Parents Fight Bullying App With Messages of Love
Moms flooded their kids’ Mean Girls-inspired Burnbook app with cheerleading and managed to turned the tide of hatefulness among teens this week. Photo by YouTube.
Cyberbullying on the smartphone app Burnbook got so intense recently for North Pocono High School students in Pennsylvania that their parents stepped in — literally — to help.
A bunch of local mothers inserted themselves into the anonymous dialogue on the location-specific, social-media community with messages of positivity and acceptance in an aim to drown out the hate being spewed between their kids. Since early this week, the app has been flooded with uplifting notes including, “Good morning our beautiful children! Love, NP Mom!!” and “NP parents and teachers want you to be the best you can be!!!! Be kind to each other!!!” reports WNEP. Also in the mix was a call to action for teens to support each other: “Hope all of you have a wonderful day and are well rested! Remember to be positive! [Heart] NP Moms & Dads.”
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And it’s working, North Pocono Superintendent Bryan McGraw tells Yahoo Parenting. “We’ve seen our community rallying together,” says the administrator, who had urged parents to speak with their kids about bullying on Burnbook over the weekend according to WNEP. “Things have changed in that we’ve kind of united as a group, which is a really great thing. And all the credit goes to those parents for saying, ‘This is not going to happen in our school.’ Now kids have jumped into it and are not only saying positive things online but in school too. I hope it continues.”
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The moms’ mobilization comes on the heels of a similar movement in Texas, where Princeton High School was locked down last week after a student used Burnbook to threaten school gun violence. Concerned parents checked out the app after hearing the news and began posting positive messages. “If it’s going to be hard to get rid of the app, then maybe we should try to deter the kids from being on there,” parent Jamee Cook told NBCFW of the program, used for another violent school threat in Oregon the same week. “If their parents are on there and they know that there are a lot of parents on there, then they’re going to be less likely to get on the app and post things that they know we’re reading.”
But it’s not the monitoring that makes the most impact, says cyber-bullying expert Joel Haber. It’s the cheerleading. “Positive messages are a great counter to negativity, absolutely,” Haber, a clinical psychologist specializing in bullying prevention, tells Yahoo Parenting. “It creates positive gossip and fosters the idea that inclusion is fun.” He also points out that bullying at its root is about isolating individuals. The moms’ messages “aren’t a cure,” he adds. “But they can get people to think differently.”
Such campaigns have proven effective in the past, Cyberbullying Research Center co-director Justin W. Patchin tells Yahoo Parenting. “There are examples of situations where people, kids especially, responded to cruelty with kindness in ways that have minimized bullying and harassment,” says the author of Words Wound: Delete Cyberbullying and Make Kindness Go Viral.
Comments that acknowledge and legitimize cyberbullying as hurtful are the most helpful. “That type of remark tells the community, ‘We know this hate is wrong and we stand with the person being targeted,’ especially if someone is being named,” says Patchin. “So instead of that person feeling ganged up on, they feel that friends have their back.”
The best way to help kids experiencing cyberbullying, though, is to talk with them and learn about what’s going on in their world. “Those targeted often feel alone, like no one understands the harm,” he says. “People tell you to ignore it but it is a pretty big deal so it’s important to acknowledge the hurtfulness and work with the school, if it’s a school issue, to address what’s happening.” Then look at where your kids are going online. “Pull up the apps and see what people are posting,” advises Patchin. “Have a conversation with your child about what the app is to learn more about it and get a sense of what he or she is facing on a day-to-day basis.”
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