People Are Sharing The Stories Of The Times They Had To "Break Up" With Their Friends, And These Are More Dramatic Than Most Romantic Breakups

Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community for their stories of toxic friends they had to "break up" with. Here's what they had to say.

WARNING: Some entries contain mentions of self harm and suicide.

1."When I was 14, I had a best friend; let’s call her Olivia. ... The best thing I can say to describe her is that she was a golden girl. Then, when we became best friends, I started to realize how manipulative she was. She would pit all of her friends against each other and make us fight for her, just so she could be center of attention. Not only this, but she constantly made us feel isolated and alone. Eventually, she went too far by spreading fake rumors about her 'best friend.' She also tried to attack another friend and constantly blackmailed others, going so far as to blackmail a boy into dating her."

"When I heard the nasty rumors that she spread and talked to the boy she was blackmailing, I instantly started distancing myself from her. She was blackmailing him with the knowledge that he had been admitted to the hospital because of a suicide attempt…I told her that I knew what she had done, and that I wouldn’t be a part of it. I helped get the boy free from the blackmail (he was super sweet and deserved better) and I started to find my own way and find a new friend group, that helped support me and helped me break my habits of going to Olivia."

—Anonymous

2."I was friends with this group of girls for almost ten years. One of them was the de facto leader, and I called her my best friend for a while. We were spend-the-whole-weekend-together close and planning to share an apartment for our last year of grad school. Well, there was this pattern of her and the rest of the group ostracizing this one girl in our friend group — like, getting quiet when she walked in the room, hanging out without her, having a separate group chat — real middle school stuff. I took part in it too, which was insanely shitty of me and I deeply regret it, but it also meant I recognized it immediately when she started doing it to me."

"Suddenly she didn't want to move in together. And then she never made plans with me to hang out, even when I proposed the plans myself. Then she and the rest of the group ignored me for the whole evening at her house. For some context, we were 24 years old at this time. It was never a full out fight, and I wasn't sure if what I was seeing was real or if I was being paranoid, so I decided to wait for her to reach out instead. She didn't speak to me at all for a whole year. Not even when I saw on Facebook that she had gotten engaged. It absolutely destroyed me — worst heartbreak of my entire life. After a lot of pain and healing, I was able to recognize all her shitty mean girl behavior for what it was, but I was still devastated. I had dreams about talking to her again for months and months, and they weren't even about us reconciling or me putting her in her place; they were always just me wanting her to recognize that her actions hurt me. I never got that, not in the dreams or real life."

—Anonymous

3."At the start of COVID-19, I found out my previous best friend’s (I will call her B) dad had terminal cancer and would most likely not make it. During the time he was sick, I did everything I could for her, such as bringing in weekly dinners, [making] daily phone calls, and on multiple occasions I would cancel plans if she said that she needed to see me. After her dad passed away, B started to pull away from me. She would make rude comments towards my own dad and make fun of my sister verbally. When I saw her over the last summer she would tell me about all of the times she hung out with my old friend group but claimed I wasn’t invited because of others."

"The final straw for me is when she threw a get together homecoming party because homecoming was canceled, and invited my entire friend group but told the others to not invite me. I found out about this from one of my friends that went to her party and [there] was a video of her bad-mouthing me and telling people how horrible of a person I had been. ... When I found out about this I just stopped reaching out to her. She never reached out to me again either."

—Anonymous

4."We had been friends for over 15 years. BEST friends. My father had been sick for about six years and subsequently passed away. The sicker he got, the less I hung out with her and the group of friends we had. Clearly, my priorities had changed. She never called to check in on me. Not once. When he died, she called and told me we could no longer be friends because I don’t have a dad and she can’t relate. Haven’t spoken to her in 15 years."

—Anonymous

5."My college BFF asked me to sit with her while she waited for the results of a pregnancy test. Another friend walked in and gaped. ‘Bestie’ told them it was mine, but negative and I let her, thinking she was in a moment of need. In the weeks that followed, she told all our friends (including my ex) that I was actually pregnant and that I had an abortion (all her). I denied it. So she told them I was a chronic liar who was lying about my job, my major, my basketball friends, and the pregnancy."

