Sharing grief over deceased mothers
May 9—SOUTH ABINGTON TWP. — Lisa Bath was only 6 years old when her mother, Barbara Mamana, died at age 33 in 1974.
Bath, now 53, still grieves.
Last year, the township resident created Moving Forward, a community group for women who have experienced what she calls "mother loss," whether long ago or recently.
"It's meant to be a community of women who share their experiences and make space for grief when everyone says 'move on' and you can't," Bath said. "By acknowledging and sharing what we're dealing with, we give ourselves proper space and time to remember — sometimes in grief, sometimes in celebration."
Started during the COVID-19 pandemic shutdown, Moving Forward meets monthly via Zoom.
On Saturday, about eight participants met in person for the first time, at South Abington Park along Northern Boulevard, where they gathered to each toss a few fresh-cut flowers into Leggetts Creek in memory of their deceased mothers.
Participants also wrote heartfelt messages to their deceased mothers or grandmothers on rice paper and tossed those into the rain-swollen, swiftly flowing creek.
"The idea is they'll flow and move forward through the creek," Bath said of the blossoms and rice-paper messages.
Bath started the group with the support of the Abington Community Library, as part of its adult programming. She figured there must be others who would feel that they could benefit from sharing their grief.
"It's something that's been in my heart to do, to create this community," said Bath, who has two daughters, Sarah, 20, and Grace, 17. "There's a group for everything, but I didn't see this need being met in the community at large, and I needed it."
Mari May of Dunmore joined the group after the death of her mother, Margaret "Peggy" Carrick, on April 2, 2020.
"It was hard because we couldn't have a viewing, a funeral (because of the pandemic). It was very, very difficult. We didn't have closure," May said. "I really struggled with my grief and still do. It's with me all the time and this group understands that."
Bath, who is a teacher at the Abington Heights Middle School, envisioned holding services or events, including a Mother's Day tea or potluck of mothers' recipes, which likely would have drawn small crowds.
"What's your mother's favorite recipe? Cook it. Bring it. There would have been no second thought to doing that before the pandemic," Bath said. Instead, monthly Zoom meetings have had to suffice. A few people have participated virtually at any given time.
But Moving Forward is the kind of sisterhood that cries out for coming together in person, Bath said. She hopes that now as the pandemic eases, the group will flourish.
"I know there's a need out there but enough people don't know about it yet," Bath said.
For information, email Bath at bathlisa@gmail.com.
For links to Zoom meetings held on third Mondays at 7 p.m., email Emily Sandercock at Abington Community Library at esandercock@albright.org.
Contact the writer:
570-348-9100 x5185;
@jlockwoodTT on Twitter.
