36 Times "Teen Wolf" Decided To Be Absolutely Off-The-Wall For No Reason At All

·7 min read

I watched Teen Wolf as a teen, but I don't remember all that much about the storylines.

MTV / Via giphy.com

So I went on the interwebs and into my memories to see what happened on the show, and...wow. Turns out it was bafflingly wild!

Here are 38 truly bananas things that actually happen in the first three seasons of Teen Wolf.

Note: I have only included the first three seasons because going through the entire show would mentally exhaust me. If you have other suggestions, shout them out in the comments below!

Season 1

1.First off, the fact that Scott and Stiles, two TEENS, go out to find half of a corpse in the woods.

MTV / Via giphy.com

2.Both Allison's family and Scott decide to not tell her anything about how connected to werewolves she is. She doesn't even know they exist. She is given no information, no specifics, just a weird vibe to live with.

Abbi from Broad City is on the phone and says, Hello, then she lowers her phone from her ear and says, What coffee shop, what time, what, never any details
3 Arts Entertainment

3.Also, Allison is not a high school student. None of them are, but this woman is 26.

MTV / Via giphy.com

4.Seems like Scott and Allison skip school the same day as the parent-teacher conferences, which is amazingly stupid.

On The Good Place, Eleanor says, We are an Arizona dirtbag, a human turtleneck, a narcissistic monster, and literally the dumbest person I have ever met, and Jason says, And who am I, describe me now
Fremulon / NBC

5.Jackson, Mr. Popular, learns that Scott's a werewolf, and he's like, "Hey, I'll become a werewolf, too, so I'll be just as good at lacrosse as Scott!" JACKSON! DON'T BECOME A WEREWOLF TO BE BETTER AT HIGH SCHOOL LACROSSE!

MTV / Via giphy.com

6.Allison's dad wants to send Allison and Kate — his adult sister — to another state. Excuse me? Kate is an adult.

MTV / Via giphy.com

7.Peter killed his own niece in order to become an alpha werewolf???

On New Girl, Nick says, Schmidt, no, Schmidt hits Nick with his car and Nick says, You just hit me, Schmidt says, Damn right I did, you're sitting right in the middle of the spot, and Nick says, You hit me with your car over a parking spot, Schmidt
Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

8.And then Derek kills Peter! Stop killing each other!

MTV / Via giphy.com

Season 2

9.Apparently Derek makes Scott look at Allison's grandfather killing a totally innocent werewolf and saying he's going to make sure all werewolves die in order to avenger Kate's death. There's so much there!

Michael from The Office says, If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice
NBC

10.Also, Allison's grandfather just replaces the high school principal and makes Allison's mom a substitute teacher. How? Does he have any prior affiliation with the school whatsoever? Is he really rich?

On The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Uncle Phil says, I would like to impart some words that I always lived by, mo money, mo money, mo money
Warner Bros.

11.Allison's grandfather blackmails Scott, a child.

On The Good Place, Tahani says, Jason is making me watch this horror film about two ex convicts who try to rob and murder a neglected child, and we see they are watching Home Alone
Fremulon / NBC

12.While Jackson is that kanima thing, his master makes him go to a secret rave. I am thrilled about that — that is so funny. But also poor possessed Jackson has to go to a rave.

On Friends, Monica says, I'm drunk, that's right, mom and dad, your little harmomica is hammered
Warner Bros.

13.Is it bonkers that Stiles' father loses his job as the sheriff because of his son's reckless behavior? I feel like that's bonkers.

MTV / Via giphy.com

14.Lydia has a birthday party, which I remember a bit. At the party, Lydia puts wolfsbane in the punch bowl, and it makes everybody hallucinate what they fear most. WHY DOES SHE DO THIS???

On New Girl, Winston asks, You put bologna in your Bolognese, and Nick says, Where else would it get its name, trick question, it gets it from the mayonnaise
Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

15.Peter's fully dead, but he uses Lydia to lure Derek to the Hale House because it'll help him get resurrected somehow. What is this show?

MTV / Via giphy.com

16.Oh my god. Someone named Matt is trying to get revenge on people who once left him to drown at a pool party. That's awful. Matt couldn't swim...but for some reason he was at a pool party for the swim team that Isaac's father coached.

MTV / Via giphy.com

17.Oh no, and then Matt dies by drowning. Jesus Christ.

MTV / Via giphy.com

18.At a high school lacrosse game, Allison's grandfather tells Scott that he'll murder somebody if Scott doesn't get him Derek before the game ends. Why does Allison's grandfather, a grown man, live on a high-school-lacrosse-game time table? Does he think in lacrosse games? "I'll meet you at the cafe in three lacrosse games?"

On Friends, Monica asks, So we are back on, Carol says, We are back on, and Monica says, You heard the woman, PEEL, CHOP, DEVIL
Warner Bros.

19.And Allison's grandfather has zero problem twisting Allison's grief about her mother's death into whatever he wants from her. Holy shit!

