Should You Let Your Child Pee In Public?
Is peeing in public a necessity or bad etiquette? (Illustration by Erik Mace for Yahoo Parenting)
When my son was a toddler, we were in line at a drive-thru, and I saw a woman step out of the car ahead of us with a little boy. She walked him over to a row of bushes facing a busy street and instructed him to relieve himself.
I was flabbergasted. There were bathrooms inside the restaurant just a few feet away. Peeing into bushes while inhaling the exhaust of cars whizzing past seemed so unnecessary. Of course, as soon as my son noticed the boy, he started squealing, “Me pee pee in tree too!” To him, it looked way easier (and probably more fun) than the potty training we were doing at home.
STORY: Tricks to Make Potty Training Easier
A few years later, when we started T-ball, one of the moms always took her son to the nearest bushes to pee, despite having a public restroom within eyesight. (Needless to say, it often splattered to the delight of his teammates, my son included.)
STORY: The Truth About Nighttime Potty Training
I’ve never actually seen signs prohibiting against peeing out in the open, except in public pools, but do we really need those to remind us how inappropriate (and gross) this might seem to some people? Families play and picnic in parks, after all, and kids occasionally duck behind bushes during games of hide and seek.
I realize that peeing in public is easier for boys to do than girls, given that wiping isn’t as necessary, but I’ve seen my share of girls squat, too. “My daughters have popped a squat in the bushes on the beach,” mother-of-two Elaine Perdomo Clemente, tells Yahoo Parenting. “I told them it’s OK to do it in the saltwater, not in a pool, but they just won’t do it in the water. So [if there’s] no toilet around, the bushes get baptized.”
OK, I get it. Sometimes there is no alternative, but when there is one, is it better to teach our kids to walk to the nearest restroom? And for those with toddlers, can peeing in public derail potty training?
“Actually the most important thing for proper bladder and bowel function in children is regular and complete emptying,” Steve Hodges, M.D., associate professor of urology at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center, tells Yahoo Parenting. “So while public elimination may be in bad taste depending on your perspective, it may actually be beneficial.”
In countries such as China where potty training starts as early as four months, public urination is common. And according to Hodges, many Chinese children even wear split pants that allow them to go pretty much whenever and wherever they need.
The alternative, of course, is to hold it and look for the nearest restroom. “Are you kidding?” Denise Lopez Lasarte, a mother of two, tells Yahoo Parenting. “It’s the perk of having boys!”
It turns out that kids who hold their pee repeatedly often have accidents, experience bedwetting, and suffer from more urinary tract infections, according to Hodges — not that he’s a proponent of peeing in the street, as he’s quick to point out. “I think children should be kept in diapers until their bowel and bladder develop adequately to allow for normal bathroom usage.”
Although many parents choose to potty train based on convenience — summer, for example, is prime potty season because many schools and daycare centers won’t accept kids come fall if they aren’t fully trained, Hodes discourages that. “Potty training should be done when a child is ready,” he says. “We have an epidemic of potty problems in this country brought on by early and improper training, our low-fiber, processed, Western diet, and misguided school bathroom policies.”
When her two kids were potty training, Michelle Chesarino relied on bushes and trees only when she had no other choice, such as during road trips. “If it’s an emergency, what can you do?” she tells Yahoo Parenting. “I tried to make it as inconspicuous as possible.”
One way to get around such emergencies is to keep a portable potty in the car at all times. Chances are your kid will be sitting on the throne in public, but at least his or her business isn’t landing in places where people walk, play, or run. “The real problem isn’t children urinating in public on purpose,” says Hodges, “but urinating in public by accident [because they’re just not ready].”
Please follow @YahooParenting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. Have an interesting story to share about your family? Email us at YParenting (at) Yahoo.com.
