Powerful Photo Shows Adopted Boy, Grandfather Bonding Over Disability
A photograph of a 4-year-old boy bonding with his adoptive grandfather over the fact that each was born with only one hand comes with an inspiring backstory — and serves as a touching testament to the power of feeling understood.
The image above shows the boy, Kirill, as he meets his grandfather, Chris Facey, for the first time in September. Kirill, who was born in Kazakhstan, was put up for adoption there by his biological parents when he was just 20 days old, reports CBC News in Canada. He lived in an orphanage, where several local couples declined to adopt him because he was missing his right hand.
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Meanwhile, in the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labrador, Lesley and Doug Facey were in the midst of pursuing a foreign adoption and were presented with Kirill as an option. They were both thrilled and undeterred — especially because Doug’s father, Chris, had also been born missing one of his hands, and had lived an active, successful life.
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“It’s never stopped Dad from doing what he wants to do, from sports to business to family to whatever,” Doug told CBC News. (Yahoo Parenting was unable to reach Doug Facey directly in time for this story.)
Kirill and his adoptive parents, Doug and Lesley Facey. (Photo: CBC News)
When the prospective parents received the photo of Kirill back in March, they were anxious to share it with Doug’s dad. “I turned the screen for him to see the picture and all he did was point at the screen and say, ‘He’s like me.’ And you could see the tears,” Doug recalled.
The couple said that, at the orphanage, staffers could not understand why they were going through with the adoption. “They kept emphasizing throughout the process, 'Do you really want a child with one hand?’” Doug said. But they had already made up their minds.
“How could I sit there and say 'This is going to be a problem,’ when you’re looking at this man who’s been to the Paralympics,” Lesley said of her father-in-law. “He’s a great philanthropist in the city, he’s a very successful businessman. He’s the absolute perfect role model to show that this is not a disability, that he can do whatever he sets out to do, there’s nothing going to hold him back.”
Kirill being matched with the Faceys was a beautiful stroke of luck for the boy, particularly considering that his story — of being passed over in the orphanage because of his special needs — is common around the world.
“The majority of prospective adoptive families prefer the youngest children and those without known additional needs,” Nicole Skellenger, executive director of MLJ Adoptions, an Indiana-based organization that helps prepare and support adoptive families, tells Yahoo Parenting. “There are many children in need of families through international adoption with special needs, in part because these children are less likely to be adopted in their country of origin. In some countries, a child with special needs may be stigmatized. It is also the case that adoptive families in the country may not feel they have the resources to care for a child with additional needs.”
Kirill and his grandfather. (Photo: CBC News)
Regarding employees of orphanages being discouraging, Skellenger says that’s not unheard of. “It can and does happen that an orphanage worker or others question a family’s decision to adopt a child with special needs,” she says. “Often these questions come from a place of curiosity or cultural differences rather than malice.”
For Kirill, having a new grandfather who shares the same unique physical quality is an added bonus to his having been adopted by loving parents. When the two first met at the airport in Canada, Chris recalled, "I went over and knelt in front of him and I just stuck out my hand. [Kirill] was sort of taken aback and he reached out with his stump and he touched mine.”
Chris said that his son posted the photo in a private Facebook group, and it received a large and loving response, with one particular comment that stuck with Chris: “‘He now knows that he’s not alone.’” Added the grandfather: “It’s a love story — a couple who couldn’t have a child found a child that didn’t have parents, and was looking for someone to love.”
(Top photo: Brian Scott)
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