Should my neighbor venture onto my property uninvited? Our etiquette expert weighs in
Q. Now that I am retired, I spend a lot of my time working in my flower beds in my backyard and I must say they are really beginning to look nice. My neighbor has always been a friendly person and since I have retired, she often comes over when I am planting flowers or whatever and she compliments me on how everything looks. I appreciate that, but I do not appreciate seeing her in my backyard looking at my flowers and flower beds when I am not out there. That’s kind of too much, don’t you think?
I don’t think it is proper for her to be coming over onto my property unless I am out there or I have invited her to come into my yard anytime, which I don’t recall doing. I am trying to figure out a nice way of telling her not to come into my backyard unless I am home and out there. I have cameras around the house so I was thinking about telling her the cameras will trigger a call to my security company when someone comes onto my property unless I have turned it off which I do when I am out there. It’s not quite the exact truth, but I think it might work. What are your thoughts?
A. First of all, it is very inappropriate for your neighbor to go into your backyard without your being there or without your permission. It is really trespassing which is or could be a serious thing.
Secondly: Yes, if you preface your conversation with her by telling her about your video cameras, their purpose, and what can occur if you do not have them turned off — that will be a very good segway into saying: “So, it is best if you do not go into my backyard unless you see me out there working or without asking me first.”
Good grammar becoming obsolete
Q. My mother always told me that having good grammar is not only a key element of being a lady, but also of being successful in your job and being respected in everyday life. I, therefore, am appalled at the improper use of grammar on TV commercials, in the news reports, programs and movies which then trickles down to those who are watching, who then begin making the same mistakes.
Unless grammar rules have changed, one example (and I won’t reveal the commercials or the programs) is the incorrect use of “myself” and “me.” In one commercial this man is talking about how “they attacked my product and myself ...” According to how I was taught English, he should have said: “they attacked my product and me ...”
Another irritant is hearing someone say: “I saw a little girl that looked like ... ” when it should be “I saw a little girl who looked like ...”
Therefore, I am sending this to you in hopes it gets published so people will understand how they should be using these words correctly.
A. Yes, thank you very much for your comments. You are very correct in that having “good grammar” is definitely a significant part of being a lady, or a gentleman, and brings respect from others. Correct grammar, or incorrect, paints a picture of whether respect is warranted or not.
I have heard the examples you provided in many levels of society. It is mind-boggling to me commercials, for example, are not reviewed by the best gammarians available before they wind up on the air. It is embarrassing for the person in the commercial, the owner of the product, and those who listen to the commercial. Hopefully, by bringing this information to my readers, they can make certain they are using these words correctly.
Special note to readers: Since this is Memorial Day weekend, I would like to honor all U.S. military men and women who have died while serving to keep our country safe. You are not, and will not, be forgotten.
