Katharine McPhee, 36, opens up about how she and David Foster, 71, combat negativity about their age gap

Kerry Justich
·4 min read

Katharine McPhee is opening up about her relationship with David Foster, sharing how the married couple combats negativity surrounding their 35-year age gap and how they've prepared for parenthood.

"We all have the ability to label things and to look at something for the way that it looks or face value and make a judgment. So I totally get the judgment initially, but things are never as they appear, things are never exactly as they appear and I’m in love with our love story and that's all that matters," the 36-year-old singer and actress told Dr. Berlin during an episode of Informed Pregnancy Podcast of her relationship with Foster. "But it didn’t just happen overnight. We had a real journey and I had a real process."

McPhee didn't shy away from talking about the evolution of her relationship with the music producer who is 35 years her senior, explaining that "it took me a while to kind of come around to really want to have a real, serious relationship because I was very concerned with what people would think" after she had re-connected with Foster as a "full-on woman." Despite the apprehension that she felt early on, however, she ultimately fell in love with Foster and worked hard to build a strong foundation with him.

American actress Katharine McPhee and David Foster arrive for the David Foster Foundation Gala at Rogers Arena on October 21, 2017 in Vancouver, Canada.  (Photo by Andrew Chin/Getty Images)
Photo by Andrew Chin/Getty Images)

"The statistics show that every time you do get remarried, your chances of success actually go down," she shared, explaining that Foster had been married four times prior, while she had been married once before herself. But near the end of her first marriage with Nick Cokas, McPhee said that the two went to therapy which helped her to understand a lot about herself and how she'd approach her subsequent relationship.

"The way that we kind of approach things differently so that we’re not part of another statistic is to really do the work, to really talk about things and lay things out, make a map of potential pitfalls and how we’re going to conquer the world and life together," McPhee said, adding that she and Foster learned a lot from each other's approaches from growing up in different generations. "Obviously there's always unforeseen things, like in any marriage, any relationship no matter what the age difference is. But to kind of have that foundation going into it is how we've chosen to walk through this differently so that we’re choosing each other in a very conscious way."

Still, when it comes to the judgment that the couple faces from outsiders, McPhee expressed that the negativity seems to be focused on her perceived role in the relationship.

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"The perception of what people try to create, especially with women, it's always the woman’s fault. It's the woman who wants to be with the older man because he has money and he's had success and she wants this, that. I mean, our story's been the complete opposite," she said. "Every once in a while it feels good to give [trolls on social media] the finger. But for the most part, we really don’t care. [Foster] will say every once in a while, 'Eventually, we're just going to look normal to people.'"

McPhee explained, "There was never one day that I doubted my decision to be with him. Even if we had an argument or whatever, I’m so crazy in love with him and so grateful. But it’s not just in love with him, I loved being around him before we were even married."

The couple just entered a new phase of their relationship, welcoming a baby boy into the mix on Wednesday — McPhee's first child, Foster's sixth. McPhee explained that even this, however, is a unique experience for the two of them.

"It'll be David’s first son, which is really cool. It's something we get to share together that he's never experienced," she explained just four days before giving birth. "He has all girls and I obviously don’t have any children. So, for us, it’s even more special. The boy is gonna be so spoiled."

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