"She got a group together to stage an intervention, demanding I acknowledge my lies or leave. So I walked out on her and the whole group that day. I hadn’t lied once, but what was I supposed to do, show my transcripts and paystubs to be believed? Six months later I met a new group of friends (including my now husband) who are good, kind, funny, and healthy — turned out great for me."

—Anonymous

6."In college I had two best friends — we’ll call them Sarah and Mary. The three of us were inseparable; even all worked together at the campus gym. However, Sarah started to get really into the popularity contest that is college life. She started becoming a huge gossip, and got herself involved in other people’s drama on a regular basis. One summer, Sarah and Mary travelled to Europe for a month. Some drama happened on that trip, and Mary ended up coming home early. Mary didn’t say anything to anyone about what happened, just that they had a falling out. Sarah, on the other hand, wasted no time bashing Mary, telling everyone she was a monster and referring to her only as Satan. She succeeded in turning everyone against Mary and making her life very difficult."

"I was stuck in the middle; I had been hoping they would reconcile. Mary never asked me to pick sides, but Sarah demanded that I publicly take HER side. When I hesitated to do that, she took it as a declaration of war, and went to work bashing ME to pieces too. So Mary and I continued our friendship with no drama (to this day!) while Sarah began to sink her own ship by pulling this shit over and over with more and more people. By the end of that school year, no one trusted Sarah anymore. Mary even got a few apologies! Sarah broke our hearts, but she had clearly become a toxic person."

—Anonymous

7."I had a miscarriage after years of infertility, and my so-called friends told me that I was better off and that it was all part of God's plan and that I shouldn't be with my husband because he doesn't make me happy and is controlling. It was girl's night. I got up and walked out and never spoke to them again. My husband and I now have a a two year old son and I'm due any time now with our daughter. I couldn't be happier."

—stephanierhneabaker

8."I had a best friend that I met during nursing school. She used to hang out with me all the time and sometimes my ex fiancé. She was spoiled and entitled, but still mourning as she lost her father a few years prior. She was clingy, copied off of whatever I did, and then decided to sleep with my cousin (he had a girlfriend) because she had a crush on him despite my protests (to both of them). It sent red flags up but I still was friends with her. The last nursing semester of our first year approached and it was really difficult. I studied like wild but she waited until the last minute to study. She ... [told] everyone she was failing because her father JUST passed away. She ended up failing out of nursing school that semester and blamed me. We stopped talking as I 'should have made sure' she passed."

"She ended up reaching out to my fiancé ... He met up with her behind my back and they hooked up. My ex randomly broke up with me (saying we were too different...after five years) and not even a week later, they were dating. I was betrayed by both of them 1000%. Karma got them though because they broke up three months later and he texted me the day they split to beg me to get back together (hell no), and she struggled to find a relationship and to get into another nursing school program. As for me? I met my husband a few weeks randomly after my ex and I split. We’ve been together now for seven years, married with two kids. Oh and I’m a successful Critical Cardiac RN."

—stephaniee486895d0b

9."I broke off the friendship when I realized how emotionally manipulative she was. She would give me the silent treatment, ignoring my messages for weeks at a time if I said no to doing her a favor. Would call me and talk AT me for up to three hours at a time, and if I said something as advice on her situation that she didn’t like, she would suddenly be so upset she would message me hours after the conversation finished to tell me she was switching her phone off as she was too upset for contact (bearing in mind the conversation ended hours ago so that announcement wasn’t necessary). If I tried talking to her about any of the issues I had with our friendship she would tell me she was crying her eyes out as I made her feel like such a bad friend, so I felt trapped in the cycle for fear of upsetting her."

"I did try talking to her about it as a last ditch attempt to save the friendship, but all I got out was that I found it difficult talking to her about my concerns due to her reactions, before she straight away did the usual of telling me she was crying her eyes out as I was making her feel like such a bad friend. So I told her straight that her saying stuff like that makes me feel like I can’t talk to her about any deeper issues for fear of upsetting her, and straight away got the silent treatment again! No response whatsoever. So that was it for me. I let that friendship go and felt lighter for it."

