Megan Thee Stallion Says She Doesn’t “Want to Live” While Testifying Against Tory Lanez

Megan Thee Stallion gave emotional testimony while taking the stand on Tuesday during the assault trial of Tory Lanez, who allegedly shot her in the feet two years ago.

"I'm having a really difficult time sitting up here telling my story and having to sit across [from] people who have made up lies about me and having to [sit] across from Tory," the Grammy-winning rapper said, according to People. "I try to be strong. I don't like to look weak. I don't want to give them the power that they've taken from me for the last three years."

Asked to recall the night of the shooting—which allegedly took place after Lanez, Megan, and Megan's friend Kelsey Harris were driving back from a pool party at Kylie Jenner's house—Megan said, "I heard the gunshot. I don't know how many, but feels like it went on forever." She added, "He said, 'Dance bitch,' and I turned to him and saw him shoot."

When police officers arrived on the scene, Megan recalled fearing for her safety. She was reportedly handcuffed and placed on a gurney. "Nobody cared I was bleeding. Felt like I don't matter," she said tearfully, per People. "Nobody cares what is happening to me right now."

Later during Megan's testimony, she expressed her mental health struggles in the aftermath of the shooting, particularly with how men in the music industry have publicly taken Lanez's side against her and the media scrutinizing her history of sexual relationships.

"Every man in a position of power in the music industry has taken his side," Megan said. "Not a day goes by without being called a liar. This whole thing is about who I was having sex with, not who shot me, and I don't know why."

Megan reflected on being at the height of her career when the alleged shooting occurred. "I just did a song with Beyoncé, and now she knows I got shot," she said, adding that she "didn't want to say anything" out of embarrassment. "I just did something I've always wanted, and now it'll be overshadowed. … This situation has been worse for me while he's more popular—I've turned into a type of villain while he's a hero."

She continued, "I'm embarrassed because I'm a grown woman hanging with people I have no business hanging out with. Now look at how everybody want to view me. … How could I share my body with someone who would shoot me. … Now every week there's an article calling me a 'hoe.'"

Previously, Megan denied having a relationship with Lanez during an interview with Gayle King. When asked if she lied about the nature of their relationship, Megan answered, "Yes."

The public perception of the shooting has affected her current relationship with boyfriend Pardison Fontaine.

"I feel disgusted, I feel dirty, my own partner is embarrassed," she said, explaining that they both have to deal with constant coverage of her sexual history. "I can't even be happy. … I don't want to talk to friends or family."

She continued, "I don't want to live. I wish he had just shot and killed me if I had to go through this torture."

Lanez, whose real name is Daystar Peterson, has pleaded not guilty to discharging a firearm with gross negligence, assault with a semiautomatic firearm, and carrying a loaded, unregistered firearm in a vehicle, according to The Associated Press.

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