How I Kept My Pregnancy a Secret on My Reality Show
Nadine Jolie Courtney kept her pregnancy – and the birth of her daughter, Aurelia, now 6 months old – secret until after her Bravo reality show, Newlyweds: The First Year, ended its season in May. (All Photos: Nadine Jolie Courtney)
When my new husband and I decided to take part in a Bravo reality show that filmed our first year of marriage, certain things were a given:
1) We’d attract haters on social media.
2) Strangers would be convinced they knew all about us based off what they saw on TV.
3) Until the show aired, we’d be keeping plot points secret.
Keeping certain details of your life temporarily under wraps for TV isn’t revolutionary: it makes for great television, and allows viewers at home to enjoy the surprise of a big reveal.
But when I got pregnant during filming, I realized I was in for a massive undertaking. You see, I’m a blogger — and oversharing is my thing. The realization that I’d be keeping my pregnancy secret from social media until the show aired was scary … but a challenge I was equal to.
I resolved that I wasn’t going to stay off social media entirely: I’d just need to get visually creative. If 1950s movie stars could hide pregnancies with strategic coats and oversized bags, so could I!
Here’s how I did it, with my private photos on the left, and my public Instagrams on the right.
ONE MONTH PREGNANT
For the first few months of your pregnancy, you don’t look pregnant; more like you ate a really big hamburger. Keeping it secret is only difficult because of how you feel: exhausted, nauseated, and ready to snap at anybody who looks at you the wrong way.
TWO MONTHS PREGNANT
Still not rocking much in the way of a tummy here, but just in case, we rushed to shoot publicity photos before the belly grew.
Month two was notable for several less-than-glorious reasons: hormonal mood-swings; a weird taste in my mouth; an aversion to everything but vegetables and pasta; and constipation. Dear god, the constipation. (There should be an entire chapter devoted to this in every baby book.)
THREE MONTHS PREGNANT
You see that face on the left? That is the face of somebody really tired who cannot be bothered with the one-upmanship blackboard-art photoshoots that pregnant women are expected to take. I was like, “Let’s grab a magic marker and a piece of paper and call it a day. I have couches to go be exhausted on.”
Above on the right: I’m holding a prop glass of champagne to throw social media followers off the scent.
FOUR MONTHS PREGNANT
The second trimester is the magical trimester.
You finally look pregnant, it’s not a secret anymore (so you now have an explanation for why you’re running to the bathroom every .5 seconds), and you’re no longer so exhausted that you want to fall asleep at 6:59 p.m. every night.
The lack of secrecy also means you can now play the “Pregnancy Card.” Long line for the bathroom? “Excuse me: pregnant lady coming through!” Friends being coy about who gets the last piece of shared appetizer? I need it: for the baby. Husband neglecting you? Hey, those feet aren’t going to rub themselves!
For me, this was the beginning of photo creativity. My bump was small but growing quickly – so I started posting Instagram photos from the waist up.
FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT
The above two photos were taken on the same day, within a couple hours of each other. Elastic waist dresses = godsend.
New development this month: hemorrhoids. Enjoy.
SIX MONTHS PREGNANT
Introducing: props. I started hiding behind things – like my purse, big hair, and bad lighting.
SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT
Home stretch! With my belly impossible to miss, my Instagram photos have now become face-only shots, like me and my cuppa joe. (I later find out that my husband has been ignoring my half-caf requests and secretly ordering me decaf.)
EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT
More props. My husband bought me a giant bag for my birthday, which was perfect for holding in front of my XXL tummy.
NINE MONTHS PREGNANT
Reintroducing: exhaustion! I stopped wearing makeup and started air-drying my hair because: laziness. The one time I put on makeup and blew my hair straight, I took 10,000 photos to memorialize it.
TEN MONTHS PREGNANT
Everybody thinks pregnancies are nine months long, but this is a fat pile of hot stinking garbage. Unless you pop that puppy out a week early (fully-cooked at 39 weeks but still smaller than if remaining checked into Hotel Mommy), you’re closer to 10 months when you deliver.
And when you’re 10 months pregnant, there’s no hiding the fact that you look like the Michelin Man. I posted an Instagram photo of the sunset we watched before heading to the hospital instead.
POST-PREGNANCY
Yes, it was a weird experience, but looking back, I’m actually grateful for the privacy.
In our society, if you don’t share it, it’s almost as if you didn’t live it – and I’m as guilty of that mentality as anybody. Rather than thinking about my next adorable Facebook baby photo album, I had a few precious months to find my footing as a mother and to work my way through breastfeeding struggles and postpartum depression challenges. As a result, it was quietly lovely and privately transformative.
I loved filming the show and would do it again in a heartbeat. But keep my next baby secret? No way. I’ll be sharing from day one!
Blog: nadinejoliecourtney.com
Instagram: @nadinejoliecourtney
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