Alan Cumming Says His Role In "GoldenEye" Saved His Life And That He Was Suicidal Before Receiving It

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Alan Cumming may have landed a starring role in GoldenEye – but the audition was the worst day of his life.

Alan attends an event
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The actor revealed that before he tried out for the film, he was experiencing one of the "darkest moments" of his life.

Alan attends an event
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Besides going through a divorce, Alan was dealing with unpacking the trauma of growing up with an abusive father.

Alan attends an event
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"It was one of the worst days of my life actually," Alan said of the audition during an interview with CBS Mornings.

Alan attends an event
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He continued, "I felt really, really, really low. I just now think, Oh you poor little thing; you could’ve said, 'I am feeling suicidal today.'"

Alan attends an event
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Thankfully, things changed after he landed the part — and he credits his career in Hollywood with saving his life.

Alan in character for GoldenEye
United Artists / ©United Artists/Courtesy Everett Collection

"That’s something I realized when I was writing [my memoir]; like, oh my god, Hollywood saved me," Alan revealed.

He added, "I have this sort of mantra, which is ‘Cancel, continue.’ When something bad happens I think, OK, that happened; we can’t change that — let’s move on."

Alan smiles while attending an event
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Hear all that Alan had to say below.

The ​National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ​is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org​. ​The Trevor Project,​ which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386. You can also text TALK to 741741 for free, anonymous 24/7 crisis support in the US and UK from the ​Crisis Text Line​.