Readers and Writers: Teacher and mom explores perils of the internet in 'Are We There Yet?'

Mar. 6—What happens to kids when they get to seventh grade?

Every parent whose formerly sweet child becomes a stranger somewhere around 12 years old will sympathize with Alice Sullivan and Meredith Yoshida in Kathleen West's oh-so-real new novel "Are We There Yet?" Add Snapchat Live, Instagram and other social media to tween life and parenting becomes even harder, especially if mom and dad don't know the kids have hidden accounts where all the stuff really happens.

"The consequences of impulsive behaviors on the internet weren't around when I was growing up, " said West, who grew up in Mendota Heights and turns 43 this month. "When I was in school, somebody would make a mean comment but it was fleeting and disappeared. Now, there is a text message, somebody takes a screen shot, and suddenly it's everywhere in the school. That impacts relationships."

In "Are We There Yet?" (Berkley, $26), the impacted relationships are between Alice and her son Teddy, and Meredith and her daughter Sadie, as well as most of the kids in their seventh-grade class. Teddy and Sadie have known one another all their lives, having attended the same school in a fictional Minneapolis suburb. Teddy's a nice boy, not athletic or popular, and Sadie is a synchronized skater, a member of the Quiz Bowl team and an A student. But when classmate Tane makes the soccer team, Sadie suddenly sees him as sort of cute and she snubs Teddy.

"It's interesting to me how, in cross-gender friendships, things change in middle school and don't work anymore. It's a sad part of growing up," West said in a conversation from her home in the Lowry Hill neighborhood of Minneapolis. "And the moms, who have been friends of convenience (because of their children) suddenly realize maybe they don't share the same values. They are navigating changing friends as adults just as the kids are doing."

Alice, who's trying to make partner in her design firm, is doing her best as a parent with her husband out of town for long stretches to work on court cases. But she does let some things slide, like school-mandated reading with her young daughter every evening. To add to her problems, her mother, Evelyn, reveals that she has found the daughter she gave up years earlier. Alice, also adopted, is not happy about this new sister.

In contrast, Meredith is the perfect mom. She has a subscription to Thinking Mother magazine and lots of rules about healthy eating and 9:30 p.m. bedtime.

When Alice learns that Teddy pulled down Tane's pants in front of the whole class, she can't believe it. Is she turning into one of those "bad moms" like her friend Nadia, who can't control her kids? And to Meredith's disbelief, Sadie sends a picture of her naked breast to Tane because he asks her to, and jealous Teddy spreads the photo all over the school. Soon there's a hashtag war between the boys and the class is divided into #TeamTEDDY and #TeamTANE.

One of the most satisfying things about West's novel is that she treats the youngsters and the grownups with respect. There are no villains here. The kids are not bad, just sometimes thoughtless. Sadie, for instance, didn't take time to think about how her suggestive breast photo would be seen by classmates, or how her dad would avoid her with embarrassment after he saw it.

"Sadie's mom is doing all the right things," West says. "She turns her daughter's phone off at 9 p.m. I had the same software when my kids were younger. When Tane asked for the photo, it was a few minutes before 9 and Sadie doesn't have time to think about consequences. I kind of enjoyed the irony of her making this impulsive decision because her mom was doing the right thing."

West and her husband, Dan, a graduate of the University of Minnesota law school, have two sons who attend The Blake School. Shef is a junior and Mac is in second grade. The family includes a "very poorly behaved" Goldendoodle and a cockapoo "quarantine pup."

"It was always in my mind that I was a writer," West recalls, but she put that dream on hold to pursue her career, marry and have her children. After she graduated from Visitation High School and Macalester College, she taught for 20 years in the Bloomington and Edina school systems, as well as The Blake School.

When Mac was 6 years old, West decided if she wanted to be a writer she had to write a book. "I began getting up before anyone else was awake and wrote," she says. "I did that for three or four years and it worked, except for not getting enough sleep."

Those sleepless nights paid off when her debut novel, "Minor Dramas & Other Catastrophes," was published last year to critical acclaim, including being on at least five national publications' Best Of lists. Like her current novel, it involved the internet and a video that goes viral. Two women — a mother and a teacher — face accusations and gossip. (It's now available in paperback.)

"Minor Dramas ..." hit shelves at just the right time, West says. "The college admissions scandal was in the news and overparenting — helicopter parents — was a popular topic. That was my book, my experience as a teacher. I contributed to that conversation."

West has signed a new, two-book contract, and although she's happy about it, she misses developing relationships with kids as a teacher. Ideally, she'd like to find a 50-50 balance between being in the classroom and writing. She also writes a blog (wordsavvyblog.com), where she reveals things about her family, her teaching career, her amusing fitness endeavors and her daily minor catastrophes.

For now, West is concentrating on her third novel, about a female hockey player who is cut from the Olympic team and how that affects her life.

"I am a hockey mom and I like thinking about sports and the intensity sports bring to modern life and parenting," she said, adding that Shef played the game but is now into running cross-country and track and so is his younger brother, although he also plays hockey.

So it's not surprising that she uses a sports analogy when she's asked about how hard it is to write a third book.

"All books are hard to write," she says. "What gets easier is that I know I can do it because I did it before. It's like when I run a marathon. If you did the distance once, you can do it again. It doesn't make the race any easier, but you know you can get to the finish line."

WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING ABOUT 'ARE WE THERE YET?'

"Soulful and entertaining, this offers plenty of insight on the space children need to make their own mistakes." — Publishers Weekly

"... brings grace, wit, and warmth to a challenging time." — Booklist

TO HEAR THE AUTHOR

— What: Kathleen West reads from "Are We There Yet?" with guest Nora McInerny, Minnesota native and author of "It's OK to Laugh," host of "Terrrible, Thanks for Asking" podcast, and founder of Still Kickin' nonprofit organization.

— When: 7 p.m. Tuesday, March 16

— Details: Presented by Magers & Quinn. Book pre-order required. Go to: magersandquinn.com/events