Mom’s Hilarious Message to College Son: ‘Remember Me? I Gave You Life!'
No news is not good news to West Chester, Penn., mother of four Ann Pinto McCarney.
When her 18-year-old son, Liam, didn’t call her for more than three weeks after he left home for his freshman year at college, she let the 18-year-old have it in a riotous Facebook video. And thanks to the sassy snark in the drama teacher’s monologue — which she introduced on her page Wednesday evening, noting that “a Mamma’s gotta call him out!” — the nearly five-minute video has gone viral, with 500,000 views and counting.
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“Do you remember me?” the 46-year-old says into the camera. “I’m your mommy. I gave birth to you. Well, actually, I didn’t quite give birth. I had to have a C-section to get you out. Big scar and hurt like hell. But that’s OK. Do you remember that was me that gave you life?“
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And after a bit more ribbing about how he should be able to recall her, with hints that she’s the woman who made him all of his lunches for 18 years and the one who sat through his outrageously long black-belt karate test, McCarney then shows him how to use a phone. “I need to give you the benefit of the doubt,” she mocks. “Maybe you haven’t forgotten me. Maybe you’ve forgotten how to use a phone."
Even now that her lecture has been viewed by half a million people, she has no regrets about ribbing on her son so publicly. “As soon as I gave birth and got stretch marks,” she told NBC 10, “I figured I had a right to torture him as much as I want.” (The mother didn’t respond to Yahoo Parenting’s request for comment.)
And the stunt worked, by the way. McCarney said her son called her the day after she posted the video. “Sending your child off to college is so bittersweet to begin with,” she said, getting serious with NBC 10. “There’s a combination of your heart is soaring and swelling with pride and yet it’s breaking at the same time. So when you let them go like that, you don’t want to feel like you’ve been completely erased from their life.”
But teen behavior expert Josh Shipp says that McCarney’s son’s radio silence is actually a good thing. “It means he is being a grownup,” he tells Yahoo Parenting. When living away from home for the first time, teens like Liam “are establishing their independence,” he explains. “They are taking care of their business, figuring things out, and not relying on you to solve their quandaries. They are taking responsibility and solving their own problems. Congrats! It means you’ve raised an adult.”
What parents should expect from their loved ones starting out in college is a quick check-in, nothing more. “Kids are spinning a lot of plates as they go off to college, so they tend to drop the plates that present the least risk — that is the plate that loves them unconditionally, and the plate of calling home,” says Shipp. “Remember they are adjusting to college life; living on their own, feeding themselves, managing their schedule, doing their laundry, classes, homework, social life, maybe a job, extracurricular activities, and the list goes on and on.”
If a parent is feeling antsy about being out of touch, Shipp advises texting with a brief request for a 10-minute chat. “It’s ideal to put the ball in their court and put them at ease that it doesn’t have to be a one-hour phone call or nothing,” he says. “Also if you want them to continue to call you, be brief and supportive when you’re on the phone. Don’t interrogate them or nag.”
McCarney admitted that her son does text, in fact, and that from what she and her husband can discern from the “one-word answers” to their questions, he’s fine. “I’m truly hoping that in college,” she joked, “they teach him to complete a sentence.”
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