27 Stories About "Nice Guys" That Ended Up Being Stalkers, Creeps, And Overall Horrible People
Recently, we wrote up the stories of women who realized they were on a date with a dreaded "Nice Guy," and at the end, we asked for more horrible experiences with Nice Guys.
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Well, after some great responses,* we're back with some more horrifying stories of so-called "nice" men. Here are people's experiences.
We also supplemented the replies from the BuzzFeed Community with some of the comments from these Reddit threads!
WARNING: There are multiple mentions of stalking and threatened sexual assault as well as threatened suicide below.
1."Guy I'd hung out with a few times offered to come feed my cat for the weekend I was away. We agreed on how much I'd pay him. When I got home, I saw that he left the money on the counter. I texted to thank him and ask when I can pick up my key. He basically demanded sex since he hadn't taken the money and he wanted sex instead. I said...he should have just taken the $20 as agreed. Then he refused to give back my key and said he would sell it on Craigslist with my address and photos of me."
"I informed him that I'd screen-shotted the conversation and sent it to several friends, and if anything happened to me, they would show the conversation to the police. ... He then said that threatening to have me raped was just a joke."
2."A guy tried to take my phone and use it to text my then-boyfriend that we were over. When confronted, nice guy said my boyfriend didn't treat me right, or else we wouldn't be doing long distance (this was during college, and he was 1.5 hours away by train). When I obviously got mad, he called me a bitch, a whore, and an idiot for not realizing what I had in front of me."
"Cue three days of emo/angsty facebook statuses with me tagged in them. I blocked him. He cried about why we weren't friends anymore; I asked him to give me some time and we could try again. One and a half days later, dick pic. When I didn't respond to that, he sent me a long, handwritten letter about how perfect my body is and how he would treat me like a princess, especially in bed."
3."Everyone thought he was super nice. I did, too, at first. Turns out he had kinks and anger issues I wasn't into. He made a key to my house I didn't know about, screamed anytime I talked to my guy friends, let himself in one day and kicked in my bathroom door while I was using it, and went through all my messages (he didn't find anything because there was nothing to find). I told him over and over again we were not in a relationship, and he just told me, 'In my head, we are.'"
"Oh, [and he] also screamed at me, 'I am [insert name]! I am love!' I quite literally moved across states to be close to my family because he wouldn't stop stalking me. But he's a nice guy. Just ask him or his friends and family."
4."This guy messaged me on OkCupid. He was 62. ... I was 20, and he was a dozen years older than my parents. I said thanks but no thanks; I was uncomfortable with that much of an age difference, good luck out there. He flipped. Nonstop messages vacillating between how I would regret this, wheedling, compliments, and apologies, and calling me a whore, a slut, a blueballer, etc. Literally dozens upon dozens of messages a day. He was a lawyer! He had ways of making me regret this! I would never do as good as him! No other man would treat me so well, and I was a whore if I said no! On and on."
"This was many years ago. At the time, you could report someone for harassment on OkCupid, but it didn't stop that person from messaging you."
5."I met him at a party, gave him a ride home, and after belting out 'Don't Stop Believing' together, he asked for my number. We went on one date and texted for a week. Then Saturday morning, I woke up to 50+ texts that started with asking what I was doing (sleeping because I worked in the morning) and went all the way up to 'I should just kill myself since no one wants to talk to me.' I told him that was unacceptable as I had already told him I worked Saturday morning, but even if I hadn't, theres no reason to text me over 50 times. If I'm not answering, I'm not answering. He whined about being so nice, and how good he was to me and blah blah blah blah blah. Thankfully, when my friends asked why I was ignoring such a nice guy, showing them the texts was enough for them to drop it."
6."I had a Korean pen pal for a few months [who] seemed pretty nice. We talked online and on the phone a couple times. I had lived in Korea for a while before then and had come back to the US, and there were some cheap little snacks I said I really missed and couldn't find because I lived out in the middle of nowhere. He offered to send me some, and he seemed nice, so I gave him my address to mail them to me. Well, big fucking mistake; he didn't end up mailing the snacks. He decided he was going to 'surprise' me by flying his ass down to the US and come to my apartment."
