Author hopes new book will raise awareness about the needs of deaf children

Feb. 6—Avril Hertneky knows what it's like to live in a completely silent and often isolated world.

She was born deaf in an environment where the people around her did not understand her needs or nurture her growth.

It wasn't easy for the 26-year-old Brampton, Ont., native, especially in the beginning.

Her parents and siblings could hear and she could not. As a result, they often failed to understand her needs, which made growing up in silence all the more difficult.

"My parents didn't learn sign language," she said. "I had two brothers and one sister and they are hearing. They were able to communicate easily with people and each other. For me, that wasn't easy. People just kind of looked past me."

As she grew older, Hertneky turned to writing as a form of communication and therapy.

Her latest book, "From Rejection to Love, The True Story of a Deaf Woman who Overcame Abuse and Neglect," is designed to help parents of deaf children better understand their children's needs. She hopes her personal story will help others understand what it was like to grow up in a household where that was not the case.

"I wrote this book because I want to tell new hearing parents that have a deaf child that they shouldn't take away their language," she said. "They should focus on communication and make sure they don't feel different from other people."

Having experienced silence and frustration over her inability to clearly communicate with those around her at a young age, Hertneky said she is hoping to help stave off what she describes as "language theft," a severe loss deaf children can experience if they and their families are not equipped with the right tools to communicate and cope.

While she says the United States, which has had the American Disabilities Act in place since 1990, does a better job than Canada with offering assistance to the deaf community, she believes there is still a need for greater communication of awareness. She said it is especially true of young or new hearing parents with deaf children who may be learning about the needs of those who cannot hear for the first time.

'I just think, generally speaking, hearing people don't know deaf peoples' struggles," she said.

In her new book, Hertneky discusses her struggles growing up deaf in a home with parents who were not only indifferent to her situation but at times abusive as well. She recalls being unable to communicate with teachers and staff members at her schools in Canada — a total of three, all for hearing students.

"The teachers didn't want to educate me because I was deaf. Oftentimes, they would just have me play while they taught the hearing students. Nobody had any deaf awareness at the time," she said.

In 2015, Hertneky came to the U.S. where, from her experience, people are more aware of the needs of the deaf and there were more resources available. She credits that in large part to the standards established under the ADA.

"For new readers or hearing parents in general, I hope that they read my book to gain an understanding of the deaf struggle, as to why the system failed deaf people," she said.

So what advice does she have for parents and others who may not have a full understanding of the needs of deaf individuals?

"I want to tell people that I believe that they can become successful adults, but it's hard for them if they are not nurtured properly," she added.

Being nurturing involves being understanding, according to Hertneky who believes it's important for people who can hear to know how impactful being deaf can be on a young person's development in terms of their education, their pursuit of employment and careers and, in some cases, even seemingly routine activities like discussing health concerns with a doctor.

"When I graduated from high school, I had no idea what deaf people did for work," she said. "How do I rent a house? How do I get an apartment? It impacts the deaf world."

To ensure a higher level of communication with deaf children at an early age, she highly recommends parents to learn sign language, saying she considers it the best means for the deaf and hearing to communicate with one another.

She also encourages new parents of deaf children to do their own research and not just listen to the advice of their doctors.

She noted that there is a wide range of programs and services in the U.S. for deaf people and she recommends families and individuals get involved in online forums and community events and gatherings where other deaf people and loved ones of deaf people are networking.

"I think it's very important to be open-minded and to advocate and to help deaf people see it all," she said.

In addition to "From Rejection to Love, The True Story of a Deaf Woman who Overcame Abuse and Neglect," Hertneky has written two other books, including "What is Language Deprivation?" and "For Deaf Kids: Know Your Language Rights?"

All three books are available on Amazon.