Paul Kenney's College Football: Buckeyes, Oregon will win big

Sep. 24—We begin this week with some more obscene college football recruiting walking around money, the nation's most prized recruit, and one of the blue bloods of the sport desperate to regain its lost relevance.

Back in June according to a story in the Atlantic, quarterback Arch Manning, viewed as a program savior, along with nine other recruits, including their parents, were wined and dined by the University of Texas to the three-day weekend tune of $280,000.

Another tune that might be more appropriate would be Cyndi Lauper's, "Money changes everything," or maybe Joel Grey and Liza Minelli cranking out, "Money, Money, Money ... it makes the world go round ..." from Cabaret.

Texas treated the recruits like royalty, paying $21,000 for everyone's airfare, $46,696 for 34 rooms at the Austin Four Seasons, and a combined $60,000 plus for two dinners along, with an $11,800 pool bar bill rung up by the recruit's parents.

In the end the investment all worked out for the Horns, as three days later, Texas landed its big fish, Arch Manning, when he committed to play for the 'Burnt Orange, who in 2025 will be joining the SEC.

Cyndi was right, money does change everything, or as my pal Mike Healy often says; "America, what a country!"

This weekend let's see which teams could use a loan for some more quality players, and which go for broke, and pull off an upset victory.

Wisconsin at No. 3 Ohio State

(Ch. 5, 7:30 p.m.)

In 1913 Woodrow Wilson was occupying the Oval, and contemplating the creation of The League of Nations, when the Badgers and the Buckeyes first met on the gridiron, a 12-0 whitewash by the footballers from Madison, Wisconsin.

In fact the "Sons of Barry Alvarez" won the first three times they played, but since, Ohio State, who is currently riding a streak of 8 in-a-row, captured 11 of the last 12, and hasn't lost to the Badgers at the Horseshoe since the end of W's first term in 2004.

Ohio State has been nearly as dominating as the Harlem Globetrotters versus the Washington Generals, or Muhammad Ali pummeling Floyd Patterson, posting a jaw-dropping 61-18-5 series record, and its last loss to the "Sons of Alan Ameche" occurring on October 16, 2010. WOW!

But Kentucky's basketball coach Adolph Rupp, who is credited with first uttering, "That's why they play the games" gives hope to all, look no further than the USA's 1980 Gold Medal hockey team, or General George Washington's rag-tag bunch of Colonists versus the Red Coats of England, stuff in fact does happen.

In Madison, as always, defense, and this edition is currently ranked eleventh in the nation surrendering an average of 8-points a game, is like the swallows returning to Capistrano, and the bulls running in Pamplona, fully ingrained into the Badgers DNA, and masterly maneuvered by its the wizardly coordinator Jim Leonhard.

These attacking "Sons of J.J. Watt," led by the linebacker trio; Maema Njongmeta, Jordan Turner, and Nick Herbig, swarm like bees to a bunch of late summer sunflowers, while hitting with the concussive force of Paul Bunyan's axe, and harder to penetrate than the security protecting the FBI documents removed from Mar-a-Largo.

On offense, the "Sons of Russell Wilson" are directed by its pro-style QB Graham Mertz, who so far this season has displayed a dramatic improvement in his passing efficiency, but there remains a high-level of anxiety amongst the faithful, waiting for this magical carpet ride to crash and burn in a flurry of interceptions.

The Wiscy commander is assisted by its starry hard charging tailback Braelon Allen, his partner Chez Mellusi, and a trio of quality receivers; Chimere Dike, Skyler Bell, and tight end Clay Cundiff, all of whom will have to perform way above their NIL paygrade, if Wisconsin is are going to challenge the Buckeyes.

In Columbus, Ohio State has been more dominant against its Big Ten brethren, than Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook, and Elon Musk combined, as the Horseshoe in Columbus has become a Bermuda Triangle for all Big Ten opponents.

Over the past decade the footballing "Sons of Woody" have like "Sherman's March to the Sea," scorched its conference visitors, winning 25 in-a row, and capturing a mind blowing 40 of its last 41, or as Fred Rodgers might ask, "Can you say, domination?!"

Ryan Day, is the Buckeyes Bernstein-like maestro of this pigskin symphony, who in his three-plus seasons roaming the Ohio Stadium sidelines has compiled a 37-4 symphony of near Mozartian perfection.

On offense, the "Sons of Archie Griffin," who can utilize more weapons than the inner-city neighborhoods of L.A., are directed by its Heisman contending QB C.J. Stroud, who has yet to thrown an interception, and hits his game breaking targets Emeke Egbuka, Marvin Harrison, and Jaxon Smith-Njigba with the same precision as Clint Eastwood in "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly."

The Buckeyes can also carve an opponent behind its pair of "Eveready" tailbacks Miyan Williams, and Treveyon Henderson, both of whom are averaging nearly 7-yards a carry.

After the disappointment of last season, if you can call an 11-2 Rose Bowl winning season a disappointment, Day realized that his defense needed a complete overhaul.