"To my horror, documenting the entire trip and sending it to me. Fortunately, it was gated, and he was too stupid to think of sneaking through the gate behind someone, but he kept sending me pictures of him outside the complex patrolling the perimeter and asking me to come out and see him so he could take me on a date. He was outraged that I would not come out and see him after he had been so 'nice' to fly out there and tried to entice me with gifts that he had brought. He was under the impression that this gesture was romantic. His I'm-outside-your-apartment selfies turned into post-cry selfies and why-don't-you-want-to-be-with-mes, and so on and so forth. And no, this dude and I never talked or even joked about the possibility of a relationship prior to him showing up. I tried to explain why it wasn't appropriate for a 50-year-old dude to fly to another country and stalk a 20-something's apartment, but he didn't get it. He said it wasn't stalking because we were friends and I gave him my address, so he assumed he was free to come over. ... This continued for about 10 days until he had to go back to Korea. He mailed me a ring with his and my name engraved on it."
7."I met a guy through OkCupid in 2020 — a nerdy bodybuilder type who was an elementary school guidance counselor. Sounds great, right? You’d think, but NOPE. We had two virtual 'dates' over Zoom. On the second one, he told me he could see himself raising a family with me."
"We hadn’t even discussed what kind of relationship each of us were looking for, so it was completely out of left field. He also would not stop mentioning that he could 'bench-press me.' I agreed to a third Zoom date, but after some thinking, I broke it off right at the beginning of the call. Or tried to, at least. He then spent the next 30 minutes sobbing about how no one wants to date him, how his older brother has a family already, and [how] he wants to have kids, too, so they can all play together. Then he broke down even more and told me he’d been sexually assaulted at a party a year ago. I told him I was sorry to hear all that, but if he wants to talk about it, he should connect with his friends or get therapy. He then insisted that I was lying about wanting to break it off — otherwise, why would I stay on the call and listen to him vent for this long? He said, 'You just want me to make you change your mind. No other guy is ever going to be as nice to you as I would.' When I tried to tell him how gross and manipulative he was being, he hung up. To this day, one of my worst 'nice guy' experiences."
8."New uni, new city. Met some people from my field of study who introduced me to more people from other fields. That's how I met Nice Guy™. Cool dude at first; we shared similar tastes. A month later, he made me visit the city. It all went downhill from there. We went to a night club with our group of friends celebrating the beginning of the year, and he tried to flirt with me. I rejected him clearly, but nicely. After that...he began acting like a douchebag. When I finally asked him what was wrong, he yelled at me, saying things like, 'I'm a kind dude, and since I've known you, you've treated me like I was nothing.'"
"I explained to him that I'm sorry that treating him the way I treated every friend in the group made him feel that way, but that I wasn't responsible for how he felt, especially when I actually quite liked him and had good times with him. After arguing over the fact that I'm a heartless bitch and whatnot, he then told me that, in short, I shouldn't have rejected him that night because I owed him since he made me visit the city. In short, apparently, when someone helps you, it owes you a free ticket for sexual favors. He was nothing but 'nice and thoughtful' and I should have 'given him a chance.' And for not being interested in him, I was nothing but a 'cunt' who 'doesn't understand the chance she had' because he 'could've drugged and raped me' when we were alone, but he didn't since he's so nice. Sooooo charming!"
9."In high school, a guy I barely knew tried to convince me to tell my parents that I was going to a friend's house but really go hang out with him. I was normally rebellious, but got the feeling that my parents would be right in telling me I couldn’t spend time with him. I politely rejected his offer and blamed my parents so it wouldn’t be awkward, and he retaliated by covering my dad’s car in dyed tampons. Patrick, you’re a fucking creep."
