As Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn Split She Says Kids Hold ‘Special Place’ In Her Heart
Lindsey Vonn announced on Sunday that she and Tiger Woods broke up, noting that she’ll always treasure him and “his beautiful family.” (Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Three years after they began dating, Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn have split. “I will always cherish the memories that we’ve created together,” the Olympic gold medal skier wrote on Facebook Sunday announcing their breakup, which she described as mutual and due to their “incredibly hectic lives” that left them apart the majority of their time together. “[Woods] and his beautiful family,” she continued, “will always hold a special place in my heart.”
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Lindsey Vonn joined Sam Woods, 8, and Charlie Woods, 6, at dad Tiger Woods’ April 8 tournament. (Photo: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images).
Just a month ago, Vonn was photographed embracing Woods’ two children — from his marriage to Elin Nordegren: daughter Sam, 8, and son Charlie, 6 — and sharing a laugh with them as they helped caddy for their daddy at the Masters Tournament in Augusta, Georgia.
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Such closeness after years together begs the question: How do you break up with the kids as you say farewell to their father or mother?
Yahoo Parenting asks Jenn Mann née Berman — psychotherapist and author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids, and host of VH1’s Couple’s Therapy — for the biggest “Do’s” and “Don’ts” for parents and kids during this tough transition.
Breaking the news
Do: Let the mom or dad take the lead in a one-on-one talk with each child, regardless of their age. “The parent is supposed to be the safe person, the rock in regards to the kids so he or she should be the source of the information,” says Mann.
Don’t: Disappear. The departing party should still discuss the impending change with the children. “Kids form attachment bonds to the girlfriend/boyfriend and the message you want to make clear to them,” says Mann, “is that I still care about you.”
Helping kids understand
Do: Make sure children know that this is not their fault. “It’s so important to have empathy for the kids because the breakup is hard for them too,” adds Mann. “Help them process their feelings by telling them that they can feel free to talk about it with you even if they’re angry or disappointed or upset with you and/or their parent.”
Don’t: Share details about the breakup. “It’s not their business who did what and why this is happening,” says Mann. “They don’t need to know what you fought about. Sharing that information is not only inappropriate but it can burden kids and provoke anxiety.”
Maintaining contact
Do: “You want to phase out the person leaving the kids’ lives — unless he or she wants to maintain contact and you agree that it’s appropriate for your family,” says Mann, advising against total cutoff. “This is especially important so kids don’t feel abandoned. Remember you’re talking about children who have likely gone through a divorce already or another situation in which they’ve suffered the loss of a parent figure. They are especially vulnerable to developing abandonment issues.” Her advice? Have your ex talk to your kids on the phone periodically and spend time with them (1-hour max) doing an activity they enjoy once a week.
Don’t: Make visits a reunion with your ex. “Happy family” time with the kids along with your ex would be too confusing, says Mann. “It may fuel hope that you’re getting back together.”
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