—nib80

10."When I was about 22-23, my BFF and I both ended our friendship with our 'third musketeer.' Any time we went out, she'd ask us over first to see what we were wearing so her outfit wasn't to be outdone by anyone. She'd also tell us when we looked absolutely horrible in something how wonderful we looked, but if something was super flattering it would be met with a 'I really don't think you should wear that, it doesn't look great.'"

"The final straw was her chasing after two guys I was starting to see (one when we were 21 and the next was a year later when we were fed up with her). She was untrustworthy and only ever looking out for herself. She now has a gaggle of super fake girlfriends."

—brittanybeeee

11."After 20 years of being best friends, ... we always kept in touch, visited each other in different cities and remained close. After I got news of having a tumor in my breast and a cancer scare, I told her I was having surgery via text. She never responded…and we had just exchanged texts the day before about catching up soon. I haven’t heard from her since, and that was four months ago. I texted her, called her, left messages asking if she was okay and that I was a bit worried about her (three months into no responses). I recently contacted her sister to make sure she wasn’t dead or in the hospital, and her sister said she’s doing well and that she saw her on that weekend."

"It’s hurting me a lot and yeah I’m being ghosted of a best friend of 20 years. She definitely wasn’t there for me when i was at my lowest and I needed her, And she also didn’t respond when I told her I was worried about her."

—Anonymous

12."I had this toxic friend in high school who would drive me away from my other friends, insisting that they were just making fun of me. Then, when I ditched my other friends, this 'friend' would shame me for not having other friends. She would constantly embarrass me and push my buttons."

"A few months later, in college, she offered me to talk about my feelings. I was stupid and really believed she changed; she then had the nerve to say that I chose to not have friends and to be abused by the president of a club we were both in (and who this 'friend' secretly sided with and then tried to deny it in front of me). ... Anyone who's reading this, if your friend is anything like this (constantly lies, pushes your buttons and shames you for your problems/feelings that you have no control over), run!"

—nostalgicdolphin30

13."I became very close with a friend during college. We had a lot in common, a shared cultural background, and overall a very special friendship. This was until I started noticing that she didn’t seem super happy when I had big accomplishments or wasn’t available to celebrate with me. There would be occasions when she would give different versions of a story or anecdote to different people, and then gaslight me about that ever happening."

"The last straw was when I found out (through a third person , mind you) that she would disclose to other people what I shared with her in private, including a very painful breakup that I asked her to keep between us. I confronted her about it and in the end she did apologize, not without stating that she divulged things to acquaintances because 'she was worried about me.' I accepted it but realized it wasn’t a sincere friendship and I moved on. Not a great way to show you care."

—Anonymous

14."Looking back now, I realize there were definitely red flags in my friendship with the person who was supposed to be my best friend. Over the course of our five year friendship I had two different boyfriends and in both instances she was ... always encouraging me to break up with them. At the time I didn’t really see how she was pushing me to be single but now I realize she wanted me to spend time only with her."

The betrayal came when I met the man who is now my husband. We got engaged fairly quickly and my 'friend' actually made a list of reasons of why it was a bad idea to marry him. The main reason being that he is an immigrant. I married him in a small ceremony with only my family present and when I told her we did get married she told me she could not tolerate that behavior in a friend and hasn’t spoken to me in over a year. She had even moved to my small town during the pandemic to be closer to me so now I still see her all the time and she won’t acknowledge me or my kids or family. She even had the nerve to say that she would consider being my friend again when I got divorced. Since I don’t plan on getting divorced she’s in for a long wait."

—juliasmithb

15."I was friends with this individual since kindergarten, and we were borderline inseparable. [But] every time she would catch feelings or get a boyfriend, I would instantly become dismissed. She would prioritize her time to where I was always an afterthought. ... When they would break up, she would run back to me, leaning on me constantly needing to hang out 24/7. This cycle would continue until she got another boyfriend."

"She did this all throughout high school, and after her senior year boyfriend and her broke up, she decided to go to the same college as me where I assumed the cycle would continue. ... Halfway through our freshman year of college, I told her that I was not mad and there was no bad blood, but the friendship was over and that was that. I continued my college life separate from her. To nobody's surprise, she reached out to me a few years after college to grab a drink. I accepted thinking she was just trying to reconnect, only to find out 10 minutes in that another man had broken her heart and she needed someone to lean on to pick up the pieces. I never agreed to meet up again."

