Sharon resident organizes picnic for area LGBTQ community

Jun. 27—HERMITAGE — For far too long, Mike Evakich had to live a lie to have the life he thought he wanted.

He wanted to serve his country in the Air Force. He wanted to serve his community as a firefighter.

To do either one, though, he had to hide himself.

"Back in my time, it wasn't acceptable for a firefighter to be a gay man," said Evakich, 57, of Farrell. "It wasn't acceptable to be a U.S. Air Force veteran to be a gay man."

At the time Evakich was serving in the Air Force, gay people were prohibited from serving in the U.S. armed forces. Being exposed would have meant a dishonorable discharge from the military, so he had to conceal that part of himself.

Today, at last living his authentic life, Evakich was among about 40 people who attended Mercer County's first-ever Pride picnic, Sunday at Buhl Park. Pamela Ladner of Sharon, organized the event, which included making or buying rainbow keyrings, bracelets, pinwheels and flags for gift bags that every guest received.

Ladner has been working quietly to support the county's LGBTQ teenagers for the last few years, since her teenage son, Alex, came out as a transgender boy at a difficult time.

"It started when Alex came out during the pandemic," she said. "There was not any support whatsoever."

Ladner started a support group for LGBTQ teens through a Facebook page. The group met for a time in person and later virtually. She noticed that larger communities — including Erie and Pittsburgh — held large Pride events and parades, and wanted something that would be more private and less exposed to potential hostility than a parade. And so the picnic was born.

The event drew teenagers who first discovered their peers from different schools through the Facebook page. Evakich said attending the picnic was personally important as a message of solidarity.

"That's why I'm here," he said. "So these young kids see we get it, not just because we're gay but because we care."

One of those younger kids, 19-year-old Ava Baumgartner of Farrell, said LGBTQ people her age have it a little bit easier than those of Evakich's generation, in part because students are living their authentic lives in school, which opens up opportunities for those following immediately behind.

Baumgartner herself said she made things easier for her LGBTQ siblings when she came out.

But teenagers still face challenges, she said.

"It's way better than back then, but we still need to get stuff done and there are still people who want to hurt us."

Evakich's coming out story is recent history. He remained closeted through a marriage and children, until he was 52 years old, when he met Chuck Decker and fell in love. They're planning to be married.

But Evakich said he spent too much of his life avoiding his truth. While he doesn't regret having children, and is proud of his grandchildren, he is sad about the heartbreak that came from hiding himself.

"It was miserable," he said. "I hurt the woman that I married because I couldn't be myself."