10."Met a guy when I was 17. He was several years older. We had a lot in common, including other, mutual friends. So, naturally we hung out quite a bit. As soon as I turned 18, he got upset that I didn’t want a romantic relationship with him and got angry at me for 'leading him on all this time — why did he put so much time into being friends with me,' etc."
"I decided dating him wouldn’t be so bad if we were already having fun as friends. Plus, I was going to college soon, so that would be a natural breaking up point. When I moved away for college, he followed me to be with me, but it was really so he could keep tabs on me. For instance, I caught him sitting outside my apartment at night. We broke up, but he continued to stalk me. Six months later, even after I started dating someone else, he was trying to book trips for us. I cut all contact with him, moved on with my life, and even after getting married…13 years after our breakup, he is still trying to get in touch with me."
11."An acquaintance of mine decided I was someone he wanted, and he kept calling me (before the days of texts) and propositioning me even though I was married at the time. He knew this. Eventually, I told him that I would not speak with him anymore if he brought up sex again, and he promised to just keep it friendly. A couple more calls later, he did it again, and I hung up on him. He called one last time. I didn't pick up, and he left me a message: 'I can see I've finally gotten through to you and you're ready for me.' Clueless much?"
12."My parents had friends who had a son considerably older than me — as in, like, 13 years older. However, when I reached puberty, he took a liking to me. My mother loved his family and thought he was SO handsome, so she always tried to make us hang out in hopes it would kindle something. Mind you, I was, like, 16 when he was 29. My mom somehow saw nothing wrong with this. Anyhow, nothing ever happened, and I got a boyfriend until I was 23, at which time we broke up. This is when Mr. Nice Guy swooped in, showing up at my house with flowers and gifts unannounced. I never gave him my address — he asked MY MOM."
"Then he would notice I posted I had a cold on FB and would show up with cold medicine and soup. Which would be nice if I had ANY interest in him, but I didn't. He would look where I checked into on FB and COINCIDENTALLY just be there. I felt bad being like dude STOP, 'cause my mom invited him to every family function, and I didn't wanna make things weird.
It hit the peak when he got a job where I worked just to be closer to me, and he told everyone we were dating. Spoiler alert — we weren't. I flipped out on him and told him he was creepy and that after all these years he never took the hint from me never answering his calls/texts or taking him up on his relentless attempts to take me out to dinner. I quit my job and moved and blocked him on everything, and had a firm conversation with my mom about keeping him away from me. She was upset and made excuses for him but ultimately obliged. Years later, I'm now married with a baby, and he still relentlessly pursues me if he sees me in public."
13."I went out on a first date and wasn't feeling it. I offered to pay the tab, but he wouldn't let me — we parted ways. You'd think that would be the end, right? Oh no. He texted me later, telling me how I hurt him by accepting his kindness (the dinner he paid for even though he didn't have to) and just sending him home alone. He was horny, and said, 'Why don't you come over and work off that dinner, wink wink.' I responded by telling him to lose my number. He responded back by calling me a money-hungry whore. I responded by sending my half of the dinner we shared to him via PayPal."
14."Ugh, Creepy Dan. He was a friend of a friend and about 15-20 years older than me (I was 19-20ish, and he was almost 40). I had a boyfriend (my now-husband) at the time, and he still would tell me how much better he would treat me and how perfect we would be together. Before I knew how awful he was, we were all at a bonfire. When saying goodbye to everyone, I put my hand on his shoulder to get his attention to say goodbye. Cue him frantically Facebook messaging me about an 'emergency' while I was out of town, so I gave him my phone number to see what was wrong (he lived in the same small town as my bf). He went on a huge tirade about the dreams he’s had of us together, some creepy masturbation details, and then sang a song he wrote for me."
"After that, he was known as Creepy Dan and would 'randomly' be at the gas station I was at, the grocery store, anywhere 'in the neighborhood,' and ALWAYS would send me a text immediately afterwards to be like, 'I’m watching you. You are so fucking sexy.' [I get the] heebie jeebies just thinking about him! What’s worse is some of the guys in our friend group would say the classic, 'Oh, he’s such a nice guy! Give him a chance!' Yeah, I have a very different group of friends now."
