Allison Batdorff: The downside of measuring up

Apr. 18—A straight line connects "big" and "old" when we're young.

It's a simple physical calculation: Age equals height. Also, growth happens on your actual birthday — sometime after the cake and ice cream but before any old relatives suggest spankings.

Answering my tiny-tot daughter's question about her great Nana's upcoming 80th, her face turned awestruck and her short arms stretched as far they could reach as she marveled "She is going to be so tall."

We adults reinforce this worldview with an entire family tree constructed of big and little siblings, and coos of "you're getting so big!" from infancy onward.

But then something happens. Something breaks that lovely, literal physical math and throws the world into splendid chaos.

I saw the reckoning in my own child when she witnessed my obvious pleasure in calling her aunt "my littlest sister" when her aunt towers over me. She recognized the familiar patter as my sister stood her ground, arguing that she should be able to call me "the little sister" because of the height difference. (She lost of course because I'm the big sister and fight to win).

Running underneath all the pleasant quibbling is the assumption of course that bigger equals better.

Now we all know that just isn't true. Smaller hands are much better when it comes to loosening bolts in tight corners and being lower to the ground is great for mushroom hunting.

But, unless you really love jewelry, most of us would pick the bigger present under the tree. Even our oh-so objective scientists.

To settle an argument over if "pea brain" was OK name-calling if it was physically true, I learned that in 2020 scientists were able to debunk the myth of the bigger-is-better brain when Michigan State University research showed that the volume of the hippocampus mattered only in terms of the condition of its circuitry in retaining memory. Now where was I?

Today my 10-year-old daughter is a breath shy of reaching my height. She slides on my shoes as she walks out the door. She asks me to go "back-to-back" at least 40 times a week — eager to record the instant she closes the gap.

Obviously, as a short person, I don't know what it's like to catch up or eclipse anyone in the growth race. But I share this moment with all of the parents who've stared eye-to-eye, then up into the face of their sweet, little baby. While slightly terrifying, I'm thrilled that at least one person in our house will be able to reach those upper kitchen cabinets.

The wonderful irony of course is that our childhood physical reckoning flips. We literally shrink as we age. My gallon-sized parents are suddenly much closer to their "shrimp," "squirt" and "half-pint" daughter than they ever believed possible.

So we move the goalposts accordingly, and bring out a new tape measure marked in increments of "quality" over quantity, in experience over energy. There comes a time in every sibling relationship when suddenly being mistaken for "the little sister" isn't such a bad thing anymore. My sister and I will probably fight over who gets that title in the nursing home.

Email Record-Eagle News Editor Allison Batdorff at abatdorff@record-eagle.com.