Parents, kids face dilemma with after-school activities | THE MOM STOP

Lydia Seabol Avant. [Staff file photo/The Tuscaloosa News]
Lydia Seabol Avant. [Staff file photo/The Tuscaloosa News]
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When I was growing up, I did ballet for a decade — from the time I was 3 years old until I was 13. My sister and I also sang in the children’s choirs at church and took piano lessons. We danced tap and jazz, tried gymnastics for a while, and when I was a teenager, played softball and basketball.

My sister, who admittedly has always been more athletic than I am, played soccer from a young age, and she also participated in softball, basketball, cross country and cheerleading

I’m not sure how my mother, a single mom who worked full time, was able to ferry us from one activity to another. But with the help of my grandparents, we did it. We were always involved.

I’ve tried to follow that example with my children. In our family, we have a rule that each child must be involved in something, including at least one sport. My three kids have done soccer and softball, ballet, gymnastics, scouts, basketball, and our son’s favorite — tackle football.

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But what do you do when a child doesn’t want to do anything?

It’s something that we’ve faced, especially since the pandemic, when our kids got used to staying at home. And the break was needed. But over the last 18 months, we’ve signed the kids up for sports again, and there’s been a lot of complaints.

My youngest child complained her way through softball last spring. When I asked her if she wanted to go back to dance, she said no. I asked her about tennis, but again, no. I suggested she could do soccer again, or even basketball.

But each suggestion garnered exasperated sighs or eye rolls.

“I just want to stay home,” my 7-year-old replied.

I explained to her the importance of keeping our bodies active, and being on a team or in a class with other kids her age. But there is no reasoning with a determined second-grader.

And so I decided to sign her up for church-league cheerleading regardless, since the practices and games would be on the same days as when our son had basketball. Soon after, my husband came home to find our daughter sitting at the kitchen island, looking distressed.

“What’s the matter?” he asked her.

“I’m really disappointed in Mommy,” our youngest child replied, sighing. “She signed me up for cheerleading.”

We had a sit-down meeting about what our daughter would really want to do, in terms of extracurriculars. “I just want to draw,” she replied.

“So … an art class?” I asked. She agreed.

It took a few months and being on a wait list before we found an after-school art class available in our area for her age group. But as I picked her up from the art gallery after her first class, she held up her still-life watercolor painting with a huge grin on her face.

“How did you like the class,” I asked her.

“I loved it,” she replied.

What happened to cheerleading, you might ask? She had her first game last weekend, and was on court with her pompoms, cheering and laughing with a new friend. And while it’s not an activity she’ll likely do past this season and she’s not the peppiest cheerleader on her squad, it’s all a learning experience to try new things before deciding whether she likes them or not.

“Mommy, I decided that cheerleading isn’t so bad,” she told me from the back seat of the minivan following the first game.

“That’s great,” I told her.

“But I don’t love it as much as art. Or math,” she said.

I’m perfectly OK with that.

Lydia Seabol Avant writes The Mom Stop for The Tuscaloosa News. Reach her at momstopcolumn@gmail.com.

This article originally appeared on The Tuscaloosa News: Parents, kids face dilemma with after-school activities | THE MOM STOP