15."I had a guy ask me to hang as a friend, just me and him. I got there; he had his kids there. First red flag: He said, 'You met my kids. You have to date me.' Second red flag was bashing their mom to them for over an hour, calling her names for cheating. Cheating is wrong, but not something you talk about to the kids you share. Third: telling the daughter she was the favorite in front of the son. ... Just as I was about to mention — after the kids went to bed — that I wanted to leave, he went on an hour rant about how I needed to take my makeup off."
"I had to pretend to be calm. He deliberately was stalling and blocking the door. I peeled out of there. I left something over there and had to swing by but refused to go in. ... I eventually had to tell him why I'd never hang out with him again. He 'didn't realize how bad he came off.'"
16."I lived in a small town in Wyoming, and this was my sophomore year in high school. He was new in school. I had a couple classes with him, and I tried to invite him to sit with me and meet my friends so he wasn't alone. Two days after knowing him, he sent me this long message on Facebook basically declaring his love for me. The whole conversation was him saying that no one was going to love me the way he does, how he broke up with his current girlfriend for me, and if I let him down, he would kill himself. BIG NO, instant block."
"The next day, his ex-girlfriend messaged me, stating that I was a whore and giving me death threats. He was going around the school telling people that I was a teenage prostitute and that my boobs were fake. I was Mormon, a pretty devoted one. Plus, since I grew up in a small town, everyone knew me.
Well, he kept creating new Facebook profiles and sending me messages. All along the lines of me deserving to be raped to the fact that he loved me. This continued a year. The school changed my classes so I didn't have any with him, but it wasn't until he showed up at my house with his dad's gun that I was able to get a restraining order. He moved to Texas, and I haven't seen or heard from him since."
17."A few days after my boyfriend and I had broken up, I got a message from an acquaintance I hadn't spoken to in years telling me he was picking me up and we were going to dinner so I should 'dress nice.' I tried my best to politely decline, even though I really didn't like the fact that he was more or less demanding I spend time with him. I told him I wasn't interested in dating right now because I was still recovering from my breakup (which was the truth), and that I would prefer to spend some time alone. He sent me something like 40 texts that day saying I was being rude and conceited, that he was just trying to be nice and cheer me up, and how no wonder my boyfriend broke up with me."
"He said he didn't care, he was still picking me up, and I'd better be ready on time. Finally, I'd had enough and told him to leave me alone because he was making me feel uncomfortable. If he had just started a conversation with me and asked if I wanted to hang out and catch up, I probably would have said yes."
18."I went on a first date with a guy — casual date for coffee. It wasn't terrible, but it was obvious that we didn't really click that well. He did the typical 'nice guy' stuff during the date where he talked about how he was different from other guys, knew how to treat a woman, some talking down on 'gym bros,' etc. I ended the date pretty quickly as I wasn't really feeling it, and had just gotten off of a midnight shift, so it was past my 'bedtime.' He insisted on walking me to my car and opening the door for me. Fine, whatever. Then he hugged me, and when we went to break apart, he tried kissing me. I turned my face, and he immediately got agitated, blocked me from entering my car, and said, 'What?!? No kiss?!'"
"I'm a pretty easy-going and tolerant person, but that was the first time something like that had ever happened, and I immediately felt a slight bit of fear, as the guy was blocking my car and was about 6'4" — so much larger than me. I immediately put on my super serious face and said, 'No, sorry. I really need to be getting home now,' and luckily, he moved. Took a bit of a break from dating after that."
19."A waiter at a restaurant left his number on my bill and asked me on a date. I was single and agreed because we had mutual friends who vouched for him, and he seemed nice. Night of the date, he showed up to my house absurdly overdressed (there was a vest involved) with a single rose that he presented to me. He took me to a basketball game, and the second I sat down, the stranger to my left just said, 'Oh, you must be L! We've heard so much about you.' Turns out the two people sitting to my left were not strangers but in fact HIS MOTHER AND FATHER."
