Here are some funny tweets from this weekend for anyone who might need a laugh, a distraction, or just something light to read. Enjoy and stay safe.
Be sure to follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline.
big respect to the guy I went on a first date with who said “to be totally honest I’m looking for something serious but it can’t be with you. Respectfully, you’re a stand up comedian and that’s the ultimate red flag.” So true king!!!
Taylor Swift voice: 𝐺𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑀&𝑀 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑎 𝑠𝑙𝑢𝑡
I wanna hang out Sims style (I go to your house, we talk for 30 seconds, I go make myself spaghetti in your kitchen and become best friends with your mom)
blocking people isn't enough i want to send them into the shadow realm
I’m Goth adjacent (pale with dark hair)
in case florence + the machine comes on shuffle
megan fox’s ring:
can't drive or make pizza https://t.co/TlyV4vTnkp
me in hell describing ‘gaslighting’ and ‘lovebombing’ to a medieval peasant who was executed for stealing a spoonful of buckwheat in 1259
Commenting “i own thiz pic” on MySpace was kind nfting