Nextdoor snitch tries to call 311 on legal pot, actual 311 responds

William Hughes
·2 min read
Nick Hexum, of 311
Nick Hexum, of 311

It’s been a little more than a week since New York governor Andrew Cuomo signed a law legalizing recreational marijuana use in the state, a move with massive ramifications on everything from New York’s prison population, to its medical infrastructure, to its suddenly thriving demand for the production of bright green neon signs. And also, as it turns out, its Nextdoor ecosystem, as noted in a post highlighted today on Twitter by ACLU engineer Steve Wozniak, featuring a resident of Brooklyn’s Park Slope neighborhood who said they’d repeatedly tried to call 311 on people smoking pot (legally) in the area’s parks.

(For those who live outside larger cities, 311 is the number often assigned to non-emergency municipal services; not so much calling the cops on someone as calling the garbagemen.)

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But when one cries “311" out into the ether, they can’t be surprised when a different 311 comes slamming back, carrying with it all the amber energy that such a demand merits. Which is to say that some other Brooklyn resident, feeling a tad annoyed about this intrusion on their now completely legal rights to get high in peace, decided to hire 311 singer and guitarist Nick Hexum (via Cameo) to respond to this demand for 311-shaped justice. “Someone’s a tattletale,” Hexum notes in the video (which Wozniak also posted in a later tweet), adding that he’s “a little too familiar” with Nextdoor drama himself. Then, after advising all involved to “live and let live,” he plays a snippet of a pretty acoustic version of “Freak Out,” because when you pay $150 for a Nick Hexum Cameo, you’d better believe you get the whole damn show.

Sadly, Nextdoor’s residency restrictions mean we can’t check in on Park Slope and see how it’s responding to this infusion of 311 vibes, but our own experience with the app suggests that “Beautiful Disaster” might have been a more appropriate choice.