"We then went to dinner — he turned white as a ghost and excused himself to the restroom for maybe 30 minutes. At this point, I started to worry and got the check. He then came back looking incredibly unwell, and I said, 'Clearly you're ill, don't worry about taking me home — I'll grab a cab.' He wasn't having it and insisted on taking me home because he had another 'surprise' planned for me. There's a road that has famous views where I live, and he took the road to one of the lookout points, parked the car, and turned on 'Cheek to Cheek' by Frank Sinatra. He got out and asked me to dance with him, and I said we should just look at the view, and then he proceeded to vomit absolutely everywhere. I shrieked and jumped back into the car to avoid him vomiting all over me. He took me home and then called me an hour later to tell me it was the best night of his life.
... I tried to tell him I wasn't interested, but he wouldn't take no for an answer, claimed I would never find anyone who treated women like queens the way he did, said I would never find anyone more chivalrous, and dropped off a letter at my home in the middle of the night that contained the most horrible things anyone has ever said to me. He also had a major affinity for three-piece suits and porkpie hats. Fun times."
20."A high school friend of mine asked me to sleep with him several times throughout our friendship, into when we were in college. He would alternate between trying to convince me he was in love with me, and insisting he was not and that it 'wouldn't mean anything.' I always turned him down and said I just wanted to be friends, etc. He would whine about how unfair it was that I 'wouldn't help him out,' and the typical bullshit about how all girls only like assholes, so he could never get laid. I moved away, and a few months later, got a text from him saying my younger sister owed him money."
"My sister is an extremely emotionally unstable heroin addict, so I knew it couldn't be good. I learned that he had tried the same shit with her, even saying the same exact shit, and when she turned him down, he tried to coax her with cash. Unsurprisingly, she took the cash. When she didn't sleep with him in turn, he started hounding my family to get it back. Piece of shit."
21."I was friends with a coworker. We had hung out a few times socially after work and got along well, but it never really occurred to me to wonder if he was interested in me. ... We were walking side by side, and I guess he went to put his arm around me. It surprised me (like that 'someone is tapping you on the opposite shoulder' trick), and I turned abruptly. He took it as incredibly rude, gave me an angry lecture about leading people on and how disgusting you make someone feel when you literally flinch from their touch, and called me a bitch."
"Uh...sorry for my reflexes? About a week later, another friend came to me at work to let me know that guy was telling everyone I was a whore who was sleeping my way through the department. Nice! The dumbest part was that I probably would have gone on a date with him if he'd asked — I just had no idea he was thinking along those lines. Bullet dodged!"
22."A few years ago, I had taken a day trip to the beach alone (I live in a teeny tiny country in Central America) and was walking through town to grab lunch. A guy stopped me, said he'd seen me on the beach earlier, and asked if I wanted to grab a drink with him. I thanked him, but politely declined. He took it pretty gracefully at first and asked if he had been offensive in his approach. I told him not at all, that I'd just had a hectic week and wanted to spend the day alone, and then I wished him well. Well, apparently that was the wrong thing to say. He said, 'What, so just because you want to spend the day alone means you can't hang out with me?' I said that that was pretty much what the definition of 'alone' entailed. He started raising his voice and asking what was wrong with him, was he ugly, was I a lesbian?"
"I should have just turned around and walked away, but at this point in my life, my fear of being thought of as impolite was greater than the fear for my own safety. So I gave him the 'I have a boyfriend' excuse. He started YELLING in the middle of the street, 'WHAT, SO JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND MEANS WE CAN'T HANG OUT? MAYBE I JUST WANTED TO BE YOUR FRIEND, HUH? MAYBE I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU. MAYBE I SEE YOU AS MORE THAN JUST A PRETTY FACE, UNLIKE YOUR SHALLOW BOYFRIEND [who didn't actually exist].' I started to back away, telling him that it was nice meeting him but that I had to go. At this point, people were thankfully starting to see what was going on. Dude said, 'Why are you backing away? Are you SCARED of me? WHY ARE YOU SCARED OF ME? I'M A REALLY NICE GUY AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE I'M A MONSTER.'"
