'It's never okay to just be average' - Councilwoman describe challenges, scrutiny on the dais

Jun. 19—In the last year, local governments across the country were tasked with making life-saving decisions in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic.

In Norman, the majority-female City Council took the brunt of the backlash from those decisions.

Norman Mayor Breea Clark is no stranger to criticism — it "comes with the territory" of being a woman in politics, she said. But over the past year, she has seen these attacks intensify and even develop into threats to her life, family and friends.

"People are often surprised when we're intelligent or bold, and I've had to make some bold decisions this past year," Clark said. "...I've gotten pretty good at compartmentalizing. They're not saying that to me, they're saying that to the mayor. and honestly, it's like what I tell my kids about bullies: there must be something so wrong in their life that they take time out of their day to treat another human being like that."

The effort women have to put forth is tenfold what their male counterparts have to do, Clark said.

"It's never okay to just be average — women have to go above and beyond to be seen as average," she said. "[But] there's a thin line between being bold and bitchy, and I don't think men often have to deal with that thin line, or it's a much thicker line. In fact, they get kind of praise for being tough and being firm. But it's a hard line to walk when you're a female."

The criticism is not policy based anymore, she said. Now, it's all about appearance and attitude rather than policy.

"Your appearance gets judged more than anything else, which is really unfortunate, because what I wear and what I look like has literally nothing to do with my leadership ability," Clark said. "But that's always a topic of conversation."

Another difference between men and women in politics is the types of insults and threats they receive. Women in leadership tend to receive sexual messages instead of criticism solely rooted in policy, former Ward 5 councilmember Sereta Wilson said.

"I was threatened with rape," Wilson said. "This one guy said that I have sex with horses. But there's all kinds of threats of rape, and I don't think men get threatened with rape."

The difference was a stark one, she said.

"Men get threats of 'I'm going to vote you out,' or 'You'll be recalled,' things like that," Wilson said. "I don't know that any man on council has ever been threatened to be hung in his front yard, and the mayor has ... It's definitely a different brand of threat than what a man would get."

Stephen Tyler Holman, who represents Ward 7, seconded Wilson and Clark. Women are not only held to a higher standard on the dais, but are criticized in different and harsher ways, he said.

"I can definitely say that there is a difference in the way that people talk to me and in the way that people criticize me," Holman said. "There's some people that are pretty extreme and it doesn't matter, they'll talk to everybody that way. But I would say that the general tone is definitely different toward my female colleagues, especially when it comes to criticism.

"Things that I've seen people say about them on social media or words that are used to describe them, I know they wouldn't say to me or my male colleagues."

Holman said rarely — if ever — does he get threats comparable to those received by his women colleagues.

Ward 3 councilmember Alison Petrone said after her vote on the city's police budget last summer, she had people vandalizing her house and coming into the backyard to vandalize it.

"We just have to suck it up and make it and let them continue to target [us]," Petrone said. "There were times where my kids felt the brunt of things that they never should have had to do."

When a woman responds to violent threats, actions and criticisms, they are viewed as either too emotional or too fiery, Petrone said. Often, she has to turn the other cheek.

"I mean, these attacks that come on women are just entirely different — they're not policy based," she said. "So deciding whether or not to answer those criticisms is hard. Because you don't want to give them a platform, but ultimately there are times when you have to say something, or at least try to point it out."

Petrone said the only way this treatment of women in power will change is to elect more of them to these positions, but she recognizes how hard it can be to run. Her main piece of advice to women interested in politics is to go for it, she said.

"We're not going to see progress without women getting into the policy arena," she said. "We can't have representation that has nothing demographically in common with the electorate — that doesn't work. We have got to have representation on every level, looking more like the people that they represent. If women are interested, I absolutely say go for it, but just be ready [for what's ahead]."

Reese Gorman covers COVID-19, local politics and elections for The Transcript; reach him at rgorman@normantranscript.com or @reeseg_3.