Kinsler column: But if it never got cold Natalie’s daffodils wouldn’t bloom
It seems that despite the promise of imminent global warming our weather has turned cold enough to freeze a badger in his burrow. As a native of Cleveland, I should not be disturbed, but as a 74-year-old native of Cleveland, I hope I’ve accumulated sufficient seniority to be cowardly.
Cleveland was cold. “Better bundle up,” my mother warned. “It’s below zero outside.”
I wish my Arctic heritage (Mother: Cleveland. Father: Chicago.) had enabled me to withstand our cryogenic climate without complaint, but it didn’t. The 25 mph wind from Canada ensured that each of the Cleveland Transit System’s lonely bus stops were kept at USDA-mandated temperatures suitable for storing Tater Tots.
The worst of it was my fingers, which while thawing hurt worse than anything I’d experienced since birth. Gloves never seemed to help, and it now occurs to me that Vera G Kinsler likely observed stringent principles of thrift when a new pair was required.
Upon gaining shelter I would immediately install M Kinsler at one of the warming stations I’d established over the years. At home I’d battle with our cat Kubla Khan for hegemony over the single effective warm-air vent grudgingly permitted in modern architectural practice At school, the library, quiet and generous, had a blessedly hot radiator near the window where they’d let a frozen kid read books from the science shelves. I knew and worshipped the warm spots in every store on the way to school. Bakeries were best.
The Cleveland Heights schools were packed with post-war kids when we began first grade, so they started half the 6-year-olds a semester early, which is why my sister graduated from high school on a January evening enhanced by a particularly vicious cold snap. With Miriam angelic in a white academic gown and carrying her school-issued bouquet of fresh flowers, we walked from the car and into the school. And that’s when she discovered that her flowers, still looking fresh, had frozen solid.
Mark Kinsler, kinsler33@gmail.com, having never escaped winter, lives with Natalie and two warmly-attired cats in an old house in Lancaster and also tends to get overheated. Go figure.
This article originally appeared on Lancaster Eagle-Gazette: Even Cleveland natives feel the cold
