Power Rankings: Best Thanksgiving dishes
Chris Simms and Tank Williams rank the foods (and beverages) they’re most looking forward to enjoying on Turkey Day.
Video Transcript
[MUSIC PLAYING]
TANK WILLIAMS: All right, Chris. They say you learn a lot about a man by the size he prefers on Thanksgiving Day. So, we're about to go out into a little power rankings on the top three Thanksgiving side dishes. And boy, I'm telling you, if your list isn't compatible to mine, we're going to have some serious issues.
CHRIS SIMMS: Yeah, we'll see. I don't think it's going to be.
TANK WILLIAMS: Probably not.
CHRIS SIMMS: I'm not already sure we're going to be different here. So go ahead.
TANK WILLIAMS: I know you probably got some lame taste buds, but we're about to find out real quick, right. Now number one, we got macaroni and cheese because no Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or any holiday meal is good without macaroni and cheese. At number two, I got collard greens because you need to have a green veggie or something in your meal. I mean, it's too much protein to carbs.
CHRIS SIMMS: I get that.
TANK WILLIAMS: And at number three, it's a 3A and a 3B. Now if we're going straight food, it's going to be broccoli and rice casserole, but if it's my preference, it's vino. Red wine. Zinfandel. Now that's my must, I got to have it with every holiday meal. The vino.
CHRIS SIMMS: I like that vino one. I'm more of like a vodka guy on Thanksgiving, OK, just so we get the drink. I go hard, OK. All right, no macaroni and cheese. I'm sorry, and I know I'm showing my whiteness there, OK.
TANK WILLIAMS: You are. No seasoning whatsoever, bro.
CHRIS SIMMS: No. I am straight-- I'm straight boring, OK?
TANK WILLIAMS: Let me guess, Stove Top Stuffing.
CHRIS SIMMS: I want turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes with gravy on top. That's all I want. And I'm going back for like two and three after that. And it is just more gravy, and stuffing, and at the end of the turkey.
TANK WILLIAMS: Is it at least homemade stuffing, bro?
CHRIS SIMMS: It is homemade stuffing. That is where I go. I know, I'm a picky eater. I'm plain Jane that way.
TANK WILLIAMS: Like, do you even get the 'itis when you at Thanksgiving? Because I feel like the food that you're eating, it doesn't even give you that 'itis where you just sink into the couch and just let all your worries go away and watch ball like, it seems like I would just be upset by the meal that you're eating on turkey day.
CHRIS SIMMS: To make it worse, just to pile on to that, I am a plant-- I want the white meat, OK. I'm just sorry.
TANK WILLIAMS: Oh no, I like the white meat, now. I like the white meat.
CHRIS SIMMS: OK. OK.
TANK WILLIAMS: Yeah, it's cool.
CHRIS SIMMS: OK, I just wanted to make sure.
TANK WILLIAMS: It's cool.
CHRIS SIMMS: All right. Good. And I don't want it too dry. I like it moist, all right?
TANK WILLIAMS: Well hold on, how about we take it back to vino before we wrap so at least we can come together on this holiday season and go out with at least some pleasantries.
CHRIS SIMMS: Yeah. Well, the vino I'll pour it for my mom, and my wife, and my aunt, and my uncles, and all that. But like I said, I'm going straight liquor. And you know--
TANK WILLIAMS: Dog, but we're celebrating the holiday with the family. We ain't going to the club. Now trust me, my drink of choice is vodka rocks with limes, but I don't do that on turkey day.
CHRIS SIMMS: Yeah, that's what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing. No, it's my day off. I'm doing whatever the hell I want to do, OK. And that's what I want to drink. Wine will affect my digestion and won't let me eat as much. I don't know what it is. It sits in my stomach. So that's why I go for the clear liquor because then I just feel like I can eat all day.
TANK WILLIAMS: [LAUGHS]
CHRIS SIMMS: [LAUGHS] That was the best video we did yet. All year.
TANK WILLIAMS: I can't even mess with you anymore, bro.
