37 Tweets About The Hilariously Unhinged Things Kids Have Said To Their Parents

When you first become a parent, you look at your adorable new baby and think...It's going to be so AMAZING when they start talking! I can't WAIT to hear all of the things they're going to say!

A newborn baby
Vicki Smith / Getty Images

Well, fellow parents, you just might regret that — at least a little — because they're going to say some weiiiiird shit. Also, embarrassing, disturbing, confidence-shaking, and thankfully, hilarious stuff! Here is a taste of what you have to look forward to:

1.They will say things that keep you up at 3 a.m.:

2.And they'll say stuff you've never considered before, stuff you really wish never entered your mind:

3.Even when they say something cute, it can send you spiraling:

4.Moms...this child you gave life to will drag you to hell:

5.And dads...your kid is going to burn you to a crisp, too:

6.They will also make you feel old:

7.So, so old:

8.All of this is to say you will need to develop thick skin:

9.And do NOT expect them to like your cooking:

10.But with requests like this, you can't really be offended:

11.You might wonder if they're a little evil:

12.Or, if not evil, definitely super scheming:

13.Also important to know...you will send them to school, or out with friends' parents, and they will keep talking and saying lord knows what madness:

14.But don't get me wrong, they will say stuff that CRACKS YOU UP:

15.Like, how could you not laugh at this:

16.Ditto for "leg prisons":

17.Or Mr. McClay:

18.Or this kid classic:

19.Their pronunciation will lead to some serious laughs, too:

20.As will their not yet totally solid grasp of the English language:

21.Eeeeven when they're 12:

22.And hearing what they do — but mostly don't — know about how the world works is pure comedy:

23.See what I mean?

24.Sometimes, their unique understanding of the world is adorable:

25.Sometimes, it'll make you go "Uhhhhhh":

26.And sometimes, you're just so happy you get to be the one who enlightens them, LOL:

27.Other times, they will say say something surprisingly smart...right before they go back to being a little knucklehead:

28.Kids' forays into the written word, it should be said, are every bit as...interesting:

29.There will be times you really wish they couldn't talk:

30.You will need to be patient:

31.There will also be times that make you laugh and go, "How and why did THAT come out of your brain, kid?"

32.Like, you will really want to know what's going on inside their brains:

33.And if you have twins, their minds will be even more befuddling:

34.For the record, when your kid gets older, they'll still say stuff that makes you swallow hard:

35.And their weirdness will extend to texts, too:

36.But in the end, the weird little things they say become the anecdotes you tell your friends:

37.And you know what? They're pretty damn good anecdotes!