Why I’ll Never Wear a Bikini
Rachel’s swim dress — her antibikini. (Photo: Rachel Grumman Bender)
As a culture, we are obsessed with bikini bodies and how to get them. Women are bombarded with images of celebrities and models with flawless figures, frolicking on the beach in tiny bikinis. But recently, there’s been a growing backlash started by women — mainly moms — who are tired of feeling as though they have to reach a near-impossible level of perfection just to hit the beach.
They’ve taken to Instagram, Facebook, and blogs to flaunt their “mom bods” in bikinis, revealing things you’ll never see in a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue: stretch marks, loose skin, and C-section scars.
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Recently, mom-of-three Rachel Hollis posted a photo of herself in a bikini that went viral, saying she’s proud of her stretch marks and “permanently flabby” body. She encouraged other women to “Flaunt your body with pride!” Another mom blogger shared that she’s tired of looking like an “Amish grandmother in full-coverage skirted suits,” so she’s gone back to wearing bikinis, and “you should, too.”
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I admire these women for making themselves vulnerable, and I know they’re only trying to be encouraging, but there’s a middle ground being lost here. Not everyone loves bikinis. I didn’t love them or feel comfortable in them, even when I was 15 years old with a flat stomach lying on the beaches of Santa Monica, where I grew up.
A couple of decades, a twin pregnancy, and one C-section later, I have zero compulsion to slip into a bikini. The culture of body-shaming has gone on for as far back as I can remember, and it’s too hard to undo my own idea of what I’m “supposed” to look like in a bathing suit at this point — by the way, it’s an expectation that I hold only myself to.
If I truly wanted to wear a bikini, I’d put one on. In fact, one of the sweet freedoms that come with having a loving spouse and having children is that you then have a supportive posse who couldn’t care less about what you look like in a bathing suit. As far as my daughters are concerned, if I’m in any type of swimsuit, I am ready for the beach. No more action required.
I like that one-pieces are supportive and stay put. They don’t fall down or ride up as I chase after my toddler twins. And for once, I don’t have to think much about my bathing suit, except for the fact that I feel good when I’m in it.
Rachel Grumman Bender with her twin daughters. (Photo: Rachel Grumman Bender)
It took me years to find the perfect one, but I finally did (it’s Magicsuit Yvonne by MiracleSuit, and it lives up to its name). After a thorough bathing suit search and some serious misses — namely, suits that really should have been worn by a retiree — I found it, just in time for a girls’ poolside vacation: a black ruched, skirted swimsuit with a plunging neckline. In other words, the right amount of coverage so I felt comfortable and supported, but with some va-va-voom.
For once, I didn’t have to constantly fidget with my swimsuit or feel like I wanted to hide under a cover-up or stay glued to my lounge chair. Instead, I walked around poolside feeling confident and sexy — something I’ve never felt in a bikini.
I’ll continue to applaud women of all shapes and sizes who wear bikinis because they want to, but I’m going to take a pass and stick with my favorite one-piece. At the end of the day, I’m still taking their message to heart: Wear what makes you feel good, and rock what you’ve got however you want.
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