Bryce Harper's deal with the Phillies made the internet lose its mind
Bryce Harper and the Philadelphia Phillies reportedly agreed on a 13-year, $330 million contract that could keep Harper in red pinstripes for the rest of his baseball career. The seemingly never-ending Bryce Harper free-agent sweepstakes is finally over, and not a moment too soon.
The internet essentially exploded when news of Harper’s deal broke. Four months of pent-up energy needed to be released, and released it was.
Philly athletes, both current and former, were thrilled to welcome a bona fide superstar to their ranks.
At times like these you already know what I would say……….. @Bharper3407 welcome to the #Phamily
— Jimmy Rollins (@JimmyRollins11) February 28, 2019
@Bharper3407 welcome to the great city kid!!! Looking forward to having some fun next week in camp and bringing back the winning ways to Philadelphia 🤙🏽 oh and can I get a loan 🤣 #Phillies #MLB #baseball #Harper
— Shane Victorino (@ShaneVictorino) February 28, 2019
YUPPPP @Bharper3407 PHILLY is the place to be 😎😎😎😎!!!! WELCOME
— fletcher cox (@fcoxx_91) February 28, 2019
Philadelphia the place to be!!!
— Alshon Jeffery (@TheWorldof_AJ) February 28, 2019
— Lane Johnson (@LaneJohnson65) February 28, 2019
The DC to Philly connection just got better. @Bharper3407 Welcome to Philly‼️#ifyouknowyouknow
— Rodney McLeod (@Rodney_McLeod4) February 28, 2019
.@bharper3407 Welcome to Philly! Let me know if you need any pointers. ⚾️ pic.twitter.com/LVcDTZg0j7
— Mack Hollins (@mackhollins) February 28, 2019
Phillies pitcher Jake Arrieta was so happy about Harper he had to clean his house … while wearing nothing but fancy underwear.
Getting the house ready for @bharper3407
A post shared by Jake Arrieta (@jarrieta49) on Feb 28, 2019 at 12:24pm PST
Phillies first baseman Rhys Hoskins, who got to know Harper during the 2018 Home Run Derby, was absolutely thrilled.
— Rhys Hoskins (@rhyshoskins) February 28, 2019
BIG MOOD🔋 pic.twitter.com/Hf1Ixhs3Ig
— Rhys Hoskins (@rhyshoskins) February 28, 2019
Giants fans Smash Mouth took the news as well as any band could, because they know what one All-Star can be worth. (Get it?) (I’ll show myself out.)
Congrats to the @Phillies ! Way to step up! That $ will be chump change in 8 years. #smart
— Smash Mouth (@smashmouth) February 28, 2019
The length of the deal — 13 years — had a lot of people thinking creatively.
The year is 2031.
President Jaden Smith just signed an executive order making Instagram accounts mandatory for all American citizens. Fast and Furious 15 is set to drop in July. MLB has the universal DH, aluminum bats and five bases now.
But Bryce Harper is still a Phillie.
— Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) February 28, 2019
FUN FACT: By the time Bryce Harper's 13-year contract with the Phillies is up, your small scavenging clan will likely have been subsumed into a greater Mega-City in the irradiated wastelands of what was once known as "Kan-Sas."
— Jon Tayler, Smiling Politely (@JATayler) February 28, 2019
Bryce Harper signing with the Phillies pic.twitter.com/TnjS3T16ME
— NHL Insider Chomper (@EmCarsE773) February 28, 2019
When Bryce Harper's 13 year contract ends, the Mets will only owe Bobby Bonilla three more yearly payments
— Very Real Jim (@jimadair3) February 28, 2019
I'm not tweeting any jokes about Bryce Harper's 13-year contract because I want to get invited to its Bar Mitzvah.
— Rodger Sherman (@rodger) February 28, 2019
One interesting note: The baseball writer who will have to cover the expiration of Bryce Harper's reported deal with the #Phillies and his next crack at free agency is doing swell in seventh grade and really showing progress with verb/noun agreement and breaking news on Twitch.
— Derrick Goold (@dgoold) February 28, 2019
This picture of Bryce Harper in high school is not 13 years old yet.
📷 Robert Beck (2009) pic.twitter.com/mca9QY85Hs
— SI Vault (@si_vault) February 28, 2019
What baseball will look like when Bryce Harper’s contract expires pic.twitter.com/WKsGLlr5LR
— SI Extra Mustard (@SI_ExtraMustard) February 28, 2019
And some Phillies fans just lost their minds.
How many times will Bryce Harper hit a HR with the Phillies pic.twitter.com/K0nb3ylUX7
— Andrew Athias (@AndrewAthias) February 28, 2019
All those babies named after Wentz and Foles last year will be going into high school and Bryce Harper will STILL BE WEARING A PHILLIES UNIFORM
— Allie (@mustang__sallie) February 28, 2019
Dallas: We just brought back our 37-year old tight end from the broadcasting booth
Philly: Hold my beer
— Kyle James (@Kyle_Phillippi) February 28, 2019
for nick foles so loved philly that he gave his only begotten son (bryce harper)
— CK (@cranekicker) February 28, 2019
Of course, some people needed to apologize for things they said when they thought Harper was going to eschew Philadelphia for Los Angeles or San Francisco. There are many, but in this case the “they” is Angelo Cataldi, one of Philly’s signature sports-talk radio bloviators. Hours before the news of Harper’s contract broke, Cataldi tweeted this:
Here’s my latest take on the Phillies quest to sign Bryce Harper: He had a chance to play in sports heaven. Now he can go to hell. When he returns to Philly as an opponent, he will be receive our full wrath with a boo like nothing he has ever heard. Believe it.
— Angelo Cataldi (@AngeloCataldi) February 28, 2019
Later that day, he felt a little differently! Gee, I wonder why?
I take back everything I said this morning. Woooo-hoooo! Phillies got Bryce Harper!!!!!!!
— Angelo Cataldi (@AngeloCataldi) February 28, 2019
Not quite a full apology, but good enough. Of course, Harper might not feel that way. But he can deal with that when he gets to Philly.
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