—Anonymous

16."It took me a long time to realize how toxic my (now former) best friend was. She had misconstrued ideas on what makes a gay man as in fashion, likes, etc. — all stereotypes. ... She always commented how she was going to 'revoke my gay card.' Mind you, she's straight; I'm gay. We got into a massive fight because I got tired of her telling me that I was a 'bad gay' simply because I dressed comfortable (t-shirt and jeans) rather than being fashionable. I lost my patience over these jokes so I told her to knock it off and that I didn't like it."

"She blurts out, 'Well then, our friendship is over!' At that point, I was so done that I said, 'I'm fine with that' and walked away from her. That's not the toxic part — the toxic part was her texting me afterwards saying, 'For this friendship to be over - you need to explain why you said this/did this, etc.' and proceeded to list every transgression I allegedly made/said over the course of our friendship! It was like she wrote down everything I did and was waiting to list it for this exact moment. I did not respond but I blocked her on everything — social media. emails, etc. Even my number has changed because she was giving my number to her friends to reach out to me to 'talk to her.' I want nothing to do with her anymore and now I'm much happier without her in my life."

—Anonymous

17."I was the punching bag in the group. All they did was make fun of me and would never invite me to anything. After a few months, the bullying turned to racism (I was the only person of color in the friend group). After putting up with the racism for a while, I approached them about it. They were in denial and told me that I was the racist one and that I just needed to 'chill' because 'Black people get made fun of all the time and they don’t complain.'"

"I finally just went cold turkey, ignoring them. They got the message and stopped talking to me, but never apologized. Four months later I am finally happy and confident in who I am!"

—Anonymous

18."Best friends since elementary school (15 year friendship) but as we got older there were more and more restrictions placed on me during our friendship. She never wanted me around any new friend she made because she didn’t want me to become friends with them as well. But it was always expected of me to invite her to any plan that I had and if I didn’t it would be a huge fight. The last straw for me was I started noticing that she would put me down and make jokes at my expense to guys either I was interested in or she was (mind you she had a boyfriend)."

"Going out, it became my job to make sure she didn’t cheat and got home safely. Eventually I realized we stopped being friends years ago but I kept holding on to that childhood friendship even though we weren’t the same people with same mindsets anymore."

—Anonymous

19."I reached out to my friend on a Monday after a crazy weekend. She told me she had been in a car accident, was not working that week, and wasn’t doing well. She then told me that she tried to hurt herself ... and didn’t want to live anymore. Well, obviously that’s a terrifying text, so I called her about 10 times with no answer. I got so worried that I called the emergency mobile mental health service to go check on her. She finally called me back right when I hung up with the service to tell me she was shopping with a friend! When I told her that because she never answered her phone I sent the mental health service she screamed at me for having betrayed her."

"Turns out she was trying to get a rise out of me because I hadn’t texted her that weekend. I felt so manipulated and blocked her for using mental health as a way to 'get at me.'"

—Anonymous

20."We had been best friends for ~10 years, since freshman year of college. ... She got engaged in 2019 and asked me to be her maid of honor. We started planning her 2020 wedding, bachelorette party, etc., and then the pandemic hit. She was already dealing with a lot of wedding stress and lashing out at those of us who suggested postponing events or at least cutting guest lists down. She became a complete lunatic and completely disowned any guests (many out of state) that didn’t attend her wedding or bridal shower."

"I had planned and paid for an entire destination bachelorette party, then replanned when postponed...and replanned again. The party would now take place after the wedding. I reluctantly went through with attending the 200+ person wedding and immediately quarantined myself away from everyone afterwards. Since vaccines weren’t available yet (summer 2020), I shared my concerns with flying out of state to a COVID hot spot, and was hit with 'You're my maid of honor; you can’t do this to me.' I tested positive for COVID the week of the trip ... but was not having any symptoms, thankfully. She told me if I didn’t have symptoms, I was being selfish and I had no reason not to get on a plane and get to her bachelorette party and then she hung up on me. I called the hotel and sent a bottle of expensive champagne to her room and never heard from her again. We literally haven’t spoken since. Oh and she’s a nurse. In a hospital."