Kelly from The Office says, I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died, that was the saddest funeral ever, that and my sister’s
NBC

20.OK, so Allison's grandfather wants to become an alpha werewolf so that his cancer will get cured, but his body rejects the bite because Scott had already switched out Allison's grandfather's pills with mountain ash. I don't know what to do with that.

On New Girl, Jess says, Every prank turns out either too big, flashback Nick says, Did you register me as a sex offender, Jess says, Or too small, flashback Schmidt's eating cereal and says, How'd this blueberry get in here, and Winston starts cackling
Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

Season 3, Part 1

I strongly remember this was called Part A.

21.Jackson is gone; he moved to London. Little fun An American Werewolf in London reference there that I despise.

MTV / Via giphy.com

22.For some reason we don't know yet, the animals in Beacon Hills are purposefully killing themselves. Teen Wolf was next level.

Tahani from The Good Place says, I have not had a pet since Barbra Streisand gave me one of her cloned siamese cats and it killed itself
Fremulon / NBC

23.Apparently there are werewolves being held hostage in an abandoned bank vault, because of course that's happening.

MTV / Via giphy.com

24.Season 3 has a powerful and scary druid, which both seems like a huge change in tone and also very consistent, because — in case I haven't been clear — this show is bonkers.

MTV / Via giphy.com

25.Why do the kids go to a cross-country meet in the middle of everything? I understand the "we have to balance our werewolf lives with our high school lives" thing, but who cares about athletic meets when you're dealing with a powerful and scary druid? Let the youth group activities go! They're often very dumb anyway!

On Friends, Melissa says, Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority, and Phoebe says, Of course, yeah, I was, uh, um, Thi Mega Tampon
Warner Bros.

26.It's a really small world, because the werewolf that bit Allison's grandfather's uncle in 1977 is the same one now terrorizing the characters. Plus, this werewolf needs to broaden their range.

On The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Will says, Your only source of pleasure is making me unhappy, and Uncle Phil says, That is not true, I have my wine collection
Warner Bros.

27.A werewolf's eyes go from yellow to blue the first time they kill an innocent person. What are you talking about, show? What is this?

MTV / Via giphy.com

28.Allison, Scott, and Stiles are submerged in ice-cold water to die for one sec because that's how they'll be able to find their kidnapped parents. Sure. At least they're doing it together! Friendship!

On Taskmaster, Greg says, What do you mean friendship is truth, and Lolly Adefope says, Um, sort of, friendship is truth, truth is friendship
Avalon Television

Season 3, Part 2

29.Now we have some fireflies in a swarm that can turn into eerie figures. I can't keep up.

On Whose Line Is It Anyway, Ryan Stiles says, I have a bit of a bug, and I am a little jittery, jittery bug, jittery bug, jitterbug, and Colin Mochrie says, Wow, nice segue
Warner Bros. Television

30.Evil, possessed Stiles was bananas in the best way. Dylan O'Brien is a stellar actor, folks.

MTV / Via giphy.com

31.Stiles must know he's being possessed by, like, a supernatural being or whatever, so why does he check himself into a psychiatric hospital? He's too dangerous for that, and the doctors won't be able to help him.

MTV / Via giphy.com

32.Deaton, the vet Scott is close with, is trying to cure Stiles, but he needs a hidden scroll to do it. Love it, the addition of a mystical scroll — I say mystical because all scrolls are mystical.

On Friends, Phoebe says, Alright, now we need the semen of a righteous man, and Rachel says, Okay, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that we would not be doing the ritual in the first place
Warner Brothers

33.Turns out Kira's mother is about 900 years old!!!

MTV / Via giphy.com

34.Remember the scroll? Well, apparently it says that this certain evil being can never be both a wolf and a fox. Any scroll that says that is a win in my book. Although if you're convincing as a fox, I'm sure the scroll won't see your wolf arm.

On New Girl, Jess says, If he is using it right, no one is seeing his penis, and Cece contemplates that
Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / 20th Century Fox Television

35.Look at that: Allison's aunt, Kate, is resurrected! Makes sense.

Over footage of what he's singing, Romesh Ranganathan sings, "Tree Wizard, hands together, he creates a balloon, Tree Wizard, it's another balloon, Tree Wizard, holy shit, another balloon, Tree Wizard, flies up to his tree and waves goodbye to you"
Avalon Television

36.Finally — and this is about the whole show in general, not simply Season 3, Part 2 — why does so much happen in this one town? Why is Beacon Hills the center of supernaturalness?

Nicole Byer saying, How, how, how

I hope it's never explained, because that is so much funnier.

World of Wonder Productions / Via youtube.com

Don’t miss Sam Claflin in the new rom-com Book of Love from BuzzFeed Studios, coming to Amazon Prime Video February 4 and Sky Cinema February 12.

Sam Claflin and Verónica Echegui standing on a street below the film's title
BuzzFeed Studios / Amazon Prime Video