'Dad on Pills': NJ comedian Chris Gethard tackles parenthood, mental illness

Chris Gethard has spent much of his career finding humor in the things that scare him — and the rest of us.

Gethard, who grew up in West Orange, chronicled local curiosities as part of the staff of Weird NJ magazine. He was a prominent talking head in “Class Action Park,” the 2020 HBO Max documentary about infamous Vernon water park Action Park. He delved into the subject of mental health with his 2017 HBO special “Career Suicide.”

“I think we’re raised in a culture of fear,” Gethard said. “And at a certain point I just realized that I needed to start shouting to the hills about it or else it was going to drive me insane.”

Gethard, 41, now lives in Morris County and has a 2-year-old son, Cal. With the new essay “Dad on Pills: Fatherhood and Mental Illness," Gethard is giving voice to his parenting anxieties, and in doing so is part of an increasingly vocal chorus calling for a fundamental attitudinal change in our society.

“There’s right now a pretty wholesale rejection of the idea that people need to be tough, men need to be tough, kids need to be tough," Gethard said. "I think a lot of that is going by the wayside, or at the very least we’re kind of re-examining what toughness means and entails, and what purpose it should serve."

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In “Dad on Pills,” now available in ebook and audiobook through reading subscription service Scribd, Gethard powerfully channels the concerns of someone who has spent years dealing with his own mental health issues as society's attitudes continue to evolve.

"I don’t think people want to drink their problems away anymore and I don’t think people want to work themselves to death for the purpose of finding pride," Gethard said. " ... It’s a really cool thing, but you also sit here and you go, ‘Jeez, there’s no guidebook to raising a child and I’m a pretty messed-up, mixed-up person ...' "

For Gethard, reflections on his New Jersey youth — the priority on toughness messed him up, he said — and the realization that his mental health tied into issues connected with parenting inspired him to write "Dad on Pills."

“Being a parent, it’s really daunting, it’s really intimidating. You spend a lot of time worried that you’re going to pass on your issues to your kid," Gethard said. "And I think every parent probably sits there and thinks about that, and goes, ‘I hope that my kid picks up my best habits and my best tendencies and manages to not pick up the worst.’ And for me, that’s a really, really scary thought because the worst I have to offer is stuff that’s been so brutal."

That's a conversation, Gethard said, that every parent should be open to having, no matter how difficult.

"When it comes to mental health, nobody wants to think about passing it on to your kids or having those conversations with your kids," he said. " ... But I think it’s really worth putting out there, and I think it’s the type of conversation that we’re primed and ready to have as a culture."

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Some of the biggest pop culture fixtures of Gethard’s 1980s childhood are pivoting from the tough and toxic side of masculinity to embrace greater vulnerability and nuance.

Netflix’s “Cobra Kai” is unafraid to question the “martial arts can solve all conflicts” lessons of preceding entries in the “Karate Kid” franchise. Professional wrestling, once exclusively the domain of one-dimensional hulking combatants, has even started stressing the importance of self-care via All Elite Wrestling competitors such as C.M. Punk, Jon Moxley and AEW World Champion “Hangman” Adam Page.

“He’s like an emo cowboy who doubts himself too much,” Gethard said of Page. “That’s the number one guy in the hottest wrestling company going right now, a guy with severe self-confidence issues who gets visibly sad a lot.”

That changing attitude about male vulnerability is also reflected in his generation’s shifting attitudes toward careers, and the level of priority they should have in one’s life.

“It doesn’t mean you’re like a snowflake or a beta male or any of these other catchphrases that people kind of grossly toss around (for you) to say ‘I want to connect with my kids.' 'I want to connect with my family,' " he said.

“Dad on Pills: Fatherhood and Mental Illness” by Chris Gethard is now available in ebook and audiobook form from Scribd. For a free month of Scribd to download, read and listen to "Dad on Pills" along with the rest of the service's catalog, visit this page.

Chris Gethard also hosts the "New Jersey is the World" podcast, with upcoming live shows at the House of Independents, 572 Cookman Ave., Asbury Park on Feb. 2, March 2, April 6, May 4, June 1, July 6, Aug. 3, Sept. 7, Oct. 5, Nov. 2 and Dec. 2. Doors open at 7 p.m. Tickets are $20. For more information, visit houseofindependents.com.

Alex Biese has been writing about art, entertainment, culture and news on a local and national level for more than 15 years.

This article originally appeared on Asbury Park Press: Chris Gethard on parenthood, mental illness in 'Dad on Pills'