In a move of Bobby Fisher brilliance, he hired Jim Knowles from Oklahoma State to coordinate that side of the ball, and behind tackling machine backer Tommy Eichenberg, his partner Steele Chambers, and safety Lathan Ranson, the results have considerably brightened for Mr. Day.

In reality, despite the words of Adolph Rupp, we give the Badgers about as much of a chance against the Bucks in Columbus, as we do Jeff Diehl, the Massachusetts republican gubernatorial candidate in defeating democrat Maura Healey, as the Buckeyes make in nine consecutive over the visitors from Madison.

No. 20 Florida at No. 11 Tennessee

(Ch.4, 3:30 p.m.)

The first item on the agenda of every Florida and Tennessee fan when they purchase a new calendar is to flip to September, and circle this date adding; "The third Saturday in September."

This will be the fifty-third meeting between these SEC rivals, which has been dominated in recent years by the "Sons of Steve Spurrier," who have captured 16 of the last 17, which is nearly as many Emmy nominations as Ted Lasso, and that run has extended Florida's series advantage to 31-20.

[The lone Tennessee win during that desolate stretch occurred in 2016.]

And like Ebenezer Scrooge before the visit by the spirits, there is a serious lack of Christmas good will between these rivals, as witnessed by the following classic gem from Steve Spurrier when was the headman at Florida.

The "Head Ball Coach" delighted in never missing an opportunity to throw an Ali-like jab at all things Tennessee Orange, and in those bygone days the winner of the game would usually earn an invitation to the Orange Bowl, while the loser was "relegated" to the Citrus Bowl.

That scenario prompted Spurrier in his high pitch cackle to say: "You can't spell Citrus, without a U and a T!" Brilliant!

But in Gainesville, with apologies to Robert Preston, there is trouble right here in the Swamp, as the Gators offense has collapsed faster than the Afghanistan government currently creaking along as he 98th overall ranked eleven.

It also appears that the scintillating opening night performance by its QB, Anthony Richardson, has melted away faster than the Wicked Witch of the West, as Florida's field director has yet to throw a touchdown pass against four interceptions, while completing just a scooch more than fifty-percent of his throws, benchable numbers indeed.

If he continues to struggle mired in his 121 ranking in passing accuracy, the Gators will need huge assists from tailbacks Montrell Johnson, Trevor Etienne to try and keep the defense of the Tennessee Volunteers at bay.

On D, the "Sons of Jack Youngblood" featuring backers Ventrell Miller (game time decision), Brenton Cox, and Amari Burney is weaker (113th), than the flow of the Rhine River defending against the run surrendering nearly 200 rushing yards a game, and overall has been as inconsistent as the striper fishing at Castle Island.

In Knoxville, with apologies to FDR's 1932 political campaign song; "Happy Days Are Here Again," the orange cladded Rocky Toppers are giddy with excitement as College Game Day is setting up shop, while the Volunteers were established as an early 10-point favorite, its largest against its bitter rival in a quarter-of-a-century.

On Offense, these "Sons of Johnny Majors" are commanded by its dual-threat marksman Hendon Hooker, last year's transfer from Virginia Tech, who hits his target with the precision of Daniel Boone.

The Vols sharpshooter is assisted by a pair of quality roadrunners, Jabari Small, and Jaylen Wright, while lasering on his game breaking wideout Cedric Tillman (ankle questionable), and his partner Jalin Hyatt for a balanced offense that has shown the ability, albeit against some Cupcake U competition, to score faster than Jack Nicholson in "Five Easy Pieces."

On D, the "Sons of Reggie White" featuring backers Aaron Beasley, Jeremy Banks, and corner Trevon Flowers stone runners, but as mentioned, it must be able to corral the Gators QB ever-dangerous Richardson forcing him to throw and remain in the pocket.

There is some danger for Tennessee, as all of a sudden it has a million new friends, but we do think that Happy Days are indeed here again, as Josh Heupel's Knoxville footballers celebrate the "Third Saturday in September" by riding the penthouse elevator into the top-10 of the national rankings.

No. 10 Arkansas versus No. 23 Texas A&M (Dallas) (ESPN, 7 p.m.)

Sam Pittman, the avuncular headman of the Razorbacks, would be a perfect candidate for the next Modelo beer campaign, the one that highlights the "fighting spirit" of never listening to the naysayers.

Like a slow roasting pork roast, the coach climbed the coaching ranks by molding offensive lines, to where he now stands as the leader of the "Sons of Frank Broyles," who for the second consecutive week are the tenth ranked tenth in the nation, which is something that hasn't been seen in Fayetteville, since the last year of Barak Obama's first term — 2012.

On offense, with apologies to Tom Rush, QB KJ Jefferson is the driving wheel of this "Fayetteville Special" and the dynamic dual-threat 245-pound field general who glides like Billy Rodgers floating over Heartbreak Hill, is also being able to hit his target with the deadly precision of a Marine Corps combat sniper.

The Hogs like to run more than the Kenyan's of the Rift Valley, or Richard Kimble as the Fugitive, ranking tenth overall, by averaging an "old school" 243-yards a game, and along with Jefferson and its electric elusive tailback Rahel "Rocket" Sanders, the nation's fourth leading rusher, the ground they cover would make them ideal spokesmen for John Deere.