23."I worked at a well-known game shop in my local mall. Sold things like board games, puzzles, card games (like MtG, Yu-Gi-Oh!, etc). Anyways, I was working behind the counter when a couple guys walked in. One of them had a list of specific Magic cards he wanted for his deck. I pulled up each card on the computer, found it through the copious amounts of binders and set them aside for him to pay for them. The whole time I was being friendly and making small talk, like someone in my position is supposed to do (especially when my boss was next to me). He paid me, thanked me, then left."
"The next day, I came in for my shift...early so I waited and sat outside the store on a bench. Then came Mr. Nice Guy. He saw me sitting alone and came over to talk to me. I am not a very talkative person unless I have to be, so I was already pretty annoyed that he was talking to me outside of work. He did the small talk, then went straight to asking me for my number. I politely declined, saying I didn't give my number out to people I didn't know. Then he did the classic, 'Oh, then my name is xxx, what's yours?' I said, 'my name's Miss Nox.' He held out his hand for a handshake. I shook his hand, but when I pulled away, he...how do I put this...lingered on my hand too long? Like, I pulled away and his fingers glided across the back of my hand.
'We're not strangers anymore.' Yeah, no. Sorry, buddy. 'I still don't know you, I'm not giving you my number.' He then got that butt-hurt look. 'So you have a boyfriend, huh?' 'Yup.' 'You should have just told me that.' Then, he got really pissy and went into the store.
Like...I'm sorry I didn't tell you yesterday that I had a boyfriend while I was working to give you a shit ton of cards. BEING FRIENDLY WAS MY JOB, DON'T TAKE IT ANY OTHER WAY!"
24."Guy had an honest-to-god tantrum that I wouldn't let him sleep over at my place on a second date (uh, we just met and had only kissed and said second date was on a Tuesday) and then blamed my 'overwhelming Catholic guilt' (uh, no) for why I was 'denying' him. Yeesh."
25."[A] guy called and asked for a date. I asked how he got my number. He said he volunteered in the school office and pulled it from my records. He was very pushy — he thought I should know him, 'I’m on Student Council,' etc. I told him I’m not allowed to date (true). Next day, I got home and...he'd had his mom call mine and ask! I told her I don’t know him, but she already agreed because he’s 'nice' and 'it's so sweet his mom called for permission.' So I had to."
"We went for pizza and a movie. He bragged about his grades and all his achievements. I definitely wasn’t interested and thought I was done, but he thought one date meant I was his girlfriend! ... I tried being nice and told him we weren’t a good match. He CRIED. My mom blasted me for being mean to this sweet boy. I tried being rude. He’d just call my mom. He knew she’d make me. I moved in with my aunt, who knew what was going on. My mom gave him her address. He stalked me until I graduated and left town. ...
It destroyed my relationship with my mom. When she died, I went back for her funeral. Everyone who had been at her viewing the night before told me they’d enjoyed meeting my boyfriend. I wasn’t dating anyone. My aunt said, 'The little guy with the glasses.' I guess he saw her obit in the paper! I hadn’t seen him in YEARS."
26."Went on one date with this guy. He told me he was madly in love with me within half an hour of the date starting. When I was getting my train home, he tried to follow me on it (he told me basically his whole life story, so I knew he didn’t live near any of the stops) and wouldn’t stop texting me asking for a second date even when I made it very clear I wasn’t interested."
27.And finally..."[He was] super nice, kind, thoughtful, and caring out of the bedroom. Once in the bedroom, it's all: 'I don't wear condoms because I don't like the feel,' 'I don't go down on women because I don't like it,' 'you're going to terminate, right?' (when we had a pregnancy scare)."
"I like a good chubby in me from time to time, but seriously. Who invented men, and the fuck are they still around in 2022?"
What was your worst experience with a Nice Guy? Let us know in the comments below.
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
