3 Lessons to Learn From the Woman Who Nearly Delivered Her Own Baby in a Car
Photo: Chelsey Allder/The Deseret News/AP Photo
Every woman likes to think she’s a supermom, working in and out of the home, raising tomorrow’s future and all, but we’ve got nothing on Mantua, Utah mother-of-three Devi Mariah Ostler. The 32-year-old woman nearly delivered her own baby while driving herself to the hospital solo on Saturday.
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“I knew the baby was coming and it doesn’t help to panic,” Ostler said at a press conference on Sunday, revealing that she called 911 when labor began and that her water broke during the call, while she sped down Interstate 15. “So, I just stayed calm and said, ‘Well, if I deliver it on my own then I deliver it on my own. If somebody gets here, somebody gets here. The baby is here. There’s not much more I can do about it.’”
Photo: Chelsey Allder/The Deseret News/AP Photo
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Ostler pulled over on the side of the highway near the town of Willard and was listening to a dispatcher instruct her on how to hold the baby’s head, when a Utah Highway Patrol trooper and local police chief arrived. Less than 60 seconds later, Ostler welcomed a baby boy (unnamed as of latest reports) weighing in at 9.9 pounds.
Even more impressive than Ostler’s pain threshold was the way she showed off three essential mothering skills: She kept her cool, she asked for help, and she focused on the big picture. Here’s what every mom can learn from Ostler.
Keep your cool among chaos.
Ostler was calm and straightforward, especially when telling the dispatcher that she was “trying to get over into the other lane — I need to push,” as heard on the 911 tape. “This woman is brilliant,” Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD., a professor of pediatrics at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, tells Yahoo Parenting. “She used self-talk to calm herself down and that’s so important.” Chances are, you won’t be faced with the stress of a baby barreling out of you at the same time you’re barreling down the highway, but Ostler’s grace under pressure is an example for anyone with misbehaving kids. “Take deep slow breaths and say to yourself, ‘I can handle this,’” advises Ginsburg. “’Deep breathing’ is not some cute little phrase,” he adds. “It literally works to stop our anxiety and shift blood from the panic center of your brain to the thinking center.” So when your child is having a tantrum and it’s starting to make you see red, pause, breathe and ask yourself, ‘Will this issue be solved in a week?’ If the answer is, ‘Yes,’ tell yourself, ‘This too shall pass,’ says Ginsburg. “So much of parenting is learning to turn off our reactive buttons.”
Photo: Chelsey Allder/The Deseret News/AP Photo
Ask for help
Care.com’s “Working Moms Tipping Point” survey reveals that one in four cry alone at least once a week due to household-related stress – but 29 percent of these women refuse to hire outside help because they feel guilty about not being able to manage themselves. Not Ostler. She enlisted her mother to help watch her 6-year-old son when the contractions started. And when the labor increased mid-drive, she called for help. “Motherhood requires incredible sacrifices of self,” family therapist Paul Hokemeyer, PhD., tells Yahoo Parenting. “It frequently asks mothers put the well being of another human being before their own. But in this process, mothers tend to lose sight of the fact that it’s a gift to allow others to pitch in and help. True generosity requires that one receive as well as give. It is important for women to
speak up and ask for help.”
Focus on the big picture
In the middle of agonizing pain, Ostler, somehow, was able to have control over the situation. This certainly wasn’t the way she’d planned to give birth, but as Ostler explained, “There’s not much more I can do about it.’” Keeping sight of an end-game when it comes to raising kids is “critically important” too, says Hokemeyer. “I advise my parents to come up with a simple mission statement. Something like, ‘I want my children to be self- sufficient and content with their lives.’ Then, when the challenges of childrearing arise, acknowledging the bigger picture will help parents have perspective.”
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