Greece looks like fun, but it also looks exhausting

·3 min read

Jul. 2—My girlfriend has filled me with jealous rage.

That's because she just took a 10-day trip to Greece with her son and a friend. She sent me countless pictures of ancient ruins, the crystal clear Aegean Sea, and food that looked like it came straight from Heaven's banquet table.

So yes, I was a bit jealous. Why did I not go along, you ask? Well, Missie planned this trip three years ago, before we ever met, and then it kept getting kicked down the road by COVID-19. Also, I don't have that kind of money.

She did bring back some cool stuff for me, which has helped soothe the sting of jealousy. Several T-shirts, a couple of bracelets, and a necklace with a "Greek eye," which supposedly wards off evil spirits. To my personal demons: Game on!

One of my shirts says Delphi on it. Missie bought it in — you guessed it — Delphi. I love it, but it's a white T-shirt. The last two white shirts she bought me now have permanent stains on them — food, dirt, the blood of my enemies? Who's to say. Apparently white clothing is nothing more than a canvas for my particular brand of Jackson Pollock art.

I'm actually kind of glad I didn't go to Greece, because it involved a lot of walking and a lot of climbing hills and steps. I've been out of shape for the past six years or so, and I probably would have wound up in the ER. I guess you could say walking long distances is my ... Achilles' heel. For me, it would take a ... Herculean effort. And having to do it every day? Why, that would be ... Sisyphean.

Just getting to and from Greece was exhausting for Missie and her crew. They connected in Chicago on the way up, and it was a 12-hour flight from O'Hare to Athens. They did the reverse on the way back. That's a lot of time in the air — too much time for my taste.

What do you even do for 12 hours on a plane? They were unable to sleep, so there was nothing to do but talk and watch movies. Missie watched five movies just on the flight home, and surprisingly, "Airplane" was not one of them.

"Surely you jest."

No, I don't, and stop calling me Shirley.

I would not have enjoyed the flight. On the other hand, I didn't particularly enjoy being away from Missie for 10 days. It was just me and the cat, Penny Dreadful, who quickly became convinced that I was the reason for her humans being gone so long. Penny mostly ignored me, except for when she squalled at me because she needed water or wanted to go outside to search for her people.

Penny spent just part of one night in the bed with me while Missie was gone. Her first night back, Penny could not be moved from that bed. She loves her momma.

I really would like to go to Greece someday. Or Ireland, or Spain. I've never left the continental 48, which is a real shame. I love this country and all, but I'm kind of ready to see something different. Missie says I'll be coming along for the next trip in two years, and she's thinking Barcelona, the South of France, Rome, and a few other places.

I should probably start getting in shape right now.

Brad Locke is senior sports writer for the Daily Journal. Contact him on Twitter @bradlocke or via email at