Ivanka on Growing Up With Donald Trump, How He’s an ‘Incredible’ Role Model to Grandkids

Ivanka Trump is a busy woman. In addition to working full-time as executive vice president of development and acquisitions at the Trump Organization, she spearheads the #WomenWhoWork initiative, founded the Ivanka Trump Collection, is an entrepreneur, a mother of two young children — and is expecting her third in two short months. Trump spoke to Yahoo Parenting about why she doesn’t like the “having it all” conversation, how her husband, real estate developer Jared Kushner, is a hands-on dad, and how her father, Donald Trump, has been an “incredible” role model for her children. Ivanka, who spoke to Yahoo Parenting the day before the Jan. 28 Republican debate, which her dad has bowed out of, does joke, though, that her kids are still too young to really know much about his presidential run. But that doesn’t mean he’s not priming them to follow in his footsteps: Between summers spent together at their New Jersey golf club, driving around the streets of New York City with 4-year-old Arabella, and teaching her how to point out potholes, the grandpa is “really, really amazing with the kids,” she says.

Yahoo Parenting: How are you feeling this pregnancy?
Ivanka Trump: I feel great. Our house is in a constant state of chaos but I feel great. Arabella is very excited [too]. Joseph is less excited and is now just constantly reminding me that he’s my baby. … He’s very excited though that I moved him in to share a bedroom with his sister. They’re thick as thieves and it’s the most fun thing to ever have happened to them in their lives.

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Photo: Instagram/Ivanka Trump

You’ve spoken often about hating the “Can you have it all?” question. Why does it bother you so much?
It implies that there’s only one right way to live your life, and that’s just not true. Having it all means different things to different people. In the arc of our own lives, even, we have different priorities at different times. What’s incredibly important and fulfilling today is very different from what I thought was important and fulfilling at 22. So the definition of happiness and fulfillment evolves. You have to discover for yourself what your priorities are and what’s important to you. That’s how I like to think about my life.

STORY: Donald Trump’s Troubled Brother: When One Sibling Doesn’t Fit In

What’s your priority right now?
It’s really the individual time with each of them, spending one-on-one time with them. … Arabella loves reading. Joseph always wants to play with cars and trains with me on the floor. I make sure each day I spend like 30 minutes doing something with each kid.

Photo: Abbey Drucker

What’s the secret to balancing that priority with your career demands?
I think about balance only through the lens of scheduling. If I’m away from the kids two nights in a row, I won’t schedule a dinner out the night I’m home. … And I try to be really reflective of how I spend my time and think back at the end of the week and ask myself questions about it. If my kids need me, I’m with them. They’re my top priority, and I’m unequivocal about that, but it doesn’t mean that they’re always the only thing I focus on.

How do you make that happen, though?
I’m thinking about life in slightly longer increments than making sure everything is right every minute of the day. [It’s about making] sure you’ve orchestrated and set up life in a way that you’re actually where you want to be. I feel like I’m getting better at that. Part of it is a bit of experience. I was much more reactive and critical of myself with Arabella. By the time Joseph was born, I became a little less critical of myself because I had the comfort of knowing I had created a solid bond with my daughter and I could create that relationship. Hopefully that will continue.

Photo: Instagram/Ivanka Trump

What does your time with the kids look like?
Because I can’t be there for everything, I focus on the high-impact moments as a family, the traditions. For me, that’s being there at the anchors of the day. I almost never have plans in the evening. I go to dinner later. It enables me to read to the kids and put them to bed prior to going back to work or out to dinner or to a workout. Mornings are very important to us and we have breakfast together. Weekends, I almost never schedule things.

Photo: Instagram/Ivanka Trump

I also think, as family, it’s really fun for us to develop our own traditions and activities. In fall we’ll go apple picking then make apple pie and give apples away to soup kitchens. … In winter we try to take the kids skiing, the train show, the Nutcracker. The circus is always coming to New York. And every summer we go with Arabella’s cousins to the ballet. Joseph is going to his first monster truck show. He’s very excited about that.

Sounds like you’re pretty intentional about the family bonding.
I spend a lot of time thinking about what kind of traditions we want to keep as a family. I keep lists of the things we’ve done that would be fun to do again. I try to repeat the ones the kids enjoy. [That’s because] working as much as I do, it’s really important to be engaged with the kids when I’m there.

Photo: Instagram/Ivanka Trump

What do you do for childcare?
We have a nanny. I’m very grateful to her. I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without knowing my children are well cared for by a loving, warm, capable person. That’s critical.

And how do you and your husband split parenting duties?
Jared is incredible, so hands-on, and an amazing father … and he accepts any form of delegation I send his way. During weekdays I’m more present — he’s often working later into the evenings — but during the weekend we’re always together as a family. But he’s actually taught me a lot about parenting. When Arabella was younger, I’d try to focus on what I wanted to do with her. I’d come home from work and be so tired I’d be like, “Cuddle with me!” but she’d be running around and not interested. I learned from watching Jared that you have to really subrogate yourself to play with them in a meaningful way. You can’t force someone to color if they’re not interested.

Ivanka and Dad then. (Photo: Time Life Collection/Getty Images)

What traditions did you do with your father and family growing up?
Lots centered around the holidays: Thanksgiving together, cutting down trees at Christmas. We just had a lot of things that we’d do as a group, different games we’d play inside and outside.

And now. (Photo: Jaime McCarthy/Getty Images)

Are there things that your father did or said raising you that you find yourself doing now as a parent?
My father always encouraged us to come into the office and experience what it is he does every day and is passionate about, and I think that’s why my siblings and I are involved in the Trump Organization and are working in real estate. His passion and enthusiasm ultimately became infectious for us. So, instead of compartmentalizing my work and home, I love when Arabella and Joseph come into the office. … Arabella and I have had weekly lunch dates. I think involving them in a natural way into my passions is important. Now Arabella knows her way around a floor plan, the color coding. I think it’s really fun to expose them to the cool things I do.

Photo: AP Photo

Do your children know that Grandpa is running for president?
The kids are a little bit young to pick up on that, but they love him.

He’s gotten flak for disparaging comments he’s made about women. What kind of a role model would you say your dad is to his granddaughter?
Incredible. He’s really, really amazing with the kids. They see him most weekends during the summer. We’re together in New Jersey with one of our golf clubs. They spend a lot of time rolling around with him on golf carts. They adore him. It was funny, I was walking down the street with Arabella and she saw a large pothole and said, “Mom, Grandpa would not like that!” She gets that from driving around with him. I just thought that was such a cute comment. [Because of him,] she’s paying attention to New York City infrastructure!

(Top photo: Instagram/Ivanka Trump)

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