People Are Sharing The "Pettiest" Reasons They Couldn't Keep Dating Someone, And They Range From Reasonable To Ridiculous

Recently in a viral thread, redditor u/RAMORAMORA asked, "What is the pettiest reason you can't date someone?" and, WHEW BUDDY, you better believe people came through with break-up stories that ranged from reasonable to ridiculous.

TBS

So buckle the heck up, here are just a few of the most popular stories shared:

1."Only went on one date, but he named his cat 'Creamy,' and the way he said it grossed me out."

u/GoBanana42

2."I ended things with a guy for various other reasons, but the most annoying one was how many times he told me that 'He'd leave me for Miranda Lambert in a heartbeat.' Which okay, I get it some people have a 'list' of celebrities they'd leave their S.O. for — mostly as a joke. But this was, like, everyday. He'd just randomly say it, not related to the conversations we were having at the time, and he meant it. He made sure I understood that — if for some godforsaken reason— Miranda Lambert walked in through the front door, I was gone."

u/Kiasurp17

Recording artist Miranda Lambert performing during the 52nd Academy of Country Music Awards
Ethan Miller / Getty Images

3."I instantly noped out of an otherwise fine blind date once because she ordered apple juice — off-menu — at a fancy restaurant. 19-year-old me only thought of apple juice as a 'toddler's drink,' and I just couldn't get past it. I'm no longer that petty, but I did make the mistake of mentioning this to my wife once many years ago, and now she makes a habit of ordering apple juice whenever we're at a fancy restaurant, just to see if I squirm."

u/pbspry

4."She insisted on hanging out at home, but she lived with like six people, and they always had friends over. I felt like the boyfriend extra on Friends or Seinfeld."

u/NewEnglandRoastBeef

Courteney Cox, Matthew Perry, Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc in a promotional photo from Friends
Warner Bros / ©Warner Bros/Courtesy Everett Collection

5."I once turned a guy down because his bedroom voice had a speech impediment. In public he spoke without one, and, if he had a speech impediment 100% of the time, I would've still dated him. However, it was like he flipped a switch, and —when we were alone to start sexy time — he talked like a 'widdle kid.' He still used big words, full sentences, proper grammar, but didn't pronounce things correctly. I wasn't sure if he was trying a kink, or if that was just him slipping into relaxed mode. My attraction to him immediately dried out, shriveled up, and died when he asked me to 'wide him.' 21-year-old me didn't know how to approach it, so I said I had my period and bailed."

"I felt awful and wondered if he maybe had a speech impediment and I didn't notice (a friend of mine has a stutter and I LITERALLY NEVER KNEW until he told me). I brought this up to friends, and no, he didn't have one that they were aware of...a few weeks later I heard he hooked up with another girl I had lab with. She actually approached me and outright asked, 'Um...okay so...did he ask you to....'wide him?'" It turned out she did actually hook up with him, but she felt icky the whole time."

u/mamblepamble

6."She had the same first name and last name as my grandpa."

u/Supaki

A grandfather smiling while playing with his grandson
Ariel Skelley / Getty Images

7."She wouldn't clear the excess time off the microwave display."

u/spenghali

8."I literally re-thought my relationship with my ex after we went to the zoo (I paid for everything: tickets, parking, food, gift shop, etc., which wasn’t cheap) and he had the nerve to say our trip to the zoo was 'boring.'"

u/lionprincesslioness

9."She constantly referred to herself in the third person. It broke me."

u/Bismarck12

WWE

10."She did that thing with her voice where every sentence she said ended with a question mark."

u/Pennaflumen

11."I almost broke up with a girl when she was trying to be seductive, and she yanked my book out of my hand and closed it — losing my spot."

u/hatefuspiteful

Gaston stealing a book from Belle
Walt Disney Studios

12."She ate pizza with her hands — and no, not like you're thinking. She would scoop up the toppings in a messy pile, and, like an animal, claw them up and eat them then rip the bread up and eat it. We were at a fancy Italian place, and I was horrified."

u/Breadrozt

13."My boss's daughter's ex-boyfriend broke up with her because he saw they had a Dyson, and he said he 'wouldn't be able to keep up with her extravagant lifestyle.'"

u/dh4645

A fancy looking Dyson vacuum
Dyson

14."He ate with closed fists around his utensils like a toddler, and his face right up to his food like someone was going to steal it."

u/Firejen

15."I’m not single anymore, but I was once told I was petty for breaking up with a guy because he had a terrible orgasm face. It was haunting. Horrifying. Like he was simultaneously orgasming and having his dick chopped off."

u/UnicornKitt3n

Jon Hamm in Bridesmaids making a silly face during a sex scene
Universal Pictures

16."I booked economy class for a one hour flight. She cried because she 'never felt so cheap.'"

u/Aphobos

17."They were deathly allergic to nuts. The idea of never having Nutella or a Snickers again without the risk killing my partner with a kiss was too much."

u/Pithy-

Sliced bread with nutella
Michael Powell / Getty Images

18."They 'didn't like pizza.' Not like they couldn't have pizza for a dietary reason, but they could have as much as they wanted and just didn't like it. It still upsets me to this day."

u/byrneboy

19."He was a coward. He couldn't walk through a dark room at night, he couldn't watch a horror movie with ghosts or gore in it, and he literally sat up in bed screaming like he was dying several times because I got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, and he 'thought I was a ghost' when I was getting back into bed."

u/exclusivebees

A classic sheet ghost standing at the top of the stairs
Elva Etienne / Getty Images

And finally, this ultimate holy betrayal:

20."I had a guy break up with me in high school because 'God told him to.' I was like, 'Uh okay...I guess I can’t argue with that one.'"

u/GreatPancakee

Well, there you have it! You've read theirs, but now it's your turn! What's the pettiest reason you couldn't date someone? Share in the comments below!

Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity. H/T Reddit.