Lil Nas X shares struggles with depression and hypochondria

Megan Sims
·2 min read

Lil Nas X opened up about his struggles with mental health in a series of candid videos.

On Tuesday, the 21-year-old rapper shared on TikTok his battle with depression, suicidal thoughts and hypochondria, which is anxiety that causes unwarranted fears associated with one's health. The musician, whose real name is Montero Lamar Hill, said he "started going to the doctor a lot in fear that I would d!e soon," but making music helped him become "happy again."

Reflecting on times before he found the outlet, Nas X shared that after dropping out of college, he was kicked of out his sister's home and after "feeling hopeless" and moving in with his brother, he witnessed domestic violence.

Just a few months later though, "Old Town Road" became a viral hit. But while fame solved some issues — he was able to buy his first apartment and put his mother into rehab — it exacerbated others. "During this time I was smoking heavily and really anxious from the amount of success," he wrote. After coming out as gay publicly and breaking up with his boyfriend, "I found myself in a hotel room contemplating ending it all, but I didn't," he said.

This is not the first time the "Panini" rapper has revealed his mental health struggles with fans. In a series of tweets in 2019, he talked about his "high ups and extremely low downs."

"I usually deal with my sad times in private because i don’t like for my fans or family to feel sorry for me...when u get to that hotel room and it’s just you, you do a lot of thinking. small things become so BIG," he tweeted.

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