His fantasy football team took last. The penance? 15 hours stuck inside Waffle House
Some punishments are embarrassing, like standing on a busy street corner, wrapped on a cardboard sign that says “I suck at fantasy football.” Some are strategic, like being forced to draft a kicker with next year’s first pick. Point is, if you play fantasy football, you risk stepping into the Thunderdome if you come in last — especially if your league is die-hard.
For Lee Sandelin, it’s to the loser go the waffles.
Sanderlin spent 15 hours confined in a Mississippi Waffle House with nothing but a knife and fork, syrup, his thoughts and Twitter— all because his team tanked in his fantasy football league this past season.
According to Sanderlin, he was sentenced to 24 hours inside a Waffle House, but for every waffle eaten, an hour of his sentence was shaved off. He managed to eat nine waffles, which at 460 calories per — including butter and syrup — comes out to an artery-clogging 4,140 calories and 126 grams of fat.
His popcorn-worthy watching journey started on Thursday and went in Friday, and became a trending topic on Twitter throughout the night, gathering fans from all over.
I got some books, some magazines and some podcasts. And two waffles to start.
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 17, 2021
2 down. That means two hours down. 21.37 hours left roughly. Already my stomach is rumbling. Gonna be a long one.
The staff does not believe me that I’ll be here that long... little do they know— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 17, 2021
Four waffles down. Been here for 1.5 hours, so that means I have 18.5 to go. I am already in immense discomfort. Please, somebody, launch me into the sun pic.twitter.com/LyyZObcmQ3
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 17, 2021
AND IT’S EYE OF THE TIGER HELL YEAH LETS GET ANOTHER WAFFLE
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 17, 2021
So far, so good. Survivor appears to be keeping him on his toes because, well, duh.
Per my league commissioner, I am allowed to sit in the parking lot and also if I puke it won’t count against me. This won’t recalibrate the strategy tho
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 17, 2021
I saved three weeks worth of @ShutdownFullcas for this. Feel like there needs to be a Waffle House Disasters episode
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 17, 2021
Found that extra something and polished off waffle 5. That’s 5 hours shaved off and an incredible amount of agony for my intestines. 16 hours to go
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
This is where some extra strength Tums would come in handy.
Meanwhile, in the outside world pic.twitter.com/Qwxp7k2LcU
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
Waffle number 6 and I’m eagerly staring into the abyss, hoping for it all to end. Also, 4 hours down now pic.twitter.com/XtmPpUNOHk
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
Damn this 6th waffle is not going down. Got my first shift change here and homies are getting a good tip. Lookin’ to rally here
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
And now we get to the juice: judging by his Week 8 lineup that was posted, he deserved his punishment. If not something harsher than scarfing down waffles.
I found my roster from like week 8 or whatever. Just not good. Also, I am definitely puking soon pic.twitter.com/L7l2xFmUF9
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
Gotta admit, some of these lines are pure gold. “Full of waffles but devoid of life.”
LETS GO! Waffle no. 6 has been consumed. And the music came back on. 12 hours to go!!!!! pic.twitter.com/bqHF6IC9lC
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
LETS GO! Waffle no. 6 has been consumed. And the music came back on. 12 hours to go!!!!! pic.twitter.com/bqHF6IC9lC
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
Quitters never win and winners never quit pic.twitter.com/qrTXPcQvoM
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
Full of waffles but devoid of life
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
What’s up: back from my brief stint getting some phone juice. Got some coffee in an effort to get ~ t h i n g s ~ moving. Sorry to the haters who thought I’d spend the night sleeping pic.twitter.com/hmBR6VlL03
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
We’ve entered peak boredom hours. All the staff went out for their smoke breaks. This Waffle House doesn’t feel like a waffle home with no one here pic.twitter.com/jv2epLvvvi
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
Enjoying another cup of coffee, trying to make some room. Beyond the utter and total discomfort I feel, Waffle House is pretty peaceful right now. Kind of zen. Not touching no. 8 for at least an hour
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
It’s 4:07 a.m., I have 5 hours to go and I’m out of @ShutdownFullcas episodes and the crossword I was doing is meh at best. At 6, I’m gonna order two (2) waffles and try and get them down. That would bring me up 9 and get me out of here by 7.
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
Miley Cyrus’ The Climb is playing in this Waffle House and I think it’s time to try and put down those last 2 waffles and go home. This was real. At times it was fun. But, it was never really fun.
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
I can report progress. One waffle down. That makes 8. 1 to go then we’re just running clock until 7 am. This is NOT enjoyable
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
WHO LOGGED INTO THE TOUCH TUNES TO PLAY HOMEWARD BOUND? https://t.co/nLWN5eWwrw
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
A hero most likely did it, that’s who.
And we’re out pic.twitter.com/79Er4rBxdP
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
And he lived to tell the tale.
Barely.
Taco from “The League” would be so proud.
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