Guest column: Why my mentors were vital in learning life's important lessons
If you are anything like me, you may be new to National Mentoring Month. But after spending an inordinate amount of time on social media during nearly three years of pandemic living, I’ve learned there are many holidays and celebrations of which I was previously unaware (yes, I’m looking at you, Second Cousins’ Day). From that perspective, National Mentoring Month is a more than worthwhile observance.
As someone who spends most of my time highlighting and raising money to support the great work of teachers in classrooms across the nation, I have a significant appreciation for mentors and mentorship, which is just one of the roles teachers play. Like many people, my first mentors were my parents, and I will forever be grateful for all that they instilled in me. They were later joined by members of Tulsa’s Antioch Baptist Church and teachers from Academy Central, Madison Middle School and Tulsa Booker T. Washington.
Once I arrived at the University of Oklahoma, I was blessed to have a number of individuals guide me, perhaps none more than “DC” Don Bradley, Karen Renfroe and Dr. Ruth Okediji. Don was a major reason I joined Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Inc., Karen was my “OU Mom,” and Dr. Okediji, or “Mama O,” was my law school mom. I keep in contact with each of them to this day and even use Karen as a sounding board and collaborator in fundraising efforts.
As my career has taken me from Oklahoma, to Houston, to Dallas, to Los Angeles, and back to Oklahoma City, I’ve developed mentors in each place I’ve landed. Rarely a week goes by that I don’t hear the voice of Brother Ricky Lewis (“Celebrate every victory.”), Pastor Conway Edwards (“Pay now, play later, or play now, pay later. Either way, you’re going to have to pay.”), or Pastor Donald Bell (“Many people will never pick up the Bible. As a believer, it’s your job to be I Corinthians to them.”). During my recently completed tenure at Oklahoma City University Law, the mentoring I received from Jim Roth, dean of the law school, made him the best boss I’ve ever had.
From the many mentors I’ve had, here are some of the most important lessons I’ve learned.
First, relationships are the key to life. From a faith perspective, life’s most valuable relationship is vertical and then extends horizontally (Mark 12:30-31). Spend time investing in both directions.
Second, once you’ve decided on a direction for your life, find someone who does what you want to do and does it well, humble yourself and sit at their feet, and then let them pour into you. Life didn’t begin with you ― so it makes sense to learn from those who’ve traveled the path before you.
Third, embrace the opportunity to participate in formal and informal mentoring. Both have value, though formal mentorship often provides a higher level of accountability.
Perhaps most importantly, the best mentorships are two-way relationships. This has been my experience the past few years, as DeAndre Martin has been kind enough to bestow the “mentor” title on me. In working with DeAndre to increase opportunity and investment in Northeast Oklahoma City and OKC’s African American community, I’m learning that good mentoring provides space for both mentor and mentee to learn from one another and to gain from the relationship. As I watch his hard work and dedication to our community, I look forward to seeing him elevate to heights I couldn’t even imagine ― which might be the best part of being a mentor.
Stephen Butler is the chief development officer of Fund for Teachers and serves on the boards of a number of education-focused nonprofits in Oklahoma City.
This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: Guest: Why my mentors were vital in learning life's important lessons
