We hate insects, especially this time of year. But they are soooo good for the planet

In the midst of last weekend’s record heat, while I sat outside with my iPad, Googling this, that and the other thing, I stumbled upon a story called “What can humans do to help insects?”

I found the question kind of amusing, since I’ve been doggedly smashing flies, mosquitoes and ants since I was knee-high to a grasshopper.

I even swatted a few while I read the article.

Just reading the story’s title, though, triggered a dark flashback: Back in the mid-1980s, my friend Paul invited me to visit him in a lovely place called Anna Maria Island, Florida. He had moved there from New York and was living in a house that he (mostly) built himself.

Like so many Sun Belt homes, Paul’s place was airy and modern and decorated in a minimalist style, mostly white on white, with occasional splashes of off-white, to break up the monotony.

Indeed, just about everything on the premises was the same chalky hue, except the palmetto bugs — enormous, winged, brownish-blackish cockroaches — that would crawl out of the plumbing fixtures at night and were roughly the size of flip phones.

A healthy barbecue?: Ok, but where is that giant tub of Cool Whip?

Actually, according to Orkin.com, “Their coloration is dark brown with a cream-colored prothorax that has dark markings that resemble sunglasses.”

Hey, it’s Florida.

One evening, around midnight, I was in the guest bedroom reading a book and heard one walking toward me.

Yes! I actually HEARD it walking on the plush white carpet. And, it heard me.

I yelled, “Get out of here!” And, like a scared rabbit, it dashed off in the opposite direction.

Like many people who live in sultry climates, Paul learned a long time ago how to coexist with gigantic prehistoric menaces.

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As for me… well, as a lifelong resident of the great Northeast, I’m not nearly as tolerant of things that buzz, bite, sting or crawl through walls and plumbing.

Plenty of my acquaintances feel likewise.

A few days ago, my friend Patrick drove his car to a gas station to fill ’er up. And, if the bill ($75) wasn’t excruciating enough, a wasp got into his car while he was parked there and stung his arm.

Days before that, another friend was riding his mountain bike down Mission Peak in California when a wasp flew into his mouth and stung his lower lip. Somehow, he managed to spit it out and remove the stinger without stopping or crashing into anything.

I was stung by one in the late ’80s — I’m STILL peeved about it — and my arm was swollen for days.

The silence of the lamp: Has fixing stuff become passe? — Ervolino

I’ve been told that if you do some research on your least-favorite insects, you will find that almost all of them, even wasps, serve some purpose.

(Not that I care. Sting me once and you’re dead to me.)

Dr. Seirian Sumner, an entomologist at University College London who has spent a good part of her life studying wasps — her Twitter handle is @waspwoman — recently told The Guardian newspaper that wasps can, among other things, help us understand the evolution of social behaviors.

They also do a little pollinating, on the side.

So, yeah, I guess they serve a purpose.

(If you want to help them and other insects, that “What can humans do…” story offered these suggestions: 1. Mow your lawn infrequently, or get rid of it altogether; 2. Use native plants in your garden; and 3. Avoid pesticides.)

If you still hate insects too much to be nice to them, it may be comforting to know that most bugs don’t live very long — and that includes the annoying housefly that’s been trying to get out of your house since Halloween.

Actually, houseflies live for only about 28 days. Mosquitos have things even worse — they last only about a week.

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Yellowjackets, which thrive on the waste in fast-food restaurant dumpsters, live only slightly longer — around 10 to 22 days.

The big exception to this Die Young rule is the termite queen, which, under the right conditions, can live from 50 to 100 years.

Yes. Years.

Apparently, eating wood is a lot healthier for you than eating Whoppers, McMuffins and whatever meat-like substance is in those intoxicating Arby’s sandwiches.

Can you hate bugs and admire them, too? Sure, why not?

Did you know, for instance, that many insects return to their nests using an innate skill called path vector navigation? Ants and bees both use it, and ants even count their steps, to help find their way home.

Insects are also amazingly varied. There are 900,000 known kinds of living insects, according to the Smithsonian Institution — which estimates that there are thousands more we still don’t know about.

So, even if you encountered a different insect every day of your life, you would only see about 36,000 of them, assuming you lived as long as a termite queen.

Which you probably won’t.

This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: Bugs are everywhere, but we need them to make the planet thrive