogut added. “In the next two or three weeks, we’ll see a lot of movement. A lot of teams are now trying to free up money now. Obviously, the collective bargaining agreement was agreed to and signed for another seven years, so there’s a lot more cash floating around in the offseason. Teams are going to start trying to free up some cap space to go after certain guys, so the silly season will be absolutely nuts going into the trade deadline.

“I don’t really read too much online with that kind of stuff. I just have a direct contact with the people managing me and see what they have to say about it. But, look, it’s no secret I’m a free agent at the end of the season, and I’ve got a valuable contract. … I know being a free agent having four months left on my contract I’m a valuable commodity to be moved.”

Maybe, “I’m almost done with Dallas,” or, “Andrew Bogut won’t be surprised if he was traded,” are more accurate headlines. Either way, he is not long for the Mavs, and hopefully we can agree, “Andrew Bogut describes the Dallas Mavericks as a target for bird droppings,” is the best headline for this post.

After a few months, you might not think Bogut warrants a statue in Dallas, but don’t put it past Mavs owner Mark Cuban erecting a seven-foot effigy in an idea that’s strictly for the birds. (Hey-oh!)

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Ben Rohrbach is a contributor for Ball Don’t Lie and Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at rohrbach_ben@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!