More than a year later, families still waiting on proper reunions
Apr. 20—PLATTSBURGH — Karen Bower celebrated her mother's 89th birthday last November at the Clinton County Nursing Home separated by glass.
Her mom, Doris Deso, is the strongest woman she knows, Bower said, but she admitted that spending time inside a nursing home during the pandemic has been difficult.
Now more than a year after the first cases of COVID-19 hit the U.S., Bower is ready to embrace her mom again. Both have been fully vaccinated, with Bower receiving her second dose of the Moderna vaccine two weeks ago.
But at the county nursing home, where Deso has lived for the last six years, residents are still prohibited to have any physical contact with visitors, even after New York State guidelines have given the green light in late March.
INFECTION CONTROL
Wendie Bishop, administrator of the county's nursing home, said safety is at the heart of that decision.
"At this point, we believe that we are providing a safe space and following infection control practices," Bishop said. "We basically feel that we are in compliance with the visitation policy."
At the county nursing home, visitors instead meet residents in the home's dining room and are required to stay six feet apart for the duration of the 15-minute visit.
The dining room, Bishop said, was designated for visits because of its size and ability to meet other protocol requirements. But because the space is also used for eating, movie screenings and other recreational activities, visitations have been limited to a maximum of 15 minutes, Bishop said.
HIT OR MISS
Visitations are frustrating for Bower, who was able to be in the same room as her mom for the first time in more than a year on March 22, not only because of the home's guidelines, but because it can be a challenge for Deso to grasp why limitations are in place.
Deso has dementia, and when her daughters visited her in-person last March, she motioned them to get closer, not understanding why they couldn't.
"With dementia, it's a hit or miss," Bower said. "One minute they're with you and then the next minute, they're not."
An avid Bingo player and a fierce mother of seven, Deso spoke with a powerful voice for most of her life, but age and dementia has taken a lot of that away. Sitting six feet across from her mother, Bower can have difficulty hearing Deso, who now speaks softly. On top of that, Deso needs the assistance of hearing aids, making conversations a challenge occasionally.
"You would never know she was a woman with seven children," Bower said. "Let me tell you, my mother could yell. She did not need a microphone, but not anymore. Things change."
12 FALLS
What Bower worries about the most is that her mom doesn't have someone inside the nursing home with her who can speak for her. Bower hasn't been able to go inside her mother's room to make sure she has everything she needs since before lockdown restrictions were introduced.
Deso has had 12 falls in the last year, Bower said. The stress of not being able to ensure her mother is being properly treated has been compounded as positive COVID-19 cases have sprung inside the nursing home.
Bishop said that three residents have tested positive in the county's nursing home with no deaths. To her, it's a blessing, but 15 staff members also tested positive, with 14 cases between the months of December and April, when "things got a little haywire," Bishop said.
Residents are required to isolate for 14 days alone in separate rooms when a positive case is found inside the county nursing home, Bishop said. Residents can test out of isolation after seven days and two consecutive negative tests.
ISOLATION WORRIES
Bower worries about the effect isolation has had on her mother.
"After a whole year of being isolated, they went for months and months when they couldn't have any activities," she said. "Being stuck in your room for three months in December, January, February, that's gotta play with your mind."
Bishop said that there are limited options at the county nursing home to accommodate isolated residents with mental conditions.
"Having your door shut for 14 days is isolating. Some people just don't do well with that," Bishop said. "It's just very difficult, and it's not easy at all on anybody."
Bishop said the nursing home tries to provide Zoom visits for isolated residents with mental health professionals, but only if they have a health provider that covers it.
"And we would probably do more one-on-ones with [isolated residents,3/8" Bishop said. "Obviously, using personal protective equipment and making sure that we are following the infection control guidelines."
For Deso, her condition made it difficult to understand Zoom calls, which weren't much use when they were used early on in the pandemic for visitations, Bower said.
As much as Bower worries about her mom being alone at the county nursing home, she received good news in early April when her aunt Gloria Suza was transferred from a Malone nursing home to be reunited with Deso.
'I HAVE PEACE NOW'
It's something Bower and her sister, Carol Dagley, have been trying to get the county on board with for months, Bower said.
Bower believes her aunt will be her mother's voice inside the nursing home while she can't be.
"I have peace now," Bower said. "My aunt has her whole voice. She might not be able to hear anything, but boy she's got a loud voice. She'll make sure they'll pay attention to her."
The next challenge for Bower and Dagley is to get their aunt and mom together in the same room and to get that hug they've been waiting on for more than a year.
But until then, Bower is enjoying the silver lining the nursing home recently sent: a photo of her aunt and mom reunited.
"The look on my mother's face was worth a million bucks," Bower said. "It just shows a peace, like she can actually hold her sister's hand now."
Bower gets chills just thinking about her mother's expression.
"It's like the woman just won bingo."
Email Fernando Alba:
