Military ‘Brothers’ Rally Around Young Family Facing Tough Obstacles

In the past six months, Tommy Walker and Amanda Goldman, a married couple in Carrboro, N.C., have had to dig deep to keep their faith. Their baby girl is fighting for her life after being born 15 weeks early on Sept. 10, and the support they’ve found from some brand-new friends — people whom Walker already calls brothers — is helping to keep them afloat. Now, in honor of Veteran’s Day, the young family is sharing its challenging and inspiring story.

Walker, 21, enlisted in the Army on April 23, and four days later, Goldman, 23, told him she was pregnant. “She handed me a gift bag with the What to Expect book for fathers inside,” Walker tells Yahoo Parenting. “When I turned back to look at her, she had a ‘Baby on Board’ sticker on her shirt.” The couple had been trying for a baby for 18 months, and Walker was ecstatic, hugging Goldman and crying with joy. “It felt like another step forward in our life,” says the former auto mechanic, who enlisted in the Army because he “wanted to give back to the country that has provided me with the freedoms I have.”

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On May 4, Walker left for basic training in Fort Benning, Ga., where he spent the summer mainly out of contact — no cellphones allowed. Goldman, who also has a 5-year-old son named Cole from a previous relationship, wrote to Walker several times a week. “I made sure to include things about the pregnancy,” she tells Yahoo Parenting. “Anything that happened at a doctor’s appointment, how I was feeling, how big the baby was that week.” When Walker was home for one weekend in July for a short break in training, Goldman told him they were having a little girl.

The new Army private graduated from Advanced Individual Training for his military occupational specialty, infantry, in late August and came home for 10 days before leaving for his assignment at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, near Tacoma, Wash. “I was able to go to just one doctor’s appointment,” Walker tells Yahoo Parenting. “On Aug. 31, and I got to hear Emma’s heartbeat. It was amazing.”

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Six days later, the night before Walker was due to fly to Washington, where Goldman and Cole were eventually to join him, Goldman’s water broke. “I was out to dinner with a friend, and Amanda texted me that she woke up from a nap and had ‘gushed’ fluid,” Walker recalls. “I rushed home and took her to the hospital at UNC, where they confirmed her water had broken. I was scared that we would lose Emma, and angry that I had to leave the next morning.”

Walker flew out early in the morning with Goldman still in the hospital while her parents took care of Cole. Doctors tried to keep Emma from being born for as long as possible, but Goldman started having contractions in just three days. “They were noticing dips in Emma’s heart rate,” says Goldman. “Then the contractions started coming hard every three or four minutes, and I texted Tommy that I thought our baby might be born soon.”

Baby Emma (Photo: Amanda Goldman)

A few minutes after that text was sent, doctors lost Emma’s heart rate. Worried, they rushed Goldman into an emergency C-section. “I was so scared,” says Goldman, who was just 25 weeks pregnant at that point. “I was shaking and crying and so upset that Tommy was going to miss her being born. And I was terrified that Emma wasn’t going to live.”

Emma had only a 40 percent chance of surviving delivery, but she made it through. “She had a bleed in her brain and an infection and a problem with a valve in her heart,” explains Goldman, who was wheeled by Emma on her way to recovery. In that moment, though the baby was tiny and bandaged and connected to machines, Goldman stopped and took in the sight of her newborn daughter. “She was beautiful. I just stared at her until we had to leave, and I snapped a picture for Tommy.”

When Walker got the texts and then a call from Goldman’s mom about the C-section, “my stomach dropped,” he says. An hour later, Goldman told him, “You’re a dad.” Walker says he was excited and upset all at once. “I hate that I missed it, and I was so worried that Emma wasn’t going to make it.” He had gotten to his duty station just three days earlier, but his superiors sent him home immediately.

“My squad leader told everyone I was having issues with my daughter, and he asked them if they prayed to pray for her,” says Walker. “I didn’t expect that — this strong brotherhood I have felt in the Army from the start.”

Photo: Amanda Goldman

Since her birth in September, Emma has been treated for MRSA (a staph infection that is typically resistant to antibiotics), pneumonia, and a collapsed lung. “There has been talk of surgically closing the problem valve in her heart,” says Goldman. “They wanted to do a lumbar puncture two different times, but she’s always too sick to do it. She’s had IVs in both arms, both legs, and even her head.” Between daily blood draws and five antibiotics, one of which is experimental, Emma is still fighting for her life, and there is a possibility of brain damage from the brain bleed.

Goldman spends every day at the hospital with Emma while big brother Cole is in school. “What Cole knows is that Emma can’t come home because she was born early and is too little,” says Goldman. When Cole gets home, mom and son have time together — snack, homework, dinner, bath, and bed. Then Goldman’s parents stay with Cole, and she goes back to the hospital. “I need to be there,” she says. “I discuss Emma’s treatment with the doctors and then sit and talk or sing to her for a while.”

Texts and Facebook messages from friends, plus gift cards for a nearby Starbucks and, of course, talking to Walker, all help Goldman get through the days. “The nights are hard,” she admits. “I hate how sick Emma is and that I can’t bring her home. I’m so tired from running around and getting up every few hours to pump breast milk. And I miss Tommy. Everything we’re going through doesn’t seem as bad when he’s home and here to get bad news with me and hold me at the end of the day.”

Walker is back on base out West, but he’s been home twice — once just after Emma was born and again in October when it looked like she might not make it. “It’s a struggle to be away from them,” he says, “but I manage to focus on my job, which for now is a lot of paperwork and physical training every day.”

And Walker has found what he calls an “incredible community of support” in his new Army family. “Everyone texts and messages me about Emma,” he says. “People drive me to and from the airport when I need to get back to North Carolina, and my brothers have shared their own stories and told family and friends — even whole church congregations — about our needs.”

Although the family of four is covered under Walker’s insurance, there are many bills that go beyond that coverage. “We plan to save any money we can until Emma comes home in case she needs some kind of physical or mental special-needs care,” says Goldman. She adds, quietly, “If she doesn’t make it home, we plan to use it for medical bills.”

One childhood friend, Robert Blake Chambers, who had been in the Army for a few years and was influential in Walker’s enlisting, set up a GoFundMe page for baby Emma, along with his wife Karli. “We’ve experienced nothing but love and support from everyone we know and lots of people we don’t,” says Goldman. Many of Walker’s military friends have shared the page and donated — and they all offer hopeful wishes and prayers for Emma.

Walker recently posted this message of gratitude on Facebook:

For now, this new military family is taking things day by day, hopeful that they’ll all have a holiday season together, even if it is in a hospital. “When Emma was born, they told us not to expect her home before her due date, which was Christmas Day,” says Goldman. “With all of the complications since then, last I heard they were talking about February. Honestly, I’m just hoping she makes it home. My greatest hope is that she can live a full, normal life. We need a miracle — she’s really sick.”

To help this family, visit Emma’s GoFundMe page.

(Full disclosure: Tommy Walker is the nephew of this story’s author, Melissa Walker.)

(Top photo: Amanda Goldman)

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