Twitter Discusses Alleged 'Armpit Crabs' Epidemic At Bringham Young University

Nick Fenley
·3 min read
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Word on the street is that the campus community at Bringham Young University (BYU) may be dealing with a unique situation related to pediculosis pubis, aka “crabs.”

A Twitter user recently alleged that BYU — a private institution that’s sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka the Mormon Church) — is specifically dealing with an issue related to “armpit crabs.”

For context, “crabs” is most often associated with an infestation of lice in one’s public hair that occurred during sex; however, according to Altmeyers Encyclopedia, the blood-sucking lice can also afflict other areas through close contact, including “hair in the chest and abdominal region.”

“There was an outbreak of armpit crabs at BYU. Sit with me for a moment, and think about how that happened. Have a good day y’all,” the user who spearheaded the conversation coyly tweeted over the weekend.

We should also acknowledge that the user hilariously mentioned how the presumed situation reminded her of a 2006 episode of Family Guy in which the fictional city of Quahog, Rhode Island, grapples with students having “ear sex” in the name of preserving their virginity.

In response, people chimed in to offer accounts that appeared to corroborate the allegation of BYU students having “armpit sex.”

Others seemed a bit put off by the Twitter thread, though.

Another individual took the chance to ask an intriguing question.

This BYU rumor comes just over a year after a TikToker dished on another sexual loophole that’s allegedly employed at the Provo, Utah, institution: “soaking,” which is accomplished with “jump humping.”

“When your bestie is called to soak in a BYU dorm and you have to jump hump for her,” a TikTok user going by @funeralpotatoslut shared.

@funeralpotatoslut Did you know if someone else jumps on the bed, the movement doesn’t count? #notallheros #exmormon #soaking #soaktok #hiatus #backatit #mormonshit#exmo ♬ Wildest Dreams – 🪅

We should note that Urban Dictionary describes “soaking” as “Like ‘planking’ only your d**k is inside of a Mormon,” and “jump humping” is when a third-party jumps on the bed next to the “soakers” in order to create friction to simulate intercourse.

Once the demonstration of “jump humping” went viral, another user going by @exmolex shared further context in a follow-up video and confirmed that it is 100% real and basically a way for chaste Mormons to unleash their sexual urges.

@exmolex y’all are much more invested in this than I bargained for #soaking #exmormon #exmo #exlds #exmormoncommunity #exmormonhumor #excult #lds #mormon #cult ♬ original sound – Exmo Lex

She also let viewers in on another tactic called “durfing,” which is basically just another name for dry humping.

@exmolex Reply to @randihastings durfing leads to soaking, warn everyone #exmormon #exmormoncommunity #exlds #excult #exmormonhumor #mormon #lds #byu #provo ♬ original sound – Exmo Lex

What do you think about the BYU rumor?