Mother's Day a border away
May 8—TUPPER LAKE — For Can-Am families like the McClellands, northern border restrictions symbolize a new-age type of border, keeping a 95-year-old matriarch from embracing her eldest son, hugging two of her grandsons and kissing her only great-grandchild.
Dan McClelland, publisher of the Tupper Lake Free Press, is the oldest of four in his family and mom, 95-year-old Joyce McClelland, lives alone back in his hometown of Napanee, Ont.
In normal times, Dan, 67, would cross the Canadian border with ease, driving three hours to visit her at least once a month. Joyce, who resides at a property Dan owns there, would often hand her son a short to-do list upon his arrival, asking he take care of small tasks, like hanging a picture or fixing a door.
"I would spend the night with her and we would go for dinner," Dan recalled. "Then we'd wake up the next day and have coffee for two or three hours and really just gab. Those are some of the most special times. I really miss that."
BORDER ON LOCKDOWN
It was March 2020 when the U.S. and Canadian governments chose to halt nonessential travel between the two countries due to the coronavirus, drawing a barrier more than 5,500 miles in length.
While essential travel was allowed, the distinction applied to commercial crossings or individuals with cross-border employment, not familial visits.
Since, northern New York's elected representatives and the North Country Chamber of Commerce, under leadership of President and CEO Garry Douglas, have pressured North American leaders to ease open the border, especially for families and/or individuals with property on the opposing side.
As of early May 2021, there were no changes to the travel restrictions nor guidance regarding the border's eventual reopening.
MOM TURNS 95
About seven months after restrictions were first implemented, an emergency at one of Dan's rental properties north of the border allowed him a brief trip to Canada and a short visit with his mom.
That is the only time he has seen her in more than a year.
The McClelland family celebrated holidays, like Christmas and birthdays, over video chat, including Joyce's 95th birthday, which was Monday, April 26.
"It was lovely, but it was horrible that we had to resort to such — that she couldn't be with all of her children and grandchildren on her 95th birthday," Dan said, noting that one of his sisters, who lives in Napanee, was at her home with her.
"Luckily my sister could be there, but when I saw my mother sitting there and watched her blow out her candle, it just broke my heart."
KEEPING BUSY
Joyce, who noted COVID cases in her Ontario "bubble" were well managed, spends her days reading and only goes out to pick up books curbside from the library or to buy groceries.
"There's not much else," she said. "There's nothing going on and you can't go to restaurants. It's difficult, because you miss all of the people that you normally see."
The 95 year old was looking forward to returning to tai chi. Though indoor classes were canceled for fear of the virus, outdoor ones would return this summer at a park.
Joyce says she reads "all of the time" and added, "I don't know what I would do if I couldn't read." She says she borrows a lot of murder mystery novels from the library, as well as the occasional love story.
"I like to a read a book that I have hard time setting down."
'MISS SEEING THEM'
Joyce, whose three other children live in Canada, said the hardest part of the border's closure was being kept from Dan and his family in New York.
"I miss Dan so much," she said. "I have a great-grandson down there that I would like to see and grandsons. I just miss seeing them."
Her great-grandson, Dan's grandson, is two-year-old Remi.
"He's growing," Joyce said. "I haven't seen him to hold him."
Dan's family, in Tupper Lake, video chat with Joyce about once a week, letting her get a look at Remi through the screen.
"His attention span isn't there," Dan said with a laugh. "We can get him to say, 'Hi, Nana,' but that's about it."
Joyce added, "He's such a busy little guy. It's hard to get him to look into the camera and, ya know, he doesn't really know me."
READY FOR REOPEN
Sunday, May 9 will mark the second straight Mother's Day that Dan will have to spend a border away from his mom.
"As far as Mother's Day, it's not going to be a Mother's Day for me," he said. "The U.S. and the Canadian governments need to get their acts together and find a way for close families to see each other.
"We'll take whatever precautions we need to," he said, noting that his family was fully vaccinated. "Why can't we go visit someone else in Canada who is fully vaccinated if we do nothing else, but stay in their home?
"I miss spending that time with her. She's 95 and probably won't live for another 30 years, well, she might, but this is just very valuable time in my life and in her life and these video chats don't do it."
Email McKenzie Delisle:
Twitter: @McKenzieDelisle
