Woody Paige: Ailing Broncos country turns its lonely eyes to new ownership group for answers

Dec. 6—Our Dusty Old Cowtown's NFL franchise should be called the National Western Laughingstock Show.

Christmas season may be the saddest for Waltons since the fictional Walton family sent out John-Boy in 1933 to search for his missing father.

During these unhappy holidays the factual Waltons-Penners own a $4.65 billion football team that is about to have a 3-10 record and another zero chance to be in the NFL playoffs.

'Tis 18 days before Christmas, and all through Denver, nobody wants to remember this December.

The Broncos have lost four in a row and eight of their last nine games. They haven't won in the United States since Sept. 25. They haven't won anywhere since the day before Halloween. Sunday they will be 0-4 in division games and 2-8 in conference games.

No previous Denver AFL or NFL team has lost 13 or 14 games in one season. Nathaniel Hackett, George Paton and the Walton-Penner-Rice-Hobson-Hamilton Group could set the franchise's most dubious record.

"Star Wars" creator George Lucas, the husband of Mellody Hobson, must be thinking: "Thank goodness I'm not involved. I suffered with 'Attack Of The Clones.' "

Hello, Greg Penner, who is chairman of the board of Walmart and CEO of the bored Broncos Country.

Penner hasn't uttered a public phrase since addressing a few reporters at a London pub and admitting that the then 2-5 record was "not the start we were looking for. It's been disappointing so far. We had really high expectations coming in. We still have high expectations. Our fans have expectations of us. And we're not where we need to be. So that's the challenge as we go into the second half of the season."

Grate expectations. The Broncos barely beat the Jags (who are now 4-8), but nobody since.

The past weekend was Prime Time in Colorado. Next Monday must be Penner Time. He must speak.

Enough of Hackett reiterating that the Broncos are experiencing third-down problems, massive injuries and failures to score touchdowns while the coach has become merely a sideline bystander.

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The Red Zone Zombies, Special Team Trolls and the late defensive breakdowns have been significant reasons for the Broncos scoring 9 points in three games, 10 points twice, 11 once, 16 four times, 21 and 23.

The Broncos wouldn't score one point in a World Cup or a pickleball match. Could they defeat the Jackson State Tigers or the Colorado School of Mines Orediggers?

W.W.P.D.? What would Pat Do? Bowlen would get rid of all the rascals.

W.W.P.D.? What will Penner do? We'll know in another month after the Broncos finish a season that challenges the entire 1960s teams and be worse than the Josh McDaniels, Vance Joseph and Vic Fangio era errors.

Penner showed up at a recent practice, and, according to Hackett, is communicating with the head coach regularly. Penner is holding high-level meetings with Paton, but is not having discussions with the holders of two Broncos' season tickets any more often than he is with holders of two shares of Walmart stocks.

Penner said then: "At the end of the day, we have to win for (the fans)."

But, toward the last month of the season, here are the questions we have for Penner:

— Having any upcoming orange-and-blue light specials?

— How soon after the season is completed will you fire Hackett?

— Will any of the assistant coaches other than Ejiro Evero be retained, and who in the world are Brad Miller and John Vieira? Isn't there a special special teams coach anywhere? Would you consider bringing back Mike Munchak as the offensive line coach and Bill Kollar as the defensive line coach?

— How soon after the season will you fire Paton — who basically traded away two drafts for Russell Wilson and signed the quarterback to a $245 million agreement, gave a $70 million contract to Randy Gregory, who has started 15 games in a six-year career (three this season), brought back Melvin "Flush" Gordon, and hired Hackett instead of other finalists Dan Quinn and Kevin O'Connell?

— Are you willing to eat the money owed to Wilson and release him before next season?

— Would you hire Peyton Manning to run the organization?

— How's your first rodeo, Greg?