—Anonymous

21."So near the beginning of tenth grade, I was starting to come out to people around me as a lesbian. I had these two really close friends who I was anxious about telling, one in particular. She had moved to the US back when we were in middle school, and her and I could only communicate via a text translating app. We had been close for so long, so one day I decided to tell her. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, she turned and walked in the opposite direction. For two weeks, I didn't hear from her, but I saw her ignoring me plenty. I cried myself to sleep every night for those two weeks because one of the people I was closest to in the whole world had dropped me like it was nothing."

"After these two weeks, I got a text asking if we could talk. When we met early at school the next day, she told me that due to her religion, she couldn't accept that I was gay. However, she was willing to still be my friend even though she couldn't 'love the gay parts' of me. It was that second that I knew our entire friendship had been a lie. No decent person would start ignoring someone after 5 years of being inseparable. I haven't spoken to her since."

—Anonymous

22."I found out that my best friend had slept with our other best friend's husband while they were all on vacation together. She crawled into their bed in the hotel and went for it. My friend (the wife) woke up while they were in the middle of it all. I had been making excuses for this friend's behavior for years. If she hooked up with someone's boyfriend or partner it wasn't a big deal because they were 'unhappy anyways.' I'd even taken her side when she had hooked up with my ex-boyfriend when she knew I wasn't over him yet because our friendship was too important. It took this incident to open my eyes to the years of toxic behavior I'd witnessed and been victim to. I haven't spoken with her since. I hope I never speak to her again."

—Anonymous

23."I finally realized what a one-sided and toxic relationship we had when she would call me to obsess over a guy she liked while I was literally sitting in hospice next to my dying grandmother who had been like a mom to me. She did this multiple times in the final days of my grandmother’s life, briefly asking how I was doing then brushing it aside to talk about her, even when I was still helping care for my special needs uncle who was also in his final days."

"I would justify it because I knew she was nervous and at least she had asked, right? I still ended up visiting her with a couple friends in New York a couple months later. That trip ended with me crying on a corner in Times Square for how she was treating me and then us packing up, cleaning, then leaving her apartment and getting a hotel the last two nights of our stay. I haven’t spoken to her since and my anxiety level has decreased substantially."

—Anonymous

24."After a break-up, I moved in with my best friend/performance partner and her sister. They were from a well-off family that paid for their rent and bills. I was not. I was financially struggling and not a day went by that I wasn’t reminded that these two girls were helping me out by letting me stay at their house. It wasn’t a big deal until one night we had a show in San Francisco (over a three hour drive from where we lived). We drove out in her car ... she was too sleepy to drive so I offered. ... On the way home, the front drivers side tire blew out. It sent the car spinning off the road into a field. Fortunately, the car didn’t flip, no one was injured and no property damage. Because she had a spare, I offered to change the tire and get back on the road."

"I tried to explain to her that it was just the tire and I could change it and get moving but she insisted on calling a tow truck. I saw that she was upset so I just let her do what she needed to do. The next day she asked me to go with her to the tire shop. ... When the mechanic looked at the tires, he said all four needed to be replaced because they were so worn out that the metal stringy things were showing through. It was unsafe to drive the car with those tires. I was thrown back because this was not something that happened during our trip; the tires had to have been bald for some time before and for her to offer to drive us such a long distance on bald tires was just irresponsible to me. Well, when it came time to pay for the tires she turned to me expecting that I was going to pay for the tires. ... At the time I honestly could not afford to pay for the tires (and she knew this) so when she realized I was not going to pay she intentionally demeaned me by saying something like ‘another thing to add to your tab’. I later found out that her dad had given her the money for the tires months before but she had spent it partying. I left their place the following month and have not spoken to her since."

—Anonymous

25."I had been friends with someone for well over 15 years. ... She was in a relationship with someone and ended becoming pregnant. I hosted her shower and was even asked to be her child’s godparent. I received a call from her one day that she was moving to another state because she was in an abusive relationship and needed to leave. Having escaped an abusive relationship myself that she was aware of, I was there there immediately for her in her time of need. While her boyfriend was out of town, we packed up her house and she and her child left the state, leaving me to then deal with an irate man and to clean up her mess."

