Yes, my brothers compromised my mental health – but I’d never be without them
The results are in: siblings are bad for your mental health. Whether you have brothers or sisters, they will only bring you strife.
This may come as no surprise to those of you still suffering from PTSD from that Christmas Day gathering – with all the reversions to type and the inevitable drunken bust-ups those 24 hours entail – but I would take issue with the findings of US scientists, who have found that the more siblings an adolescent has, the more likely they are to be depressed, anxious and have low self-esteem.
After looking at data from more than 18,000 teenagers in China and America, Professor Douglas Downey, of Ohio State University, found that American teenagers with more siblings were more likely to agree with statements such as “I certainly feel useless at times,” and “At times I think I am no good at all”. This was marked in families with more than two children and was reported in the Journal of Family Issues.
As evidence to the contrary, I have only my own. Yes, there were moments in early childhood when I’d admit to my mental health being severely compromised. The day my eldest brother decided to shampoo my hair with furniture glue, before cutting the whole lot off in an attempt to “stop mum noticing”. The moment my other brother cut off my My Little Pony’s tail (what was it with the DIY hairdressing?). The sneering and chanting on the very first day that “Celia’s wearing a bra!” Years of therapy, right there.
Then a funny thing happened in adolescence: I decided I actually liked them – as people, I mean. Moreover, they were useful. They allowed me to understand how boys think, which was chilling and amusing in equal measure. They were protective of me whenever I needed protecting, and when they occasionally allowed me to join them at the pub or a party, I felt – whisper it – quite proud to be there, with the semi-grown-ups.
In proper adulthood, my two brothers have become real friends. If they play their cards right, they may even be lifelong friends. Which doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still agree with statements such as “I certainly feel useless at times,” or even, “At times I think I am no good at all”. Surely, you’d be hard pushed to find anyone who doesn’t?
