Should Siblings Attend the Same School? The Great Debate

Many parents are faced with the big decision of whether their children should attend different schools.

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Siblings who are close in age may benefit from having each other at the same school to offer social support, particularly if one or both are entering a new school. Plus, attending the same school makes it easier for parents to do drop-offs and pick-ups, as well as attend the myriad school events. But in some cases, keeping siblings together may hamper their ability to carve out their individual identities, increase the chance that teachers will unfairly compare them to each other, and fuel sibling rivalry.

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Of course, not everyone has a say in whether their children are together or apart — some schools have policies that automatically separate siblings, particularly if they’re twins, while others only have one mixed-age preschool classroom so separation isn’t an option.

The Research

Kids can help boost their younger siblings’ academic performance by being role models, sharing knowledge about school and teachers, and helping with homework, according to a study published by the University of Essex. This positive “sibling spillover effect” nearly doubles when siblings attend the same school. Interestingly, the effect is strongest if the siblings are also friends, according to Richard Lanthier, an associate professor of human development at George Washington University. “If the sibling is smarter and the younger one emulates them, imitates them, then they’re going to have performance that is similar,” he told CBS News.

There are benefits and downsides to siblings attending the same school. (Photo: Getty Images)

There is also research on twin separation. One 2014 study conducted at California State University at Northridge (CSUN) found that most principals (71%) believed that twins should be separated in kindergarten, while about half of teachers and nearly 40 percent of parents agreed that it was better to be apart.

The same study found that 81 percent of preschool and kindergarten-age twins wanted to stay together in school, but nearly 60 percent were put into different classes. But in some cases, that separation was detrimental — 3 percent of all twins who were placed in different classes in kindergarten reported being “very traumatized,” while 17 percent were "somewhat traumatized,” according to their parents’ assessments.

What the Experts Say

One concern with keeping siblings together is that it could be difficult for them to form separate identities, especially in the eyes of teachers. Parents who are worried that a younger kid will be unfairly compared to their older sibling should encourage individualism. “Being in the same school is fine as long as your child has been brought up to think for herself and be her own person,” Pat Mayer, a kindergarten teacher in Closter, NJ, told local news site North Jersey.

As for twins sharing a classroom, sometimes that close-knit bond (that twins often share) can create a two-person clique, affecting the classroom dynamic. “A huge part of education is not just developing individual difference but learning to be part of a group,” Bonnie Maslin, a psychologist in Manhattan, told the New York Times.

Mayer also feels that separating twins allows them to find their own voices. “They have enough togetherness outside of school and need something independent,” she told North Jersey. “And it discourages them [from playing] the same roles that they’re used to. It can be a good experience to see themselves in a different light.”

However, in regard to twins and academics, Lynn Melby Gordon, author of the study on separating twins in kindergarten and professor of education at CSUN, says being separated doesn’t necessarily lead to better grades: “The presumptions are not supported by the existing body of twin research,” she tells CSUN Today. “Instead, studies tend to show either no difference in the academic achievement of twins placed together versus apart or that academic achievement tends to be better when the twins are placed together.”

Gordon adds that when twins want to stick together, it’s a sign of a healthy, supportive relationship. But she concedes there are arguments for separating twins post-kindergarten — which could also be applied to non-twin siblings who are close in age. For example, if the siblings argue at home or in school, it may make sense to separate them while they’re learning.

What the Parents Say

“We don’t have a choice right now, but I’m going to separate my boys for kindergarten. I don’t think it’s as important in preschool, but it will be as their little identities form. I don’t want teachers to compare them or for them to compete with each other.” —Jennifer Teeman.

“My boys were in the same class at Montessori for two years and it was great. They were pretty independent of each other despite being in the same classroom. They learned different things and had their own friends. [But] they looked out for one another, and [didn’t have] sibling rivalry. Now they’re in separate classrooms and I like it that way. As they grow, they want to be their own person and have their own space.” — Jen B.

The Bottom Line

You know your children’s personalities best and can asses whether they’re more likely to flourish or flounder if they attend the same school. For some parents, a combination of both may work best, for example, keeping siblings together in a mixed-age classroom for the preschool years and then separating them to foster independence and minimize competitiveness.

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