Aiken woman shares her breast cancer journey

Landon Stamper, Aiken Standard, S.C.
·4 min read

Oct. 25—May 30, 2012, is a day Charity Holdman will always remember.

It was the day she found out she had breast cancer, which started a new journey in her life.

"It was kind of a numbing experience that first day," Holdman, who was 36 at the time, said. "Once I had an answer, there were more questions, of course, and then you kind of go into action mode."

However, it wasn't as if the diagnosis came out of nowhere. Holdman, of Aiken, said it was a "process" in the proceeding days and weeks.

"It starts with finding a lump and then there's the mammogram and then there's the sonogram," Holdman said. "That led to having to have a biopsy done. It's kind of like a hurry up and wait process. You go to one step and then it's 'OK, we'll see you in a week.' Your brain is really trying to understand and filter through everything and research and figure stuff out."

Holdman, a medical homebound teacher for Aiken County, had already figured she had cancer after her sonogram when the radiologist told her things didn't look good.

The day she found out about her diagnosis also happened to be the last day of school.

"The next day was a teacher workday," Holdman said. "I texted my supervisor and told her I don't think I'm going to be at school tomorrow."

Since Holdman was told the cancer was caught early, her treatment option was to have a "lumpectomy and probably radiation," rather than having a masectomy.

"I thought, OK, if I can get away with a little bit of a blip and move on with life, then that's what I want to do," Holdman said. "Unfortunately, when they went in for the lumpectomy, he couldn't get good margins and so (we) had to talk about what the next steps were."

"So, come to find out, (my cancer) was multifocal, which means there's different types of cancer," Holdman continued. "All breast cancer, but different types in there."

After this realization, Holdman's treatment plan was changed to be a "double mastectomy, chemo, hormonal therapy, all the stuff." She was able to avoid having to go through radiation because of the double mastectomy and chemo.

While the news was a tough pill to swallow, Holdman said she had an excellent support group around her.

"I had several friends, unfortunately, that had gone ahead of me and so I did reach out to those people," Holdman said. "Good support group with church, lots of family, lots of friends at church bringing food, dropping off meals, dropping off a flower, sending notes in the mail, those type of things."

During her good weeks, Holdman said she was able to go to work, which helped give her some normalcy during a turbulent time. Her mother-in-law had gone through cancer treatment two years prior, so it was easy for her to find an oncologist and she also had the same nurse a msother-in-law.

Along with some people she met during her journey, Holdman helped form the Pink Dandelions, a support group for those who are newly diagnosed. The group meets one Thursday a month, and is there to answer questions, provide support or just to simply talk.

"I think that the biggest thing is for (those who are diagnosed) to know that they are not alone," Holdman said.

"My advice is to find someone who was in a similar situation or has been through it kind of as a mentor," Holdman said. "Advocate for yourself. If you don't feel something's right, talk about it with your doctor; don't just accept that it isn't right because most of the time, it's not right and they can change your treatment, they can adjust things, monitor things."

One lesson Holdman learned about herself was that she was stronger than she ever thought she was.

"I had three children; they were 12, 9 and 6," Holdman said. "I had little ones I still had to deal with."

"I had multiple people after the fact say, 'you handled that with such grace' even though on the inside, I had no idea that I was doing it so well," she continued.

Holdman said it's crucial to stay upbeat and positive during ones navigation of a diagnosis.

"You feel very lonely because most people around you aren't dealing with that and they're living their lives and you're kind of on hold," she said. "But don't let that make you stop living because you've got to stay positive."