When Jefferson, a descendant of Joe Ferguson, takes to the skies over Fayetteville, he lasers on a quartet of big play receivers; Dominique Johnson, Matt Landers, Jadon Haselwood, and Trey Knox.

On D, the "Sons of Dan Hampton" are like a graffiti artist obscuring the fact that this squad featuring backers Bumper Pool, Drew Sanders, and tackle Jordan Domineck, a transfer from Georgia Tech, are a red light warning dead last in the nation defending against the pass, allowing an Excedrin inducing 353-yards per game. OUCH!

In College Station, it's starting to look more like, as Yogi would say, "Déjà vu all over again," otherwise known as a 9-3 season.

And with apologies to Frank Sinatra, the Aggies faithful had "high hopes" that this would be its SEC breakthrough season, but mired in a scoring (20 points a game) drought, along with its porous run defense, has dashed those hopes faster than another windy immigration harangue by Elizabeth Warren and Ed Markey clears a room.

In his defense, Jimbo Fisher has been as diligent as a beachcomber or Diogenes in searching for any offensive spark quickly making a quarterback change, installing Max Johnson, an LSU transfer, as the new commander of the 12th Man, with assists from its leather-toughened tailback Devon Achane, and a trio of targets Chris Marshall, Ainas Smith, and Evan Stewart for an offense that currently rests a bottom feeding 109th overall in the nation.

And to put the Aggies twenty point offensive output into proper perspective, Boston College is averaging 23-points a game! YIKES!

On D, the physical "Sons of Lester Hayes" attack the ball behind backer Edgerrin Cooper, and corner Antonio Johnson, but overall are as weak as the levees of New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina sitting 83rd in trying to stop the opposition's running attack.

In this 79th meeting between these old SWC foes, the Hogs, who last year ended its nine-game losing streak hold a 42-33-33 series lead, and we believe the Razorbacks add another W into its column, as "Uncle" Pittman sips on a Modelo, while his squad continues to ascend in the rankings.

No. 15 Oregon at Washington State

(FOX, 4 p.m.)

With apologies to the iconic and mellifluous Dinah Washington, "What a difference a couple of weeks makes" for the Ducks of "Phil Knight U" aka the University of Oregon.

Left for dead after its season opening bludgeoning by the Bulldogs of Georgia, the "Sons of Dan Fouts" under its new coach Dan Lanning, showed its mettle by easily handing the visiting Cougars of BYU, then then twelfth ranked team in the land, thus setting the stage for this unexpectedly important Pac-12 North division contest.

But as rejuvenated as the Ducks fan base is after witnessing that performance, the question lingering in Eugene, like the intoxicating aroma that emanates from the kitchen of Giacomo's in the North End, can its dual-threat Auburn transfer QB, Bo Nix, permanently shed his Jekyll Hyde personality, and perform his magic on a consistent basis.

The Eugene commander, who is capable of hitting his target with the surgical precision of diamond cutter, is assisted by a trio of roadrunners, led by Mar'Keise Irving, who is averaging nearly 7-yards a carry, while targeting a trio of redwood receivers, tight end Terrance Ferguson, and wideouts Troy Franklin, Don't'e Thornton, and Chase Cota, who have the ability to instantly break open a game.

On D, the "Sons Dave Wilcox" featuring backers Noah Sewell, Justin Flowe, and corner Jamall Hill swarm to the ball and hit with the intensity of a T track worker pounding the rails of the Orange Line, but its secondary is as inefficient (114th) defending against a pass, as the Biden Administration is in handling the migrant crisis on the Southern border.

In Pullman, coach Jake Dickert's Washington State Cougars are one of the bigger surprises of this young college football season, as its victory over Wisconsin at Camp Randall clearly indicates, and with the Ducks of Oregon flying into the Palouse, the stakes for the winner of this game are higher than Mount Rainier.

On offense, the "Sons of the 'Throwin Samoan, Jack Thompson" are under the direction of, with apologies to the "Bard from Hibbing, Minnesota," the freewheeling" duel-threat dart-throwing QB Cam Ward, who is assisted by a quartet of tasty targets Donovan Ollie, De'Zhaun Stribling, Lincoln Victor, and Renard Bell, while Nakia Watson is the principle roadrunner for an offense that overall will not cause any sleepless night for opposing d-coordinators.

On D, the "Sons of Keith Millard" led by its tackling machine backer Daiyan Henley, his partner Francisco Manigoa, and corner Armani Marsh, have been as suffocating as listening to a diatribe from any Boston City Councilor, having surrendered a miniscule three-game total of 38 points, its fewest total since Bill Clinton was in the second year of his first term 1996, while hitting with the ferocity of a Marvin Hagler right hand.

With apologies to Cinderella, and as we close toward October, we think that the Wazzu carriage ride devolves into a pumpkin, as the Ducks quack up the rankings with another huge win, establishing itself as a factor in the Pac-12.

Last week: 3-1

Season record: 7-5