"I don’t know the truth about their relationship, but I couldn’t help but feel she tugged on a sensitive part of my heart for her benefit. My friend told me that she was living with cousins until she could get on her feet. A year or so later, I went out to visit her and my godchild, noticing a ring on her wedding finger. I asked what was going on, and she told me she was engaged and had actually moved to be with someone else. She completely lied to me for years and once I returned home from my trip, I deleted and blocked her completely from my life and I don’t regret my decision one bit. She ended up ditching the guy she was engaged to to then move in with the mom of the ex I helped her 'escape' from."

—Anonymous

26."Best friends since age 11. ... I was made her maid of honor. I worked my ass off helping her plan everything and prep everything. I planned the menu, helped her shop for it, [and] hand made 14 dozen cupcakes to her specifications and an additional bridal cake just for them. I was in the midst of a health crisis, and doing everything I could despite being burnt out and in a ton of pain. She wouldn’t even talk to me when I tried to go to her for support because the focus had to be on her wedding and what I was doing for her."

"The day before the wedding I was at her house with her dad and another bridesmaid, frosting the cupcakes and helping pre-cook the food. ... She got home and started screaming at me for frosting the cupcakes with peanut butter frosting, even though that’s the flavor she asked me to make, because her sister’s boyfriend had an allergy. I had asked her multiple times if there were allergies, because peanuts are a really common allergen. She told me I was stupid and she didn’t know why I bothered to come, as I hadn’t helped with any of the planning. I chalked it to wedding jitters and finished what I was doing and went home to finish the cake. I was up until 3 a.m. ... I slept for an hour and then my partner and I were at her house at dawn to load up the car, and I had to get my hair curled. We went to the wedding spot and needed a bathroom, so we ran to a coffee shop a block away, and came back and started setting up. She got there and yelled at me for being late. ... My partner (who hates this friend) helped me and several others set up the area, and when the wedding happened I was told that I was no longer the maid of honor, so someone else would be standing next to her.

I just wanted to get through the day without more yelling so I pushed through, and we helped pack up. I noticed she hadn’t even looked at the bridal cake, so I brought it to her and said that maybe she forgot about it. She said she just didn’t care about it and I could take it home because she didn’t want it. I left it and we went home. A few days later she texted me and said that my partner was incredibly rude at the wedding (he was not) and that I had barely helped and she was really upset with me. I ended up cutting contact."

—Anonymous

27."He bailed on being a groomsman the week of my wedding. I asked him over a year in advance, and he agreed and was excited about it and said he'd get the time off work. ... Two weeks prior, I started checking in and making sure he had the right stuff for his outfit, and I got radio silence. ... He finally responded six days before the wedding and said that he wasn't able to get off work the day of my wedding, he 'tried everything but his boss couldn't let him take a day off' but he'd be happy to join us for the rehearsal dinner and the combo bach party. I'm assuming he forgot to ask for the time off, but that's beside the point; the audacity of asking to be a part of two major wedding events without coming to the wedding combined with the stress of having to rush to find a replacement to fill out my side of the altar broke something inside me and I haven't been able to forgive him even after almost three years."

"He was one of my best friends for the better part of a decade, but after this I started reevaluating behaviors I'd shrugged off in the past; how badly he treated his partner and women in general, the constant one-upping, the way he talked about my wife, and realized it was time for me to grow up and move past him. We've traded a few texts since, but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him."

—Anonymous

28."About two weeks before my wedding she informed me she was bringing a date (she was not invited with one) and proceeded to lambast the attendees at my wedding shower for not asking her more about her life and interests and said they were all 'rude bitches.' She said my MIL was obnoxious and that she wanted to punch my mother in the face for barely mentioning my brother (from whom I am estranged and he was in prison at the time). I think she felt like she was defending me, but she was acting like a brat because she wasn’t the center of attention. I uninvited her from the wedding since she clearly wasn’t going to have a good time anyway, blocked her number and email and haven’t spoken to her since."

—Anonymous

29.And finally..."I got really sick, like I was dying in hospital. And my friend stopped talking to me. Because that would have been 'too much drama' for her. I didn’t address it. I let her be and I’m way better for it now. Haven’t missed her and my anxiety is improved."

—Anonymous

Have you ever had to "break up" with a friend? Let us know in the comments below!

Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.